The following is a guest blog from Anna Burnett, and is used with her permission. She shared it in light of spiritual abuse on International Women’s Day, which was March 8.
What does being a woman mean?
For years I was told that it meant to be silent and submissive.
I was told that it was womanly to not ask questions and to obey men without any doubt.
My personality at its core was squashed.
I was told that in order to be in ministry that I couldn’t be so strong willed and passionate. ‘Ministry’ for women meant being a ‘pastor’s wife.’ I could never truly obtain a ministry position in the church because I was to be under men’s ‘God given authority.’
My ADHD self had been bold and intense my whole life. I felt every emotion strongly. I wanted to stand up for others. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to do more than simply live the ordinary life.
But I was always shut down.
It wasn’t God’s will for me to be this way…
I needed to be quiet and not be so controversial.
Stop wearing leggings and working out in front of boys.
Stop asking questions.
Stop being so loud.
Stop being so happy.
Stop being so transparent.
Stop being so strong willed.
Stop being…you.
Step into our cookie cutter and you can be a godly woman. You can be quiet and submissive. You can be ‘pastor’s wife material.’
I didn’t fit. I didn’t want to fit. I was miserable.
Who was I?! I knew I certainly wasn’t this cookie cut ‘godly woman’ they wanted me to be.
Jesus, who am I? Why did you give me my personality if it is meant to be squelched? Why am I meant to hide myself behind long skirts and wonder every moment if my shoulders were showing too much?
He took me and showed me…
I made you.
I made you curious… because you were never meant to be stuck in someone else’s cookie cutter. You were meant to ask questions and to form opinions.
I made you loud… so that you can stand up for others and for what is right.
I made you happy… so that you can help those that weep.
I made you transparent… so that others will know they aren’t alone in their struggles.
I made you strong willed… so that you will stand firm in what is right.
I was always exactly who I was supposed to be. The body of Christ cannot all be the same. “The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.” Romans 12:4-6.
Thank you, Jesus, for showing me.
Happy International Women’s Day. Be bold and strong. This was hard to post, but it felt right today. I am becoming more bold in speaking out about things that have happened in my life and if it can help one person, it is worth it. The effects of spiritual abuse are very real and there shouldn’t be shame in talking about it.❤️
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