I am going to use Becca Anderson’s and Jennifer Redcay’s book, Pushing Back the Darkness, to share some thoughts about spiritual abuse. Near the beginning of the book, it says,
| The heart of the issue in Jennifer’s experience of being drawn into a cult was her lack of discernment about the things the leader was telling her. It sounded so great to hear that he thought she had a “special ministry.” Without the tools of biblical discernment, she was unable to separate truth from lies. |
Many unhealthy groups either claim God has something special for you or that they are, or have, something special that others do not. It is an exciting feeling to be part of something that appears to be special and important, especially in the spiritual realm. Sometimes people get so pulled up into this aspect, and because they may see some things happening, they may fail to discern what is really going on.
After this, the authors share some helpful points on how to discern truth from error. Below is the first point:
| Read the Bible for yourself. Jennifer was a casual Christian. She was not familiar with the Bible and was therefore vulnerable to the leader twisting the Scriptures to suit his own purposes. Biblical knowledge doesn’t come overnight or from casual reading. It takes work. Read it systematically and regularly. If you are confronted with something that sounds like it “might” be from the Bible, or someone makes claims and backs them up with Bible verses, talk to someone more knowledgeable about the Bible (a friend, pastor, etc.) if you do not feel you have the ability yet to properly check out what you’re being told. |
Some who become involved in unhealthy groups either have little to no knowledge of the Bible or when they do attempt to check the veracity of what they are being taught, they only know how to study the way the group has shown them. They may not read passages in their proper context. They may not consider the whole, or all, of what the Bible teaches on the subject. By only using the ‘proof texts’ supplied by the group and not reading them in their proper context, it may appear that the group’s teaching is true, even though it is in error.
That is what happened to me when I became involved in the United Pentecostal Church. I had very little Bible knowledge and did not know how to properly study it. The manner in which they pulled out a passage here and there, piecing them together, appeared to make sense and I was hooked and pulled in. Had I read everything in context and considered what the rest of the Bible taught, I would not have come to the same conclusion.
Later when one leaves, sorting through the teachings is an important aspect of healing. Some people shove this to the side, feeling it is unimportant or they are afraid to tackle it. I encourage everyone to take the time to look objectively at what the Bible actually says. You can know if a teaching is based upon the Bible or not. It takes time and it can be difficult to look at doctrines that the group has tied to your salvation and relationship with God. But if you do not tackle these, you may find yourself periodically in fear of something not true. You may forever believe that distorted view of God that was instilled into you. These things may well affect you at least off and on throughout your life if you do not seek these things out for yourself. Don’t allow that to happen.
The second point the authors share is:
| Don’t be afraid to question what is said. When the apostle Paul was preaching in various cities, he praised the people of Berea because they didn’t take what he said at face value. They spent diligent time comparing it with the Scriptures they had and learned for themselves he was telling the truth. Anyone who insists you take his or her interpretation and not question it should set off alarm bells. Ask. Dig. Go to those who know more if you need to. |
A person who teaches something true is not afraid of questioning. They are assured of their belief and are not insecure or needing to dominate others by commanding them to accept what they teach based on their word alone.
The unhealthy group often has an unwritten rule against questioning their practices and beliefs. A person usually discovers this by making the mistake of voicing a question and seeing how this is twisted into making them look bad and not having enough faith. You are to believe and follow the teachings because the leader said so. They are “watching for your soul” and “must give account” of you to God, so they say.
People all too often place ministers and pastors on a pedestal of sorts and in an unhealthy church this becomes especially dangerous as that will be taken advantage of. The pastor is seen as all knowing, even speaking as the voice of God. Disobedience to pastor is seen as disobedience to God. This places your spiritual welfare and destiny at stake in your mind. It is easy then to take this mindset and create a no questioning rule that can lead the person down all types of treacherous paths.
I cannot recall how many times since 1997 (We just celebrated the 21st anniversary of the spiritualabuse.org website this week.) where I have had people share that they were afraid to question and/or were afraid to voice their questions to anyone at their church. They often learned to push them aside or rationalize them away. “Well, the pastor was put there by God and he knows best.” “If the pastor is wrong, God will correct him.” “There must be something wrong with me that I am having these questions about what is being taught.”
Questions are normal. There is nothing wrong with questions. Jesus himself allowed people to question him. He did not forbid them and he did not berate or turn on people for doing so.
If your church is healthy, they should be open to questions. Leadership should not be insecure and turn you away or view you negatively because you questioned something taught. If you encounter anything else, then take a huge step back as you are likely in an unhealthy group.
The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 2
The Darkness of Spiritual Abuse Part 3
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