One of the distinguishing marks in unhealthy groups is that they have something special, that few others (or no one else) has. It could be a teaching, a revelation and even the pastor. In their minds, this sets them apart from others and makes them special.
Having something special that most others do not have is something that helps to keep members from leaving an unhealthy church. Outside of their doors is the mundane and God perhaps may not be found. Their church has special knowledge. Their church has a special pastor that teaches like no other or holds people in line like no other. Their church has a revelation that so far has just been given to them. They are special. They sit high on the hill and closer to God. They are the chosen. They are few. They are the ones called by God for this time.
There is excitement in such a setting. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of something special that God was doing?
You would think in such a setting that there wouldn’t be spiritual abuse, but there is. And as time goes on, leadership may become more and more abusive. The members allow and put up with it, as they have been conditioned to do so over he years. They still have that special something that others do not. They may even stand out from among other churches in their own group! Maybe they stand out so much that they split away to start their own group of authentic Christians. Others just don’t have what they have. They hold to the old paths and old ways. They are not weak on the message. And they will see to it that none of the members are!
If you feel that you would be leaving God if you left your group, chances are good that you are not in a healthy church. If leadership has told you this, you are definitely not in a healthy group. There is no Christian group that has God to themselves. There is no Christian group that has truth from God that is hidden to others and causes them to be lost while sincerely following God. God doesn’t give one group a special revelation that he withholds from others seeking him.
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