Author: Lois | Page 30 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

A Dark Place After Spiritual Abuse

The following was taken from an older conversation in one of our private support groups. The initial post, along with the responses, have been shared with permission. The initial post and a follow-up are between the asterisks, followed by responses. Names have been omitted. Responses that were longer have been placed in quotes. I have added my own brief thoughts at the end.

There are those who don’t believe there is such a thing as spiritual abuse and some ridicule the thought, thinking it is about things like people being upset over not being allowed to hold some position or that they didn’t like a decision made by a pastor. Some feel people are simply bitter and just need to ‘get over it’ and move on. These individuals are clueless and ignorant as to the types of damage that being in an unhealthy church can cause. One of the most difficult things some grapple with is their trust and belief in God. Pastors, the very ones who should be encouraging and helping people in their relationship with God, have instead helped to destroy the faith of some and caused others to question it. Listen to ‘J’ as he shares the pain and aftermath of dealing with his unhealthy church experience.

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Possible trigger warning, I have been in a dark place recently but this week it has sort of come to a head.

Today in church, part of the sermon touched on Deuteronomy 31:6, about not being afraid because “he will never leave you or forsake you.”

However, inside a deep pit of empty despair formed because, simply put, that was not true. Having done my absolute best to follow him led me to years of abuse, loneliness, virtual slavery. All I can see there was that I was abandoned. I was in a place where I was abused and demeaned in his name, and was not helped. How can I count on him if I was torn apart in his name and was not helped? How can I trust when three years later things that were stolen in his name are not yet restored? How can I trust him ever again when I was abandoned? How can I trust when I see promises in his word turned on their head, when the exact opposite of what was promised occurs? Trust him to do what, exactly? He claims to be closer than a brother but I don’t ever even hear or feel him. I don’t see him doing anything that would merit trust. How can I claim relationship with someone who never even bothers to show up, especially when the one they claim to love is so utterly screwed over?

I tried to talk to someone I trust about this, how I feel and what I think and observe. Instead, I got met with a combination of fear and disdain. “How could you think like that?!” Even getting angry that I would not unquestioningly obey if God asked me to do it. I would in fact question.

I don’t see a reason to trust. Instead, I see promises that are empty; I see a past where I was left alone in the darkness.

…One of the hard points in all of this is, there is nothing I can truly point to and say “God absolutely did this.”

I came to my senses in the cult when the leaders royally screwed up and got a number of us wondering. It was us, together, who decided they were full of it, and us together who protected one another as we left. So by us supporting each other, and the leaders being way to ham-fisted for their own good is what sparked that.

In that, and in other things, I see other people helping me. I see lessons that I learned and applied to get me to better places. I don’t see supernatural help.

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Below are some of the responses to J.

L: All I can say is I know how you feel. I have had all the same questions and feelings. After many years, I was able to look back and I was actually able to see Him during those times. It was still hard to trust because I was thinking “Well, so You were there. But I didn’t feel You there. And that will probably happen again before my life is over. Fat lot of good it will do.” But then I had to weigh trusting vs not trusting and I felt trusting was better. It was healing. And freeing. I’m still on the journey. Jesus also felt forsaken when He said “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me.” I think God understands all these things. I think He understands all your feelings and I think He accepts them. I think part of the journey is embracing that it’s okay to feel like you do and you have a legitimate reason for feeling all of it. Here a hug and a pat on the back. You’re okay.

M: You’re describing a place that is very familiar to me, too, and that I don’t know what to do with either. I’ve gotten to a point where people’s reactions, either the one you describe or the prideful, “not Me! *I’ve* never been *there*. God is sooo good!” are both based in fear- either fear that it could happen to them or fear because they don’t want to admit that it has, even to themselves.

J: Yeah, I can see that fear. I don’t want to spark fear in others, but I DO want others to understand that it is not all sunshine and roses.

K: J, I feel the exact same way. I have lost my trust in God to protect or be with me and I am hanging onto a tiny bit of faith by a fraying thread. I prayed so many, many times at my old church for God to intervene or show me if I should leave the church, if what they were teaching was wrong. Instead, all I ever experienced was being told to submit, to trust the pastor’s discernment and not my own, and the threat that I would risk God’s judgment if I left. So much mental and spiritual abuse happened. I feel very betrayed. If my child asked me to intervene while she was being abused or led astray, I would. Why didn’t He?

I also question God’s protection and goodness after watching several wonderful people die horrible deaths, including a little 11-year-old girl. That girl was my daughter’s best friend and it crushed my daughter when she died. Her innocent faith was crushed when God did not answer her prayers to heal her friend. She was convinced He would. If I could heal someone that was dying, I would. Why didn’t he?

People credit God when someone is healed or avoids a tragedy. But according to that logic, wouldn’t that also mean we should credit Him when someone is not healed, when a family drowns in a hurricane, or when someone dies in a crash? If I had the power to prevent these tragedies, I would. Why didn’t He?

I have very rarely shared these doubts because almost everyone would chastise me. But they are not going away and I can’t get by with platitudes like “God’s ways are not our ways”, or “God uses all things for our good” or “Praise God anyway.” Platitudes do not help when the One who could have intervened, protected and healed people chose not to do so.

You are not alone with your doubts and hurts and it is OK to acknowledge them. Please keep talking here without fear of judgment.

J: I hear you. It frustrates me to no end when people say God took away their headache when they prayed (or something like that), yet others go through horrendous fates praying desperately for the help the bible promises yet are left alone.

J (written several weeks later): This hasn’t gone away. In fact, it gets worse as more and more things go badly and as no evidence of help comes forth. I honestly don’t see my prayers having any impact. My fear isn’t that there is no god. My fear is that he is malevolent, or at least indifferent.

K: I hear you and I empathize with you. I feel ripped up inside because I have these same thoughts and feelings. I am sorry you are experiencing the same.

M: I can’t think that if there is a God he would be malevolent. He may view things very differently than we do, he may not be as actively involved in ways that we were taught, but that wouldn’t make him malevolent. I’m not sure it would even make him indifferent, just with a very, very different perspective than we have.

I wonder if there is a God, why God would allow things he does, how to protect myself from this upside down, crazy life if there isn’t a God who will protect me. I’ve struggled with this for 17 years. I prayed and begged God in 2000 not to let me be thrown out of a church because the pastor falsely accused me of lusting after the pastor. Fasted for days. Did everything I could to repent of things I’d never done. And I found another church and ran to it. And at that church the pastor’s wife was in an accident. The pastor started inviting young women to his house to visit his wife, who was bedridden. The men would lay hands on me. I was so freaked out, so terrified that I would be falsely accused again. And I was trying to hide what had happened from my parents and others, trying to keep a ‘good witness’. So I moved to the next state and went back to college. I spent thousands before discovering that I couldn’t get the certificate I wanted without quitting work and going to school full time. So I dropped out. I hoped that at the church I was in at the time that I would finally get married, that I’d finally have the respect of the pastor, that I’d have a church. The pastor died. People in the church picked at me. A man stalked me. The new pastor was cruel. And I stayed, still hoping.

So I get it. Way too well. If those things hadn’t happened I would still be attending a UPC, blissfully ignorant of how far from faith in God I actually was, holding on to terribly false ideas about God and about what faith in him looked like. I was begging God to let me stay but was to the point that I was taking risks with the thought that maybe I’d just die and get out of the situation.

God didn’t answer my prayers. But in a weird way he did. Not that I can trust him yet. It’s frightening to trust an all powerful being who not only doesn’t do what you ask, but is so unpredictable that he doesn’t even do what you think he wants done, doesn’t even help you to do what you think he’s commanded. And it’s terrifying to think that we’re in his hands. It’s easier to think maybe he’s indifferent or even nonexistent than all that. It sure seems like it would be a safer, more sensible world at times. And yet I know that through all of it, better things happened by far than what I begged for — I got out. I left and I’m glad of it, and without dying to be rid of them.

It’s a slow, slow process. Friends like the one you mentioned don’t help. They just make me mad.

I picked up a book at Goodwill tonight. Not my typical read. It’s titled No One Cries the Wrong Way. It’s about grief, and the title itself is comforting somehow.

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It is impossible to know how much damage has been caused at spiritually abusive churches led by unhealthy pastors and other leaders. Thousands upon thousands of people have been harmed and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Some have great difficulty separating the distorted view of God instilled in them by these churches and what the Bible shows. As they try to recover and heal from their experiences, they may still view things through their former church teachings. There are things each of us have been taught that are not found within the Bible. Expecting that God will keep all believers from harm is one of those.

As to the question of ‘why does God allow this or that to happen,’ I liked how they touched on this in the movie, Love Comes Softly.

One of the central characters is a man who lost his wife and he is raising his young daughter. He made an arrangement with a woman whose husband died and they had a marriage of convenience. He needed someone to help him raise his daughter and she needed a place to stay for the winter until she could catch a wagon to take her home to the East. The scene I am quoting from happens after the man’s barn burns down.

The woman he has married asks him if he prayed for these bad things to happen and says, “I just don’t understand why the God that you pray to would let such unthinkable things happen to decent people.”

He replied, “Missy (his daughter) could fall down and hurt herself even if I’m walking right there beside her. That doesn’t mean that I allowed it to happen. She knows her father’s unconditional love. I’ll pick her up and I’ll carry her. I’ll try to heal her. I’ll cry when she cries. And I’ll rejoice when she is well. You know all the moments of my life, God has been right there beside me. The truth of God’s love is not that he allows bad things to happen, but it’s His promise that He’ll be there with us when they do.”

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One Victim’s Voice Brought Down a UPC Pedophile

Part twelve of a series of articles on the United Pentecostal Church and sex abuse.

In doing recent investigation on sexual abuse cases for this series of articles, I am reminded of an especially sick case involving a former United Pentecostal Church pastor in Alabama, Mack Charles Andrews. He was licensed from 1987 though 2000 and during that time was pastor of a UPC church in Thomasville. For some of this time he also held the position of Conqueror’s Secretary of the Alabama District. In 2013 he was arrested on multiple counts of rape, sodomy and sexual torture involving four children during the 1980s and 1990s at the church and its school, Faith Christian Academy. In addition, there were also victims whose cases were not included in the criminal counts against him, some who were willing to testify. On the day his trial was to start, he plead guilty and under the plea agreement was sentenced to only 15 years in prison.

At one point in 2015, an investigator had spoken to eleven victims and believed there were more. Some of the victims hired attorneys in an effort to keep him from speaking with them. There were church members who were still supportive of Andrews, some not even seeming to consider the possibility of his guilt. Investigator David Conner was quoted as saying, “I’ve had members of the church try to bail him out of jail. Some wouldn’t even entertain the thought that he might have done it. He is a master of manipulating people and, for lack of a better word, brain-washing them. …The hold he has on the community is still evident.”

This mindset sounds similar to what I have been hearing about a UPC church in Colorado, where there are allegations that the pastor failed to report several cases of sexual abuse. Many people there, both former and current members, have witnessed incidents that were not right and have knowledge that things were not reported to police which should have been. Many yet have a fear of this pastor and his family and it has been alleged they have threatened to sue people with whom they are unhappy or have tossed out of the church. While such a fear remains and people do not speak out and come forward, it leaves the door open for similar to continue.

The people of his old church congregation have all turned against me. In there blindness of the Truth they blame it on me because I came forth finally and told the truth. I haven’t been a member of his church in 20 years. But, until the point of me telling the police my story I still considered some of them friends. I know better now. It’s funny to me how people who so radically claim their salvation have shown no love of Christ to me or any other victims in this case. The really wild thing is some of those congregants are actually victims themselves. Yet, their rage against me is strong and venomous. – Donna ‘Shay’ Smith, survivor of childhood sexual abuse

In the Andrews case, it took just one woman coming forward who was victimized from age seven through twelve. Because she went to police and shared the names of others she knew who had been abused, it enabled the police to dig into his history and find many of the victims, some of whom had kept it all inside. It put a pedophile in jail where there is no chance of him hurting other children while he serves his sentence. When he gets released, he will have to register as a sex offender, alerting the community that children are not safe around him. It brought some sense of justice to the survivors.

Had Donna ‘Shay’ Smith remained silent, this would not have happened and he would be at liberty to continue to bring untold devastation to the lives of others. Often times all it takes is for one person to be willing to come forward and tell their story. We have seen that recently with Debbie in Wisconsin, where once she started openly writing about her childhood sexual abuse by Steven J. Dahl, several other women from the very same church contacted her. If you are a survivor of sexual abuse, you do have a voice and you can make a difference. Your voice could be the one that helps prevent another child or adult from becoming a victim.

UPDATE May 20-26, 2021: Unfortunately in May 2021 Mack Charles Andrews was released from prison early. Shay shares her thoughts on this in the following video. See also this May 21, 2021 article from AL.com about his release as well as Newsweek’s May 21 article. On May 24 the NY Post released an article and on May 25, WFLA covered the story. His name also now shows in the sex offender registry.

Investigator David Connor shares his thoughts on Mack Charles Andrews in the following video.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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Enabling Environments in UPC Youth Groups

Part eleven of a series of articles.

This addresses the co-mingling of those underage with ones in their twenties and thirties in some churches. Years back, the Youth Division of the UPCI was called Pentecostal Conquerors. (2024: The original linked to video was later made private and I have replaced it with a different one.) The national leader could be as old as 39, while district officers could be 35. Their churches allowed those from 12 to 35 to take part together in various activities.

I feel that encouraging those in their twenties and thirties to hang with pre-teens and young teenagers has opened the door for grooming and sexual assaults of minors to occur. Debbie has shared that the church in Madison didn’t seem to think there was anything inappropriate or potentially troublesome with people much older hanging around with those quite younger. Debbie was groomed and repeatedly assaulted from age eleven to twelve by a man who was old enough to be her father. The church didn’t blink, even when he took her on day long work trips.

The following article is what one person has observed in this environment and was written by a woman who wishes to remain anonymous.

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I came into the UPC at 26 years of age. I had been out of church for about ten years, living a very worldly life, even by most liberal church’s standards. I look back now and count this life experience as a blessing, as I could see warning flags where many of the young people in the United Pentecostal Church could not. I had grown up in pretty average churches, and I had adored youth group in high school. I was used to youth group being for kids grades 8-12, with possibly a handful of older “young people” volunteering as leaders. Usually these leaders were part of the C&C (College and Career), they weren’t any older than early 20s, and they were Godly examples, leading solid, mature spiritual lives.

I was delighted when I was “invited” to attend my new church’s Hyphen group! I do recall wondering why it took them several months to ask me to attend, and why it wasn’t just published on their website or ever announced. I would have thought they would want everyone even visiting to know about it. I remember also being flattered they thought I was so young, and then surprised when they said it was for ages 18-35. I had thought that was quite a spread of ages. I look back now and I guess they didn’t want to advertise it at that age spread as it might have not looked so good on paper, and it would have held them more responsible for some of the things that did go on in regards to Hyphen and youth.

The first evening I showed up for the group, we had planned to play basketball and then have a short Bible study. I was still quite new, so I couldn’t figure out why the only other two girls to show up both wore skirts to play basketball. The group was mainly guys, mostly in their mid 20s. The other two girls didn’t really play ball, largely because of their apparel. In the subsequent weeks, the other two girls didn’t attend often. They both had rotating shift work and they also said it wasn’t fun if all the girls weren’t able to attend. I soon learned the holiness standards and started to see a real issue with attending these athletic evenings, as if I dressed how they preached, I would struggle to play things like basketball or soccer while remaining modest and keeping my skirt from getting pulled, twisted or flipped up. If I didn’t play, chances are I would be sitting on the sidelines alone as the other two girls weren’t often there. If I dressed to play sports, then I would look backslidden. I settled into a routine with the church where I spent my time with the older women and skipped Hyphen. Hyphen became an all boys club for a time.

The church had a small youth group but it was growing. The youth pastor was one of the guys in the Hyphen group. He usually used a couple of the other guys from the group as leaders. Because Hyphen was a small group, he regularly would combine the Hyphen/Youth activity so he only had to lead one group that week. Hyphen was still all male at that point in time, while youth was primarily female, with girls ranging from 12-17. One of those girls ended up marrying the youth pastor, as soon as she graduated from high school at 18. He was about ten years her senior and had known her since she was ten or eleven. I was around his age at the time and remember finding it kind of gross to think he watched her grow up and married her as soon as it could sort of be considered socially acceptable. I wondered if he just suddenly found an interest in her, or if he had been perving on her when she was 14 or 16, while he was her youth pastor. Another girl, same age, and the same year, also married that summer out of high school to a man from another church who was also in his mid to late 20s. I thought they must be anomalies at the time. Later I realized this was the norm.

Around that point in time, there was a number of new people to the church and the pastor couldn’t keep up on all the Bible studies and discipleship classes he had on the go. He sent one of his more difficult students to the youth pastor to mentor. I knew this 53 year old man from outside of the church. He had been a member of our local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous for some time. He had been able to maintain sobriety from both drugs and alcohol, but he had a lot of mental health, and emotional issues.

He would argue with everything the pastor said, and he had a real hang up on what the Bible said about sex. He would argue with our pastor about God not actually expecting abstinence, he refusal to live chaste, and he had strong opinions on a myriad of other male topics in regards to sex. He had been my house mate at one point when I wasn’t attending the UPC church, and I had the misfortune of finding his adult magazines lying around the house, as well as literally walking in on him in the living room with his pants down. I knew he had a real problem in this area. In fact, all the women in AA knew he had a problem in this area. He was very friendly and overbearing with all ages of women in AA and he would harass and show up in the same places as the women he was interested in at the time. I was glad to hear he was so open with the pastor about his feelings in this area, as he really needed a Godly man to hash these things out with, and not the poor women in AA.

After the pastor passed along this man to the youth pastor to mentor, this man was nearly inseparable from the youth pastor. They hung out several nights a week. They hung out at church. Where one was, the other one was. I remember thinking it was odd that a 28 year old life time Christian man, and a virgin, would have much in common with this 53 year old man who wasn’t overly committed to a Christian walk and who had such an obsession with sex. I was uncomfortable when this man started attending Hyphen. It was one more reason I didn’t want to attend. I was horrified when I found how he was attending Hyphen/Youth. Why would a 53 year old man want to hang around with teens and twenty somethings? Why would he want to be around underage girls?!?! Why was anyone letting him be around under age girls!?!?

This guy had a reputation for being very pushy and not respecting boundaries with women his own age. He also had a bad temper. He got into a fight with one of my close friends because she turned him down. He told her all the reasons he was better than the men she had been dating and why she HAD to date him. He bullied her and yelled at her and wouldn’t leave her alone. She was a very strong woman, but I knew many women would have caved and gone out with him just to settle him down. And they were allowing him around very young, vulnerable women? What if he decided he was the best dating choice for one of the 18, 19, or even 22 year old women? I knew the pastor wouldn’t listen to me if I said anything though, so I fretted in silence.

A new, young girl, started attending the youth group. She was 15. She came from a pretty broken home. She had actually been invited to the youth group in the most ingenious of ways. She had developed a pretty serious crush on one of her classmates, who happened to be a young boy from our church. She was following him around school and giving him gifts and notes. He went to his mother, looking for advice as he wasn’t interested in this worldly girl with a reputation for partying.

The mom decided she found a witnessing opportunity. She started inviting the girl to their home for family dinner and then brought her to the youth group when she brought her three sons. The girl continued to crush on the boy, but she did it while hanging out with a group of Christian girls, learning about God. Eventually the girl became more independent of the boy’s mother and she started getting rides with other members of youth or Hyphen, and she also hung out with the group at non official gatherings at people’s homes or McDonalds.

I was so concerned to hear that the 53 year old man had become her regular ride. He didn’t work, and had no problem driving her from anywhere to anywhere as he appreciated the company and wasn’t doing anything anyways. She was starved for attention in life and she would go to anyone looking for attention, love, etc. She was so vulnerable as she told him about her drug experiments at parties. They could bond over their shared substance abuse stories. She confessed her confusion over an attraction to women to him and wanted to discuss what the Bible had to say. They could bond over their dislike for God’s plan for husband and wife. She discussed modesty as per how the UPC preached it. They could bond over their shared desire for women to wear what they wanted and the innocence in a little cleavage and leg. She had no curfew; he had no reason to be up early in the morning. They would end up in an after hours dinner having deep discussions late in to the night. The youth pastor knew, but if anything, I think he was just glad someone other than him was amusing this man on those nights.

Something I’ve learned in my own life. There are many male predators that don’t set out to be a predator. They just don’t have boundaries. A healthy, normal man of 53 years of age wouldn’t want to hang out with a bunch of young people because he doesn’t have anything in common with them. If he was a leader to them, he would maintain a certain distance as he is twice their age. A normal, healthy man of 53 years of age would not allow himself to get pulled into deep conversations with a 15 year old girl, because he would know its not appropriate and its not healthy for her. A man with boundaries, certainly wouldn’t start confiding in this 15 year old girl, while discussing the Bible and what it says about sex.

This man was one of those predators that didn’t set out to be a predator. I don’t know if anything ever happened with them, I would like to believe it didn’t. But they had both put themselves in a very precarious place. She was latching on to a daddy figure, but she was just a mixed up kid. He was allowing himself to get very emotionally involved with a minor. If she had made a pass at him, I truly believe he would have gone with it. The legal age of consent in our area is 14, and he would have deluded himself into believing it was ok since she was older than 14.

I look back at that group of kids now. The kids that came from church families have stayed in the church. The kids that were new have not stayed in the church. Facebook told me recently that a girl who had just entered youth when I was attending Hyphen, married one of those men from Hyphen as soon as she graduated at age 18. He was 30. He had known her since she was a preteen. She is now pregnant and will be giving birth at 19.
The church looks at the girls that left as backslidden and headed for hell.

Some of the girls are just wearing pants and make-up. One is living with her boyfriend. Another is in a lesbian relationship. Instagram has gotten at least one of those girls in trouble with her mom after photos of underage drinking came out. None of these girls have made terrible, life ending decisions. They are just going through some of the stages or rebellions of growing up. I look at the girl who is pregnant at 18. She is the only one of the group with a teenage pregnancy, even if she is married. She is still just a kid herself. These other girls living outside of the church haven’t made any decisions that will alter their lives in big ways. This girl soon will be responsible for another little life, while shackled to someone who has 12 years of adulting experience over her. I find it so sad.

These girls aren’t protected from being exploited and they aren’t allowed to be kids with other kids. They are put together with men twice their age, and are expected to be mature and pure, and would be held responsible if anything were to occur. In a church culture where the older men marry the young women after watching them grow up, no one is concerned in protecting these girls.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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To Survivors of Sexual Abuse in the UPCI

Part ten of a series of articles.

I have fought back tears while hearing reports of sexual abuse, some of it happening for years. It is sickening to discover how older men manipulated and molested young girls and boys. It is enraging to hear how certain pastors have systematically covered up and not reported such cases. Hearing that minors who were molested were blamed by pastors or church members disgusts me. Watching current United Pentecostal Church members and friends of the perpetrators and pastors attempt to re-victimize people, call them liars, blame them in some way and claim wrong motives for telling what happened is maddening. It is mind boggling to see former UPCI minister Todd Ritchie state there is nothing wrong with a pedophile being a pastor and claiming persecution of the perpetrator because a survivor is speaking out. It is all heartbreaking, it is repulsive, it is infuriating, I struggle to find words adequate to describe it….and I am not a victim but simply someone hearing what has happened.

There are pastors who have sat on their thrones and helped to devastate the lives of countless people by instructing parents to not go to police, not provide professional counseling to survivors and in some cases they have made them confess before the church, as if they had anything to do with their assault. Fearing for their spiritual welfare, there are church members who hold these men in esteem and will not speak of what they have seen and heard, thus allowing the criminal behavior to continue. Pastors have allowed perpetrators to continue molesting an untold number of people due to handling situations ‘in house’ and failing to report cases to the authorities. At least one has made it appear that they took cases to police when they did no such thing.

Pastors have either hidden sexual abuse or sent people away without informing church members of what happened, so parents don’t know to check if their child(ren) may have also been a victim. Pastors have allowed some to obtain a UPCI license after having committed such a crime, or to retain one.

It is unbelievable, inexcusable, and reprehensible how some United Pentecostal Church ministers have handled instances of sexual abuse and infidelity. They have not only brought shame upon themselves and their loved ones, but also upon the churches, the organization, and even Christianity itself. It is no wonder that some walk away from a belief in God. These men should not hold the office of a pastor, nor should they be licensed by anyone, nor should they hold any church leadership position or be preaching. Their actions have proven themselves untrustworthy and unfit.

Those who were sexually abused in these churches need to file a police report. The Special Victims Units handle such cases. If the crime happened in Madison, Wisconsin, for example, the SVU has six detectives on staff or if it happened in Denver, the Major Crimes Division would investigate. Don’t be concerned with how long ago it occurred or if there are witnesses or evidence. It isn’t solely about whether or not they can prosecute, but there are other factors to be considered.

There may be the possibility of a civil suit against the perpetrator or the pastor/church. There are cases that involve the repeated deliberate cover up of sexual abuse by pastors. There may be other churches that have done so but are not yet openly known as people have not come forward. Recent history has shown that all it sometimes takes is one person to come forward and report their abuse and it gives other survivors the impetus to do likewise. Many times a person feels they are alone when there are actually others. That is how Debbie felt when she came forward but found there were many more from Calvary Gospel Church. Yet no one will know and things may never change if people remain silent and do not come forward.

Each case has its own unique factors as well as statute of limitations and those vary from state to state. If people do not file reports, then there is nothing on record. There is no chance that the authorities will go after these perpetrators, pastors and churches. There is no chance of helping other unknown survivors, nor potential future ones should they decide to report. Each reported case helps- even if your individual case can no longer be prosecuted.

In addition, you will have the satisfaction of trying to do something to put a stop to what has happened and may still be happening. You have a voice. Who knows who you could help by filing a report. It may be just what another woman or man needs in order to go forward with their case. If there has ever been a time in our country where people are paying attention to what all too many people have endured with sexual abuse and how it has been mishandled in churches, it is NOW.

In addition to filing a police report, if it was a currently licensed minister who abused you, or covered up sexual abuse, the United Pentecostal Church has a judicial procedure where a complaint may be filed against that minister. I encourage any of our readers who have personal knowledge of such wrongdoings to learn about the judicial procedure and seriously consider filing an official complaint if the minister yet holds license, no matter how long ago something happened.

If a complaint is not filed, you can pretty much be guaranteed that the UPCI will not address the matter. If a complaint is filed, there’s a chance that some type of action will be taken, even if it falls below what you would want done. In other words, if you know of wrongdoing by a minister and you choose to not file an official complaint, do not expect to see any action taken against that minister.

In 2024 significant changes were made to this procedure and child sexual abuse complaints will now be handled differently than other complaints. Individual districts in the UPCI will no longer handle these. To learn all the details about the judicial procedure, go here.

Speak up- for yourself and for others. There is power in numbers- let your voice be heard. People may have been silent in your assault and there may have been little to no help and you may have been shamed. Yet you have a powerful voice which has yet to be heard and that may make it easier for another survivor and perhaps help them to receive justice in our legal system, even if you cannot. People are watching and listening.

Will your voice be among those that shatter the silence surrounding sexual abuse and the United Pentecostal Church?

March 20, 2024 Note: I added information about the UPCI’s judicial procedure and checked links.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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