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Author: Lois
I was a member of the United Pentecostal Church for just under 13 years and was a licensed minister during a short part of that time. I am the owner of the SpiritualAbuse.org website, which was started four years after leaving. I am originally from southern New Jersey.
In November 2017, the blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 9437 visits, with 5067 being unique.
We are always looking for new people to join our group of bloggers, so please consider registering and watch your email for more information. How frequently you post is up to you. Let your voice be heard and help others recover. You may find healing for yourself as well. Read here for more information.
Commenting directly on the blog is an encouragement to our authors as they often cannot see all the places where these are shared and discussed on social media.
Below are the top ten read posts for November from six different authors.
There is a partially false story being rapidly spread on Facebook (and probably elsewhere) that a woman aboard a flight to Jamaica saved the plane from crashing by being ‘in the Spirit’ before take-off. The plane was at Owen Roberts International Airport in the Cayman Islands. While the woman caused a disturbance by jumping around, clapping and yelling ‘Jesus’ in the aisle, the part about there being a major problem with the plane that would have caused it to crash is untrue.
Here is what is being shared, taken from a post made on November 25 by a female pastor who is touted as an apostle, prophet, and prophetic voice: “A woman got in the spirit of the Holy Ghost this morning when she boarded a flight to Jamaica causing the flight to be delayed for 2hrs. They had to remove her from the plane. Soon after, the Airport authorities realised that something was gravely wrong with the plane engine & that if they had taken off 2 hours earlier, the plane would definitely have crashed!!! Thank you Lord! The lives of your children are precious to you & you know when their work on earth is done. God saved all the passengers and crew, because of the obedience of one woman! HALLELUJAH! OUR GOD is truly the Chief Pilot of our lives!” (Note: The video itself initially was shared on the day of the event as can be seen here (this has since been removed). The inaccurate portrayal of events goes back to October when people started saying things like, “This Lady was in spirit on the plane to Jamaica and because of the delay they found that there was a problem with one of the engines.”)
A few days later the story grew to an even taller tale when one man wrote (this has since been removed) in part, “This woman felt the Holy Spirit just before a plane flight to Jamaica yesterday. She told them God informed her that the flight would go down. It took a while to get things situated and eventually throw her off the plane, so the flight was delayed for 2hrs. Soon after, the Airport authorities realized that something was gravely wrong with the plane engine. If they had taken off 2 hours earlier, the plane would definitely have crashed!!!”
On the date of the incident, Caymanmarload.com wrote about it. They stated that, “Apparently something happened with the one of the engines and after taxing off and they had to return to the gate” and said that a passenger stated a man started praying, which seemed to prompt the actions of the woman in question. That is when she got out of her seat and was jumping and shouting. Their website is the only one where I found the mention of engine trouble or that the plane had taxied out and then returned to the gate. I have never been able to verify there was any engine trouble.
The official statement from Cayman Airways was that the video of the incident which had been circulated did happen on flight KX-620 on October 23, 2017. In their statement, there is no mention of any major malfunction with the plane and certainly not that the woman’s actions caused them to discover it or that the plane would have crashed. Here is part of what they said: “The aircraft was at the gate with passengers boarded, but with the main cabin door still open while a minor maintenance issue was being resolved before departure. Shortly after the Captain announced that the maintenance work was completed and that the aircraft would soon be on its way, a female passenger left her seat and began shouting and jumping as can be seen in the video.” There was only a delay of an hour and 13 minutes as the woman was removed from the plane and her luggage retrieved.
So there are only three basic statements from the November 25th post which are accurate:
1) it was a morning flight to Jamaica
2) the woman was removed from the plane
3) the woman ‘got in the spirit’ (which I won’t attempt to address in this article)
It is NOT true that:
1) the woman’s actions caused them to discover a problem with the plane
2) there was a two hour delay
2) there was something gravely wrong with the engine
3) the plane would have crashed
4) the woman’s actions saved the lives of the people on board
It is so important to fact check stories before spreading them across social media and elsewhere. One should not embellish a story, especially not in order to promote or prove their beliefs. Doing so causes others to shake their head in disbelief as thousands of people rapidly share a false story that could have been easily fact checked in a few minutes time.
You may use this if you see this story being spread.
What is even more problematic is when people are shown the report is untrue and they attempt to discredit the airline’s statement, insinuating or outright stating that they wouldn’t tell the truth. Please look at the facts and use discernment. There was only a 73 minute delay in the flight and some of that was taken in evicting the woman from the plane and retrieving her luggage. Had there been a major problem with the engine, enough that it would have crashed, is it reasonable to believe that it could be repaired in just over one hour or that they would have taken the chance on using the plane after such a discovery?
In the short time it took me to write this, the post I linked to was shared an additional 2,068 times. Most of the comments are praising and believing the report. As of my update to this article on November 29, it had almost two million views, was shared 50,412 times and commented on by 25,000 people. Added July 13, 2018: For some reason in July 2018, the story went viral again. People had never stopped commenting, liking and sharing what was posted by the above mentioned female pastor. As of this update, the post has been viewed 7.2 million times, liked by 123,000, commented on 68,000 times and shared 137,176 times. It is quite disheartening to see so many Christians sharing this tale and never once questioning its veracity or checking first to see if it happened as stated and then berating people who question it. Within twelve hours of this update, it had been viewed another .6 million times, commented on 6,000 more times and shared another 13,000 times. That people are so quick to believe and pass on this report is sad.
December 1, 2017 Update: Cayman Marl Road reported on October 27, “Our sources have informed us that as of yesterday the passenger, identified as Ms. Barbara Cecile Bryan, remains on islands. Apparently she was removed from the flight that day and had her ticket cancelled for travel for the following morning. We understand that Cayman Airways/CIAA are in talks as to whether or not she should be banned from traveling on the airline and for how long.” If the name is accurate, she was granted Caymanian status on December 31, 2003 according to an official report.
On their Facebook page, they reported on October 25 that this woman had been hospitalized in the mental health ward after being removed from the flight. Another person shared that the woman “was out in the street where she was staying doing the same thing two days before boarding the plane.” Yet another commented, “Sadly, there were Haitians on that flight who are heading home via Jamaica after being here for almost 3 months. Recovering Open heart surgery patients who became very scared. Their translator who is also a born again Christian said he’d never seen anything like this before and they are all relieved the lady was removed from the flight.” In a separate Facebook discussion, (this has since been removed) one woman claiming to have been on the flight shared similar thoughts, “i was on the flight sitting across from her it was scary for my kids too.”
On November 29, buried amidst hundreds of comments on another Facebook post (this has since been removed) that was spreading this false report, a woman named Lori made the following comment that was ignored by others praising the story, “I was the flight attendant on that flight and your information is wrong. We had discovered a minor mechanical issue before this happened and went back to the gate to have it corrected. We were about to close the door when this occurred. She was removed and we departed safely to Kingston. I repeat this happened AFTER the problem was corrected.”
In October 2017, the blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 10,448 visits, with 5496 being unique.
We are always looking for new people to join our group of bloggers, so please consider registering and watch your email for more information. How frequently you post is up to you. Let your voice be heard and help others recover. You may find healing for yourself as well.
Commenting directly on the blog is an encouragement to our authors as they often cannot see all the places where these are shared and discussed on social media.
Below are the top ten read posts for October from seven different authors.
One of our readers, D.M., submitted this article and they wish to remain anonymous.
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With the “me too” campaign being highlighted on social media recently, I decided it’s time to stop the code of silence on this issue.
I just finished reading Daughter of Gloriavale and I was reminded that Christian cults are similar once you examine their conduct and core values:
(I speak from experience)
1. They have been exclusively chosen by God for a very important purpose.
2. They have more insight / revelation than other churches.
3. They have a strong leader who is to be obeyed and honoured and never to be questioned.
4. The leader claims to hear from God on behalf of the group.
5. Adherents are told to be “under the covering” or “submissive” to the leaders.
6. People who are seen to be “rebellious” or “independent” are disciplined, shunned or expelled.
7. There is a “group think” mentality and individual opinions are seen as causing disunity.
8. Any one opposing them is opposing God himself and are doing damage to the church.
9. People are categorised according to the level of commitment and money giving.
10. No such thing as confidentiality. Personal information is shared and interwoven into sermons.
11. People dobb other people to the leadership.
12. Leadership controls the relationships and tell people who that can and cannot associate with.
13. Sermons (or more like brainwashing sessions) and ministry sessions are designed to make people codependent on their leaders.
14. People are constantly told through the preaching that they are flawed. No one is ever good enough (except the leaders of course).
15. There’s little understanding of Gods grace and Christian values of love and compassion etc.
16. They have their own language and use terms and phrases exclusive to their group.
17. They do not utilise services outside their own flock (counsellors, psychologists etc.)
18. The leaders say horrible things about people who have left (eg: they are going to hell, or they have mental health issues etc.)
19. They take single Bible verses and use them out of context and create rules around them.
20. Leaving is traumatic because the people had become like an extended family. Suddenly they become aloof and a smear campaign is launched to tarnish that persons reputation.
21. Discipline and rebuke are widely practiced often during sessions where the leader acts in an intimidating manner.
22. There are codes of conduct and unwritten rules that you need to adhere to in order to become in the “in group.”
And that’s just the beginning.
There’s brainwashing, love-bombing, the judging, manipulation, control, and so many meetings and expectations to be heavily involved in programs, outreach and serving.
But just like other forms of abuse, we need to address it! Gone are the days when we brush this abuse under the carpet. We must talk about it!
Best advice I ever got was “head for the hills and don’t look back.”
There are other options. There are safe Christian groups and people to interact with who hold the Christian faith dear to their hearts without all the soul destroying practices of these cults. And there is also the option of having a break from the whole church scene altogether. Getting to know God for oneself without a mediator is very freeing. Remember it’s your life. Make choices that bring peace, joy and happiness.
I encourage the essence of the true Christian faith, and the values which Jesus Christ demonstrated when he came to earth. He mixed with the lowly, had compassion on the poor, had meals with some interesting people- but most of all He loved.
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Someone had posted their thoughts elsewhere and I obtained permission to share them here with our readers. It is our hope that it will be encouraging to people. Directly below is the post and afterward I will add a few comments.
*****All these memes and movies about how great starting over is really frustrate me. I woke up to a song about starting over running through my head. Just need to vent.
There are countless reasons why I didn’t leave my unhealthy, toxic environment. But here are a few.
1. When I complained or sought redress, I felt heard (some narcissists are good at doing this), but then nothing would change, and I would figure, it would take time.
2. I didn’t want to leave and START ALL OVER. I don’t make friends easily, never have. I have a hard time initiating communication and spending time with people. Because of rejection from my siblings and their friends, and neglect and feeling unwanted by my folks (at times-though my dad probably was never comfortable with me) I always feel like a burden to ASK for people’s time. I also worried that if I went to another church all my efforts and contributions (unrecognized and unappreciated) would have been for nothing.
3. I constantly asked God for permission to leave. I either heard NO or I heard nothing. I see now that opportunities were placed in my path, but hearing a ‘yes’ would really have made a huge difference. Why I felt I heard NO, I have no idea, but silence…is one of the reasons I’m still so incredibly angry at him. I finally left because I just didn’t give a shit whether he said yes or no. I literally couldn’t do it anymore. I also was realizing over time that we as Christians have gotten entirely too hung up on ‘THE WILL OF GOD’. It’s a very nice excuse too, we pray and pray and pray seeking the Will of God as though it were a 4th member of the trinity (not my idea, but true). God gave us a will and we’re allowed to use it. I think he even wants us to use it. I sure could have used that information about a decade earlier, but we certainly didn’t believe that at my church. I finally exercised my will, just a little too late. And again, it was more about being too exhausted to stay than choosing to go somewhere else – which I have not and will not for some time to come.
But I realize I do have to start over. I’m isolated, and I self-medicate with TV and video games because it’s easier than starting over, rebuilding takes a lot of energy. Being social takes a lot of emotional energy for me. Putting myself out there is the same. I do it for my business because I have to, and it brings dividends, but stepping out further and putting me personally out there is even more vulnerable.
And part of me worries that I’ll end up doing all this over again. Build up years worth of ‘friendships’ only to see them betray me too.
But I’m further along than I was before, and the fact that I’m even thinking about starting over is a good sign. And frankly, I run into unbelievers and other believers who see more value in me than anyone ever did in my old church (it was my business networking group that first helped me see that people who barely knew me were valuing/seeing me for who I was more than the folks who were my ‘friends’). So progress is there, it’s just not exactly fun or exciting or glamorous. Starting over sucks. But I know I’m better off, I just wish I had gotten a clue sooner, before my faith and hope were trashed.*****
My brief thoughts:
#1: There have been pastors who have told people that things will change, while they drag the person along and there is no change or very little of it or it’s not the type of change the person wanted to see. Unhealthy churches don’t often change to a solid healthy one. But encouraging the person to remain with empty promises continues the cash flow, the free help, and the keeps the church numbers up.
#3: I’d like to know where the notion of being required to pray and hear from God about remaining at a church started. I don’t see anything of this nature in the New Testament. I believe the ‘no’ answer one thinks they feel often comes from all the messages people have heard over the years- that this church has something special/are the only ones with truth/you must stay where you were planted/you must obey the pastor/you must have a covering and on and on.
We wouldn’t do this in many other circumstances. For instance, if you saw someone being injured, you wouldn’t pray first about whether or not you should help somehow, like calling 911. If your boss was mistreating and lying to you, you most likely wouldn’t seek God’s permission to look for a new job. If a company ripped you off in work they did, would you seek God’s permission to file a BBB complaint, file a suit in small claims court, hire a lawyer, or confront the company and demand they make it right? So why do we hold to this notion that we must obtain God’s permission, or somehow hear from him directly, before making a decision to leave an unhealthy, abusive church?
I really like how this person ended after the numbered items. We need hope and encouragement in our journey of recovery and healing. He did just that for himself and for others. I truly wish that I could tell people that it will take x amount of time and everything will be fine. I wish I could tell people, do this, this and that and it will all be over. But when, even though you are hurting and wrestling with various emotions and feelings, you can see light at the end of the tunnel and make progress- that is a good focus and something for you to hold on to for any future times when you may become discouraged.
Some people make light of the experiences of those who have exited bad churches. They think people are whining and need to get over it and move on. They haven’t a clue how complex recovery can be. When one is taught things which distort their perception of God, when they are taught twisted and legalistic doctrines, when one’s self-worth has been beaten down and shattered time and again, you do not just ‘move on’. It takes time and a lot of work to heal and recover. And despite what this man has been through, and though he is battling deep emotions and anger, he is making steps of progress and sees some light ahead.
May he be healed in his innermost being and may all who have suffered in spiritually abusive churches receive healing and deliverance.
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In the short time it took me to write this, the post I linked to was shared an additional 2,068 times. Most of the comments are praising and believing the report. As of my update to this article on November 29, it had almost two million views, was shared 50,412 times and commented on by 25,000 people. 
Added July 13, 2018: For some reason in July 2018, the story went viral again. People had never stopped commenting, liking and sharing what was posted by the above mentioned female pastor. As of this update, the post has been viewed 7.2 million times, liked by 123,000, commented on 68,000 times and shared 137,176 times. It is quite disheartening to see so many Christians sharing this tale and never once questioning its veracity or checking first to see if it happened as stated and then berating people who question it. Within twelve hours of this update, it had been viewed another .6 million times, commented on 6,000 more times and shared another 13,000 times. That people are so quick to believe and pass on this report is sad. 
