Year: 2017 | Page 2 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

When you’re an “Apostate” in their eyes

When you’re an “apostate” they don’t know how to handle you because they may get infected with your “evil.” I am the only person in my extended family to leave the sect I grew up in. Every cousin, aunt, uncle, sibling, parent, nephew, niece, and grandparent is still in the sect.

When I left I was shunned by all of my friends and the entire congregation. I was suicidal because I thought my family was also going to shun me and break off contact with me. But, by the grace of God, they showed mercy. There is contact (via text mostly because I live far away from them, in a different country), but it is quite strained because of all the lies they are told to believe about me – and other ‘apostates’ and ‘worldlies.’ I have chosen the way of Satan. I have chosen the easy life. I am lazy and don’t want to serve the Lord. Of course, none of these three statements are true, but it is what they believe whole-heartedly.

The bizarre thing is that they know I am still a Christian and I love God with all my heart, and my whole reason for being is to show love to others and live a life that is honoring to Him. But they still couldn’t attend my recent wedding because they might have been infected by my evil. They must have cognitive dissonance, surely, when they read the scriptures about all believers being one body, Christ’s body. How can the arm say to the leg “I can’t be near you?” It’s just ridiculous. Oh, and they claim to be the one group of Christians with the truth, and the light, and the presence of God. But not attending your daughter’s wedding isn’t love, is it? Where love is absent, God is also absent.

My Dad even went as far as to tell me that God would not be present at my wedding. And I married a Godly man who shines with the love of God. Strange how my Dad thinks he can state where the Creator of the universe is and isn’t. Like he has a monopoly on the Creator. What a deep level of lies and deception!

I am so very grateful that my family doesn’t shun me, like the families of many ex-cultists do. But there is still a grieving. Grief at the loss of proper relationship. Because to them I am tarnished. I can’t be myself around them. They don’t respect my way of life. They don’t ask me much about my job, my hobbies, my volunteering, my husband, as all of these topics are somewhat taboo. Conversations are shallow and mostly about the weather or the grandchildren. It gets tiring, trying to think of safe topics. Sometimes I don’t control or filter what I say and I just speak freely. But it often isn’t worth it because it causes further alienation.

I guess I live in an alien world. Which is the real world. They live in an insular, unreal, world. Inside the sect they refer to “the world” as everyone outside their insular group of chosen ones. My Mom actually told me that I am the most selfish person that she has ever met because I didn’t obey my parents and I left the fold. She told me that she cannot celebrate me because I have caused her so much pain. I asked her what was more important to her – that I continue to go along with a system that I know is a lie and be totally depressed and fake, or for me to be free to pursue a relationship with God in whatever way He leads and be happy and alive and genuine. She couldn’t answer. This system of religion has her tied in knots.

May God set them free from the grips of the spirit of religion – which is a dark, controlling, insidious, damaging and fake Holy Spirit that tries to block relationship and intimacy with our Creator.

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It’s about relationship

I’ve struggled for years with Bible reading. After I was thrown out of a church in 2000, I started having more and more difficulty, but particularly after I moved to a new city and a new church. So for 16-17 years, I’ve struggled. I knew the push for reading the Bible in a year was part of the problem, but recently I’ve realized there is a whole lot more to it.

So much of what I was taught in the church I was thrown out of was oriented to a judgmental, punishing god. This was a god who wouldn’t answer prayers (at least not mine), who would stand by and watch as someone tried everything and was still thrown out, a god who would give up on people or turn his back on people. This was a god who would send people to hell for wearing pjs or brightly colored tights or a wedding band. Sermons that were respected were about god cutting people off, about people never being able to get back to god if they ‘fell away’, of warnings about people going to hell… I was told that they didn’t even know if I could be saved, and then was warned at the interim church I ended up in that I should never talk about what had happened or that I’d been kicked out, which added more fear to what I was already dealing with, and with no outlet but only shame and secrecy.

When I moved to a new state and a new church, there were many more ‘good’ sermons about how people were going to hell in addition to what I’d already heard. People quoted scripture at me to justify themselves and excuse their behavior as well as to blame me for whatever was happening. It became harder and harder under all the condemnation to see God in any other way.

I could see that the god my former churches taught about wasn’t a realistic picture of God, but I couldn’t reconcile what I read in the scriptures (as much as they’d been twisted) with what I thought should be a loving, faithful, forgiving, merciful God. So I avoided the Bible. I didn’t need another daily reminder of a malicious god.

In all this time, all these years, I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d heard that God valued us or that he loved me personally. Not as a platitude, but as a real, heartfelt statement. I didn’t realize how much I’d been taught and how much I believed that Jesus died the death he did because he had to die the most gruesome death possible to take the punishment that I deserved. I didn’t realize the guilt or even the illogic of that — there are plenty of types of death that are gruesome and involve torture. Crucifixion was terrible, but men have thought of other gruesome modes of death, too. It’s not about my sin. It’s not about how awful I am, but about how much God wants a relationship with all of us — not so much that he would die, but so much that he came as a human, grew as a human, lived as a human, and died as a human, experiencing everything that we do in order to relate to us, even including death… to restore relationship. The one who relates best, after all, is the one who’s walked in our shoes. And so Jesus did.

Sin doesn’t separate us from God because he can’t be around sin… it separates us from God because we are too ashamed, too guilty, too whatever to be with HIM. God knew Adam and Eve sinned, but he still came for his walk with them in the garden. It was they who hid, not God. God never stopped trying to connect to us. Everything I was taught even as a child was so backward.

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Woman ‘in the Spirit’ on a Jamaican Flight

There is a partially false story being rapidly spread on Facebook (and probably elsewhere) that a woman aboard a flight to Jamaica saved the plane from crashing by being ‘in the Spirit’ before take-off. The plane was at Owen Roberts International Airport in the Cayman Islands. While the woman caused a disturbance by jumping around, clapping and yelling ‘Jesus’ in the aisle, the part about there being a major problem with the plane that would have caused it to crash is untrue.

Here is what is being shared, taken from a post made on November 25 by a female pastor who is touted as an apostle, prophet, and prophetic voice: “A woman got in the spirit of the Holy Ghost this morning when she boarded a flight to Jamaica causing the flight to be delayed for 2hrs. They had to remove her from the plane. Soon after, the Airport authorities realised that something was gravely wrong with the plane engine & that if they had taken off 2 hours earlier, the plane would definitely have crashed!!! Thank you Lord! The lives of your children are precious to you & you know when their work on earth is done. God saved all the passengers and crew, because of the obedience of one woman! HALLELUJAH! OUR GOD is truly the Chief Pilot of our lives!” (Note: The video itself initially was shared on the day of the event as can be seen here (this has since been removed). The inaccurate portrayal of events goes back to October when people started saying things like, “This Lady was in spirit on the plane to Jamaica and because of the delay they found that there was a problem with one of the engines.”)

A few days later the story grew to an even taller tale when one man wrote (this has since been removed) in part, “This woman felt the Holy Spirit just before a plane flight to Jamaica yesterday. She told them God informed her that the flight would go down. It took a while to get things situated and eventually throw her off the plane, so the flight was delayed for 2hrs. Soon after, the Airport authorities realized that something was gravely wrong with the plane engine. If they had taken off 2 hours earlier, the plane would definitely have crashed!!!”

On the date of the incident, Caymanmarload.com wrote about it. They stated that, “Apparently something happened with the one of the engines and after taxing off and they had to return to the gate” and said that a passenger stated a man started praying, which seemed to prompt the actions of the woman in question. That is when she got out of her seat and was jumping and shouting. Their website is the only one where I found the mention of engine trouble or that the plane had taxied out and then returned to the gate. I have never been able to verify there was any engine trouble.

The official statement from Cayman Airways was that the video of the incident which had been circulated did happen on flight KX-620 on October 23, 2017. In their statement, there is no mention of any major malfunction with the plane and certainly not that the woman’s actions caused them to discover it or that the plane would have crashed. Here is part of what they said: “The aircraft was at the gate with passengers boarded, but with the main cabin door still open while a minor maintenance issue was being resolved before departure. Shortly after the Captain announced that the maintenance work was completed and that the aircraft would soon be on its way, a female passenger left her seat and began shouting and jumping as can be seen in the video.” There was only a delay of an hour and 13 minutes as the woman was removed from the plane and her luggage retrieved.

So there are only three basic statements from the November 25th post which are accurate:
1) it was a morning flight to Jamaica
2) the woman was removed from the plane
3) the woman ‘got in the spirit’ (which I won’t attempt to address in this article)

It is NOT true that:
1) the woman’s actions caused them to discover a problem with the plane
2) there was a two hour delay
2) there was something gravely wrong with the engine
3) the plane would have crashed
4) the woman’s actions saved the lives of the people on board

It is so important to fact check stories before spreading them across social media and elsewhere. One should not embellish a story, especially not in order to promote or prove their beliefs. Doing so causes others to shake their head in disbelief as thousands of people rapidly share a false story that could have been easily fact checked in a few minutes time.

You may use this if you see this story being spread.

What is even more problematic is when people are shown the report is untrue and they attempt to discredit the airline’s statement, insinuating or outright stating that they wouldn’t tell the truth. Please look at the facts and use discernment. There was only a 73 minute delay in the flight and some of that was taken in evicting the woman from the plane and retrieving her luggage. Had there been a major problem with the engine, enough that it would have crashed, is it reasonable to believe that it could be repaired in just over one hour or that they would have taken the chance on using the plane after such a discovery?

In the short time it took me to write this, the post I linked to was shared an additional 2,068 times. Most of the comments are praising and believing the report. As of my update to this article on November 29, it had almost two million views, was shared 50,412 times and commented on by 25,000 people. Added July 13, 2018: For some reason in July 2018, the story went viral again. People had never stopped commenting, liking and sharing what was posted by the above mentioned female pastor. As of this update, the post has been viewed 7.2 million times, liked by 123,000, commented on 68,000 times and shared 137,176 times. It is quite disheartening to see so many Christians sharing this tale and never once questioning its veracity or checking first to see if it happened as stated and then berating people who question it. Within twelve hours of this update, it had been viewed another .6 million times, commented on 6,000 more times and shared another 13,000 times. That people are so quick to believe and pass on this report is sad.

December 1, 2017 Update: Cayman Marl Road reported on October 27, “Our sources have informed us that as of yesterday the passenger, identified as Ms. Barbara Cecile Bryan, remains on islands. Apparently she was removed from the flight that day and had her ticket cancelled for travel for the following morning. We understand that Cayman Airways/CIAA are in talks as to whether or not she should be banned from traveling on the airline and for how long.” If the name is accurate, she was granted Caymanian status on December 31, 2003 according to an official report.

On their Facebook page, they reported on October 25 that this woman had been hospitalized in the mental health ward after being removed from the flight. Another person shared that the woman “was out in the street where she was staying doing the same thing two days before boarding the plane.” Yet another commented, “Sadly, there were Haitians on that flight who are heading home via Jamaica after being here for almost 3 months. Recovering Open heart surgery patients who became very scared. Their translator who is also a born again Christian said he’d never seen anything like this before and they are all relieved the lady was removed from the flight.” In a separate Facebook discussion, (this has since been removed) one woman claiming to have been on the flight shared similar thoughts, “i was on the flight sitting across from her it was scary for my kids too.”

On November 29, buried amidst hundreds of comments on another Facebook post (this has since been removed) that was spreading this false report, a woman named Lori made the following comment that was ignored by others praising the story, “I was the flight attendant on that flight and your information is wrong. We had discovered a minor mechanical issue before this happened and went back to the gate to have it corrected. We were about to close the door when this occurred. She was removed and we departed safely to Kingston. I repeat this happened AFTER the problem was corrected.”

There is a news article on the incident: https://cayman27.ky/2017/10/passenger-removed-from-cayman-airways-flight/

This is the Facebook discussion about the above mentioned news article (this has since been removed): https://www.facebook.com/cayman27/posts/a-woman-was-removed-from/10154976577427452/

Here is the video with commentary from KevOnStage, made October 24.

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What happened to Abiding in Christ? The Legalists Reformation

There are many plain messages in Scripture that reflect the attitude we are to have towards God, but one that is a foreign to an ex or current legalist, above all, is abiding in Christ. The Apostle John told us “But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you:”

John goes on to say, “and even as it [the anointing] hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.” You shall abide in Him, Christ! Not man, not works, not ritual and tradition, but Him!

So, minor confession. If you haven’t figured this out yet, much of my writing, and my purpose is to come against spiritual abuse, legalism, and cults, because they scar the soul every bit as much as sin does. I myself was a judgmental, legalist, a Oneness Pentecostal for fifteen years fully believing I had the only truth you lacked, before the realization that I was bowing down to man and not God. I lost the joy of my salvation, and I had replaced Jesus with my pastor.

I had deified man, and I worshiped man. I counted it the highlight of my church experience to sit near my pastor, or to gain his approval. I never thought ‘what if Jesus knew what I just did…’, it was always, ‘What if pastor knew about what I just did…’

But, like every cult, and every spiritually abusive, legalistic structure, the initial focus was Jesus Christ as a front for the true purpose of the system. His name is used to promote the system, but in the end, your obedience was to the man at the top, and that obedience was tantamount to salvation. We abided in our structure, and works, in our holiness (dress standards), in our obedience to a man (fervent and unwavering obedience they openly demanded), etc.

So what happened to Abiding in Christ?

Joh 15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
Joh 15:2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
Joh 15:3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
Joh 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

My largest argument with legalistic systems is that they remove the connection between God, His Son Jesus Christ and the commune of the Holy Spirit, and they (men who command control over others) replace it with with obedience to themselves, which is becoming a priest of the Old Testament in New Testament Shepherd’s Clothes.

Remember, that when Christ died, part of the ending of the Law and Old Testament structure was that the veil of the temple was rent in two. In other words, the separation between Man and God (the Holy of Holies) was removed. In olden days, only the Priest could enter into God’s presence and intervene on man’s behalf. With the death, burial and resurrection (Gospel) of Jesus Christ, we now have direct communion with God!

As for you, the anointing you received from him[Christ] remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his[Christ’] anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him. – 1 John 2:27, AMP

Modern legalists are the roadblock that stands between the Saint and God. We, as seekers of truth always seek out a teacher of Truth, and he stands before us, blocking the view of God. The problem is we accept flawed man, who says anything he wants in the name of Christ, as the teacher of Truth instead of the true vine Jesus Christ!

As a matter of example, my previous church/cult just celebrated 41 years in business, but in all that time, they have not sent forth a single preacher, evangelist, missionary, or sent sums of money to charitable organizations feeding the hungry.

Yes, I said business. It’s a for profit business. Pay your tithes, pray, obey and stay in the words of one of my favorite commentators. What is the significance?

You cannot abide in Christ, you abide in the Pastor. I was absolutely called by Christ to preach his Gospel. The four days of sleepless dreams, quickening and inspiration was nothing but a touch of God. I knew it, I prayed it, cried it, talked it to my wife, claimed my worthlessness before God, experienced excitement and dread and everything in between. When I told my Pastor?

If it was real (the calling) God would have told ME.

Thus ends abiding in Christ. How many Scriptures can we find defining that His calling, His Word, and His Spirit would come to us directly? Too many to list here.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. – Psalm 143:10

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. – John 16:13

But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. – Galatians 5:18

Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. – Psalm 119:105

One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. – Romans 14:5

You must abide in Christ alone!

The word abide according to modern dictionaries means to accept or act in accordance with. Or, in this sense, to live your live in faith to Christ!

In the Greek dictionary, the word has a similar and strong suggestion;

men’-o
A primary verb; to stay (in a given place, state, relation or expectancy): – abide, continue, dwell, endure, be present, remain, stand, tarry (for), X thine own.

To abide in Christ is to stay in Christ. Remain in Him, hold fast to Faith, believing Him and His Word. Not other men, (not even me!) or their standards, traditions or teachings. We must have Faith in Christ alone, for He alone is savior!

So abide in Christ, friends and brethren. Do not abide in the false religion of man but the truth of God!

To see more of my original work, please visit here.

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