What if they are right?
This is a question that many who leave unhealthy churches face. Because they have not yet worked through the various teachings and/or because they do not understand the manipulative fear tactics, they sometimes later wonder if the group is right. Perhaps they are backslid or lost. Maybe their conscience has been seared. Maybe they did walk away from ‘the truth.’ This fear has caused some to at least temporarily return to an unhealthy church.
One of the signs of an unhealthy group is that they have ‘the truth’ and others, or at least most others, do not and are therefore not saved. They may have some unique revelation. Outside their doors there is no hope for you. Or so they’d like you to believe.
To a spiritually abusive group, leaving them is synonymous to leaving God, walking away from truth, and heading straight toward hell. People caught up in these churches sometimes forget that their relationship with God is one on one and is not dependent upon church attendance. It doesn’t end when you leave a church, switch churches, take a break, or choose to not attend anywhere.
If this thought of them maybe being right is bothering you, take a good, hard look at the teachings and the manner in which they are taught. Learn to recognize the signs of spiritual abuse and how fear is used to manipulate and control. Then you will know whether they are right or wrong and you will overcome that fear of the thought of ‘what if they are right’.
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When this thought tries to weasel its way into my head ( and even now it sometimes does try ), I immediately remind myself that God is love and his followers have love or have nothing at all. And like you, I then begin to remember ALL the ways the doctrine is just not in any way biblical. That thought runs . . . . . .
My mother no longer attends the UPC, but she still holds some of those beliefs. She made her home the only place of worship for her children. Then, she said that whoever moved out would go to Hell. I challenged this a lot, but she would scream as loudly as possible and then scream for me to leave her presence immediately. If I didn’t, she would scream “Lord, Lord, take the Devil away!” over and over again until I left the room. After so many hours, she’d ask me “why are you in your room?” and would seem to have no memory of the whole thing.
I had to get through these thoughts also but now I know the real truth.
After about 6 years out, this thought just never even bothers me one bit anymore 💃