Top August Posts

This is for those interested in seeing the top ten read blogs from August 2016. I didn’t start doing this until October, so I thought I would try and backtrack some.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 6943 visits, with 3505 being unique. At present, most of the referrals have still come from Facebook, Twitter and search engines. If some who have similar blogs or websites would be so kind as to link to us, it would help increase our exposure. Also, sharing the blogs and/or commenting on them are also helpful and encourage the authors.

Below are the top ten read posts for the month (excluding giveaway posts). Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

Tithing Food Stamp Money – author Lois.

Curse of the Cult – author Grace.

Making the Right Decision – author Mary.

Shame on You! -author Grace.

To my former church family – author Mary.

Faith, Hope, Love – author Nancy.

Leaving Church –  author Mary.

Spies – author Lois.

Choices – author Mary.

The End Was Only A New Beginning… – author John.

Top September Posts

This is for those interested in seeing the top ten read blogs from September 2016. I didn’t start doing this until October, so I thought I would try and backtrack some.

The blog section of the spiritual abuse website had 5066 visits, with 2317 being unique. At present, most of the referrals have still come from Facebook, Twitter and search engines. If some who have similar blogs or websites would be so kind as to link to us, it would help increase our exposure. Also, sharing the blogs and/or commenting on them are also helpful and encourage the authors.

Below are the top ten read posts for the month. Thanks so much to all our readers and authors!

She’s Got The Look (Of Salvation)  – author John.

Cultic Pseudo Personality – author ThereIsLife.

The Few, The Proud, The… – author Lois.

Religion or Christ? – author Nancy.

It Is The Pastors Who Must Give Account…Of Themselves! – author Lois.

#WhyILeft Fundamentalism, Part 3 – author Eleanor.

#WhyILeft Fundamentalism, Part 1 – author Eleanor.

Living for God should not be so hard – author RandomThoughts.

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #5: Don’t Listen To The Gossip – author Lois.

Leaving an Unhealthy Church #6: How You Are Treated – author Lois.

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #10: Sorting Through The Teachings

For those still trying to sort through the doctrines you were taught in an unhealthy church, here are some things to consider that should be helpful.

1) Keep the passage in its context. One can make it appear to seem like a passage is teaching something different when it is taken out of context or partially quoted. You need to read the surrounding verses, and sometimes chapters, and not just the proof-text given.

2) Beware of assigning a word an incorrect definition. Many in unhealthy churches assign words meanings which do not reflect their biblical meaning. If one doesn’t look further into this, they can be led to believe the Bible teaches something totally different than it does. Some words that readily come to mind from my old church organization are long, peculiar, shamefacedness and hallelujah (the latter probably only pertains to my former church). Nowadays it is very easy to look up the basics of the original Greek or Hebrew words used in the Bible. Your modern day dictionary is not what you should use.

3) Look at the overall picture. Discover what the ‘whole,’ or all, of the Bible teaches on a subject and not just a few passages. Unhealthy churches piece together passages to support some teachings. Yet if you study what the entire Bible says on the subject, you will find what they say really isn’t taught in scripture. You won’t find the doctrine being stated by the apostles or Jesus and you won’t find any examples of them doing (whatever) it is. Complete concordances are found in abundance to help you find every instance of a word in the Bible.

4) Interpret a difficult passage in light of those that are clearly understood. When one passage seems to not fit in with the rest of scripture on a subject, we need to interpret that passage in light of what is clear. The teachings aren’t going to contradict themselves. For instance, if there is one verse that on the surface could appear to say something is a matter of salvation, and yet that is never explicitly stated anywhere in the Bible, then you are probably understanding it incorrectly. It needs to be interpreted by the passages that are clearly understood.

5) Set aside preconceived ideas and take care to not read things into a text which are not stated. When we read the Bible, we should approach it in a way that God can speak to us through it. That’s hard to do if we are dead set in our minds that we know it all and that our interpretation must be 100% accurate. This is what causes many in Pentecostal churches, when they read in the Bible about the Holy Spirit, to automatically think ‘speaking in tongues‘ even if it is not in the text. Thus we read into scripture our thoughts or what we have heard taught in church and we aren’t going to learn that way. Don’t set about to prove what you believe is correct or to prove a doctrine to be false. Instead, approach your studies with wanting to know what the Bible teaches, regardless of what you think it does or doesn’t teach.

Leaving An Unhealthy Church #1: You and Those Who Remain
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #2: Anything You Say Can, And Will, Be Used Against You
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #3: Why It May Be Important To Resign Your Membership
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #4: Remaining in the Same Organization
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #5: Don’t Listen To The Gossip
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #6: How You Are Treated
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #7: It Happens To Ministers, Too
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #8: The Way Of The Transgressor Is Hard!
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #9: Some Must Return To Remember Why They Left
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #10: Sorting Through The Teachings
Leaving an Unhealthy Church #11: Confusion & Not Knowing Who or What to Believe
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #12: Can I Go To A Church Where I Don’t Agree With Everything?
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #13: A Warped View of God
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #14: Looking For A New Church Part 1
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #15: Looking For A New Church Part 2 (Leaving Your Comfort Zone)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #16: Looking For A New Church Part 3 (Triggers)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #17: Looking For A New Church Part 4 (Manifestations/Demonstrations)
Leaving An Unhealthy Church #18: Looking For A New Church Part 5 (Church Attendance: A Matter of Life or Death?)

Experiences Can Be Real, But….

Here is some food for thought to consider. If Paul taught in 1 Corinthians 14 that people would think believers were mad if they heard a bunch of speaking in tongues in a gathering, what would he say about the laughter and being slain that are seen in some churches? Speaking in tongues is biblical. What about these other ‘manifestations?’

When we go to the Bible we do not find these things there. Neither is taught, nor do we see evidence of either in the stories found in the Bible. This should be very telling.

What is accomplished when people laugh out of control, especially during preaching or teaching? It certainly is not edifying. In addition, Paul taught that the spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet. This means that as believers, we are in control of what we do and allow.

The passages used to support laughter and being slain are taken out of context and never show anything remotely similar to what goes on in churches today that teach and support these things. But because they happen in a church setting, many blindly accept it as being from God. In addition, some in ministry threaten people who would speak against such ‘moves.’ (For example, think Hinn and Hanegraaff.)

Experiences can be real, but real experiences don’t necessarily translate to being something God ordained.

Who Understands Us?

It’s tough on the outsider who has a loved one in an unhealthy church and has never been exposed to anything similar. They are not going to relate to much, if anything. Some of what they see or hear may seem absurd to them, that anyone could believe or do such things.

For the one on the outside, it’s important to not minimize anything you hear. You should educate yourself as to the beliefs and practices of the group. For instance, if your brother shared with you that he was concerned about his salvation because he disobeyed the pastor, should you burst out laughing, ridicule or make light of it….chances are he will think more than once before opening up to you again. There will be times where, being on the outside and not having a better understanding, that you need to take extra care in how you respond to a situation. Two articles which should give you some insight are We Are Spiritual Abuse Survivors and Help! My Family Member or Close Friend is Trapped in a High-Controlling Church or Cult.

It is also tough on the former or current member who is struggling with teachings. Besides the fact that many unhealthy churches do not encourage vocalizing questions pertaining to their teachings, there’s not a lot of Christians who can relate or understand what they may be encountering or going through. Try explaining to a woman attending a Methodist church, that you are concerned that as a woman, you may no longer be saved because you cut your hair. See how little she can relate. Sharing additional things, like your family may have lost protection because of it, will be mind boggling to her.

There are so many different issues, besides the teachings, that one exposed to an unhealthy church may have to grapple with, that many simply do not understand. Just where do you go when no one around you has any concept of what you’re going through? How can your other friends be of much help when they haven’t a clue about what you’re trying to discuss?

Despite all of that, there are certain people who can relate, besides former members of the same group. Though it may sound unbelievable at first, if you will take the time to learn why it is true, it can help immensely. A former member of an unhealthy church would find they have many things in common with former Moonies, Krishnas, guru followers, UFO groups, Jehovah’s Witnesses and more. While the teachings of each group are quite different, there are particular practices found in abusive and unhealthy groups that allow former members to relate to and understand each other. Yes, even though the groups they came out of are as different as night and day on the surface.

Had I not seen this first hand in the 1990s, several years after leaving the United Pentecostal Church, I probably wouldn’t have believed it for some time. It was a real eye opener for me. Take the time to educate yourself about spiritual abuse and what is involved. It will be helpful in your healing. We feel so strongly about it that for years we have given away used and new copies of books on the subject.

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