It’s Good Friday. I didn’t go to church tonight. I thought about it, but church websites described the services tonight as solemn and focused on the crucifixion in a way that disturbs me. And so instead of going to church, I walked, and I considered some of the reasons that the focus of various churches at this time of year bothers me so much.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no Law.
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us walk in step with the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22 talks about the fruit of the spirit, but that fruit is in direct opposition to the condemnation and self-loathing that I was taught should be a part of any Easter season. And even though verse 24 talks about crucifying the flesh, it doesn’t mean beating our souls to a bloody pulp at least once a year with a focus on how terrible we are.
Which leads to a new thought: when we are focused on our sin or our supposed smallness or weakness, we cannot really be focused on God. Or at least I can’t. If my thoughts are on how I don’t deserve grace, should go to hell, should die in my sin, or something of that sort, though I’ve thought I was considering how big and wonderful God is, but if I was at all, it was through a lens of condemnation and shame that skewed my perspective of him. Maybe it’s not that way for everyone. Some people seem to see through the condemnation and the gore of the crucifixion to something beautiful beyond it, but I get stuck. And I know I’m not alone in that.
Which led to another thought: what if Calvary wasn’t about how bad we were? Yes, Calvary was about hope, but what kind of hope? What if part of it was hope that no matter what happened and no matter how bad things get, Jesus has already been there and will be with us through it? What if it’s about that no matter what anyone does to us, God is still in control, and there is still hope if we are in him? What if it’s about that no matter how hopeless things seem, there is still hope, there is still a new beginning waiting for us just a few days later, even if that hope seems dead and buried… and guarded by soldiers and an impossibly large stone? What if it’s not so much about death, but about the life beyond it?
It may not be an Easter message that makes much sense to most people, and it may not be the one that makes most hearts sing. But it brings a new hope to mine. And isn’t that what this season is about?
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