My name was probably removed from the roll this weekend. I’m really sad. I don’t know what I expected, but this wasn’t it. The pastor has never tried to contact me. Only four people have called. Some of my best friends never even called. We’re supposed to go to service four times a week. I haven’t been for three weeks and no one ever called?!
They think that church attendance is necessary for salvation, but no one is concerned enough for my soul- not my friends, and not the pastor- to call and see what’s happened, or to try to work things out? What happened to the Biblical methods of restoring such an one in the spirit of meekness? Of searching for the lost coin or the lost sheep? Jesus came to seek and save… why would the church sit on its hands and says “good riddance?” I’ve seen this before from inside, heard the stories of how wrong those who leave are. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.
Adding to that is the knowledge that many other Oneness Pentecostal churches will not accept me. It’s wrong to have to call a church and ask permission to attend because I went to the same denomination before, to be required to explain- very carefully so as not to incriminate the pastor- why I might have ‘problems.’ So I won’t. Even pastors who tell me to get back in church don’t want me at theirs! I am not sure what they expect me to do, because the situation at my former church is untenable, but I can’t tell anyone else what is happening; I can’t prove much and most of what I can prove is considered acceptable or within the bounds of ‘ministry.’ I DO NOT believe that being called a heifer or other derogatory terms is considered ministry.
If a pastor tells you he could care less if you attend or not or if other churches will not allow you to attend because “they don’t want problems,” yet all believe that if you don’t go to church you are in disobedience to the Bible, and that you can go to hell for that, then they are effectively saying “Go to Hell.” What kind of Christian attitude is that? What kind of Christian attitude does the person have who says they are a leader and therefore cannot be questioned, or who says that a person is in rebellion for questioning certain words or actions? What happened to love, mercy and grace?
I went through that too. In both cases no one bothered to ask me why I left (CFCMI) or was asked to leave (UPCI). I became, as George Orwell said in 1984, an “unperson.” I only existed to them while I was part of their team and played by their rules.