Author: Lois | Page 45 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Intentional & Unintentional Spiritual Abuse

I wanted to share a few thoughts on intentional and unintentional spiritual abuse. One thing I try to remind people about is that a great many who are involved in unhealthy churches are sincere in their beliefs. They often believe that what they are doing is for the Lord. They feel they are standing for ‘truth.’ Many of us can look back at our own time in our respective groups and see this in ourselves.

So in this, some hurt others. It’s not because they wanted to do so and they may have no clue as to the extent of the damage they cause. They feel they are sincerely following and serving God. Of course, this doesn’t alleviate the harm inflicted upon people.

To show a biblical example, let’s remember Saul. He persecuted the church as a Pharisee. He truly believed he was doing what God would have him to do, in upholding what he felt was truth and taking a stand against what he felt was heresy from those following Jesus. He harmed many people in his days of persecuting Christians. He was sincere, but very, very mistaken.

So everyone that is spiritually abusive is not doing it with the wrong intent in their heart.

There are also those where being in an unhealthy church is all they know. They have watched a leader or someone they admire in the church and find themselves emulating them. In doing so, they harm others, all the while thinking their actions are what they are supposed to do.

I honestly believe that a good deal of spiritual abuse comes from sincere but mistaken and misguided people. I know for myself, that I became judgmental in things and felt I was in the right. I know I did things that probably hurt people at times, but felt I was doing it for their own good. I was so misguided. Do you recall any time you hurt someone, thinking all the while you were taking a stand for ‘truth’ and doing what God wanted?

I have stated in the past that if the Lord would have opened my former pastor’s eyes, and let him see all the numerous people he hurt through the years, that he would have been devastated. He hurt many people over many years.

But then there are those who cause deliberate harm. I find much less compassion for those types. I don’t like people using and manipulating people. When I watch those shows where they are about some man who causes women to fall in love with him and then takes all they have or the ones where people scheme in other ways to defraud someone…. I get angry. It is one thing to unintentionally hurt or harm someone and a totally different ball game when people knowingly do so. There are some ministers so afraid to lose their ‘kingdom’ or livelihood that they do whatever it takes to keep it and they care not who is harmed in the process.

I heard a story awhile back where such deliberate hurt was inflicted. I saw a glimpse of the pain they had inside. And when such happens under the guise of Christianity, it hurts much more deeply, I believe. Some people have much to answer to when they face the Lord one day.

Abuse, whether intentional or unintentional, feels the same- and this is mostly true unless one sees the deliberateness. But it can also be a little easier to process and sort through when one can see that some are simply caught up in a system and do not truly realize what they are doing.

A False Sense Of Security

That’s really something to think about. You might liken it to some investment schemes. People have lost their life savings, or a good portion of it, by having a false sense of security in the investment plan offered by the scam artist. They truly believe their money is being wisely invested, with a guarantee of a profitable return. In the end, their security is shattered because what they placed their faith in ended up being false.

Some time ago, I read a book by the late Don C. Marler, former United Pentecostal Church member, entitled Imprisoned in the Brotherhood. While I disagree with aspects of the book, he brought up some points worthy of consideration. In the introduction he shares about the pursuit of truth and how it can feel like the person is on shaky ground when they start this journey. Many people who are involved in unhealthy churches get caught up in religion rather than a relationship with God. When one starts to question if what their church teaches is true or not, it shakes this religious foundation and it can be quite scary. Let me quote from Don’s introduction.

When one moves full tilt into pursuit of truth, he may find that the ground becomes shaky and his resolve to pursue truth wherever she might lead becomes tenuous. One learns that security based upon ignorance, prejudice, illusions, misinformation and blind tradition is a false security indeed. Old guideposts can no longer be relied upon. The prospect of seeking truth and following it fully then is often frightening. Not everyone can face it; some decide to keep their heads in the sand. The illusion of security is more tempting than the fearful journey into the unknown.

Some individuals believe that pursuing truth wherever she leads is dangerous because it destroys or weakens belief and faith. Beliefs should be open to change and one would hope that truth should prevail over mere beliefs. Faith, of course, is different from beliefs and should be strengthened by truth. Does it not require faith to seek truth?

A prerequisite for pursuing truth is the ability to be open and honest with self and the ability to recognize and accept that one doesn’t possess all truth. Another is the ability and courage to assume individual responsibility for one’s search and for the conclusion one reaches. The alternative to individual interpretation and definition of truth is an institutional definition and interpretation.

Why does the ground feel shaky when we start to question some teachings in unhealthy churches, whatever they may be? Have you seen ones who have started to question pull back because it is too upsetting to them? Is there a false security? What about individual responsibility? Or is it easier to “go with the flow” and remain entrenched in religion?

It’s easy to have it all laid out for you. You do this, this and this and then avoid that and the other and you’ll be pleasing to God. There’s a sense of security that can come by following such a list in an unhealthy church, but it is a false sense of security.

Think of the Pharisees. They had their list to follow and some of it was fully scriptural. But then somewhere down the road, the list became the focus, and the list grew and became more complex and detailed, so you could better keep what was in the list. They felt very secure in this. And yet it wasn’t a real security.

Jesus showed their hearts were far from God. Yet they felt they were quite saved and even above others. Children of Abraham. Keepers of the law. There was a false sense of security in their beliefs. Think about it….

Howard Goss- The Winds of God

Howard A. Goss was part of the Pentecostal movement since the very early 1900s. He helped to organize the Assemblies of God. He became the General Superintendent of the Pentecostal Church Incorporated, which later merged with another organization to form the United Pentecostal Church. Goss became the first General Superintendent of the UPC in 1945.

In the late 1950s, his wife, Ethel E. Goss, wrote a book with his input on the early years of the Pentecostal movement from 1901 to 1914. It is called The Winds of God.

There are many people involved in Oneness Pentecostal churches who are yet unaware of how things were different in the earlier days of their movement. There wasn’t the same emphasis on outward standards and there were differences in beliefs concerning when a person was saved. Goss himself believed that both Trinitarians and Oneness believers were saved and believed that water baptism was performed after a person was saved.

In regard to outward standards, below is what Mrs. Goss wrote on page 69 (of the revised version) and page 38 (of the original version):

We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day…silks…satins…jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.

It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.

Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us.

Galatians 2:4 came to mind as I posted this quote. While it may not fully fit, to me it does at least in part: “But it was because of the false brethren secretly brought in, who had sneaked in to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, in order to bring us into bondage.” (NASB) Could it be that a reason why so many today are now overly concerned with the outward is because they may not be “so taken up with the Lord”?

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Locks Of Love Hair Donation

There may be some reading here who have left a church that teaches women are never to cut their hair, and who are thinking of getting their hair cut as they no longer believe the doctrine. You may want to consider donating your cut hair to Locks of Love, an organization that makes hairpieces for children. The link below takes you to their hair donation page. They do have some rules as to what they can accept.

https://locksoflove.org/forms/hair-donation-form/

Discussion on David Bernard’s Book: The Oneness of God

Just over an hour in length, in this video former Oneness Pentecostal & valedictorian of the United Pentecostal Church’s Texas Bible College, Mark McNeil discusses The Oneness of God, written by David K. Bernard, UPC General Superintendent.