Measuring Up

Whatever you did, you did not miss church unless it was very dire. If you were sick, you came to church anyway, unless you were throwing up or had diarrhea. Unless you were contagious you were at church.

When it came to working your job, you had to keep your priorities right. First of all, if you were interviewing for a job and they wanted you to work on a church night or Sunday, you turned that job down and walked away. You needed to put God first. You didn’t participate in anything that would take you away from regular church services.

There were a few exceptions, such as being on your honeymoon. However, many people did not even pay attention to those exceptions. I cannot tell you how many times we had visitors from other United Pentecostal Church or independent churches, people that were on vacation, and even people that were on their honeymoon. You just did not miss church!

Not only did you not miss church, you needed to be there 30 minutes early to pray. If you were not making it a full 30 minutes ahead of time for prayer, you would hear about it, often from the pulpit (in a general rebuke to all).

I remember feeling tremendous guilt, as a mother of four very small children, when I didn’t make it to church the full 30 minutes ahead of time. I felt, whether true or not, like people were judging me for being late. I wasn’t even late, but it felt late because I wasn’t there 30 minutes before church for prayer. However, like most young mothers with small children, it is a huge task to get all those babies ready for church. Then, about the time you think you got them all ready, one of them leaks out of his diaper, or someone gets something on their clothes. Then you have to change that and clean them up. It’s really a chore to get a family to church on time. Also, trying to pray for 30 minutes before church with four kids under the age of 10 can be a real handful. While you’re trying to pray, you get five words out, and a couple of kids are fighting, or they’re talking too loud, or some other childish behavior that’s disturbing others. I found it rather pointless as a mother of four small children to even come early for prayer.

Be that as it may, it was definitely expected. You certainly were not going to have any position of leadership if you were not very faithful with coming early for prayer.

Another thing about that culture was that if you were going to miss service, for whatever reason, you called the pastor and told him ahead of time. If you didn’t, he would be wondering where you were, and you were sure to get a call as he was trying to figure out why you weren’t there. Strangely enough, that is still expected in the church I attend now, although I do not do it.

Many other people find it ridiculous, as we are all adults and can choose to go when we want to and stay home when we want to. It was not that way in the church where I grew up! If you were not in church every service, and early to pray, you had better have a really good reason!

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Author: Grace

Born into family of third generation Oneness Pentecostal parents, to a father who was a second generation UPC preacher, and a mother who'd been raised by UPC preacher father as well. My parents' goal was to raise me up to be "preacher's wife material", which they considered the "highest calling" for a female. I am currently in a graduate program for psychological counseling. I work in the mental health field, with children and families. My goal is to educate and enlighten parents to raise children who are self confident and happy, free from anxiety and depression, as well as other pathological outcomes from abusive upbringing.

2 thoughts on “Measuring Up”

  1. Again, this was my life! God help you when the pastor was your dad and you were late or God forbid missed a service– you better be on your death bed 😳

    1. This. This was the church I just left. The pastor’s wife would call me if I wasn’t there, but hardly ever bothered to call otherwise. Once I told her, I’m not there because my children are ILL, not because I am trying to be “out of fellowship with God and others.” All this pressure to perform! Not “allowed” to even play a tambourine in the general assembly (congregation) if I wasn’t there early. YUCK! Disgusting. So free now. So free. Praise Jesus.

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