Multiple bloggers sharing, educating and supporting those who have been in unhealthy churches.

Author: Through Grace

I was raised in a somewhat unhealthy church group within the Nondenominational Christian Church. After graduating high school, I began attending a United Pentecostal Church (UPC). I've been a member of four UPC churches and visited many others. Of the four of which I was a member, I was "encouraged" not to leave the first and then later sent to the second; attended the second where an usher repeatedly attempted to touch me and the pastor told me I should not care about the standards of the organization and was wrong to do so; ran to a third at that point, which threw me out after a couple years; and walked out of a fourth. For these transfers and because I refused to gossip about my former churches, some called me a "wandering star, a cloud without water" (Jude 1:12). I love the fact that when the blind man was healed, questioned by the Pharisees and temple rulers, and expelled from the temple, Jesus went and sought him out. He very rarely did this once someone was healed, but for this man, he did. I believe God has a special place in his heart for those who are abused, wrongfully accused, or condemned by religious leadership. I believe He loves those who are wronged by churchianity--yes, churchianity, not Christianity, because those who do these wrongs follow a church, not Christ. 1 John 4:7-8 7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

A Meeting with a Pastor

Tonight I met with the pastor of the church I’ve been attending. The conversation was interesting. He was alright. I still don’t trust him; there were some strange twists and turns in the conversation that made me wonder if he was avoiding some…

Dear Church, Part 3

I was taught to look at how people were dressed and what they did to determine if they were Christians. When things got really bad at my unhealthy church and people started shunning me, I started seeking fellowship online. I ended up in…

Dear Church, Part 2

Dear church: Some of you posted on Facebook, statements like “how can anyone call themselves Christian and vote for ____.” Some of you got upset when I responded that my faith in Jesus-not my vote-made me a Christ-follower, a Christian. Some of you…

Dear Church, Part 1

Dear church: you talk about the distinction between Church, all believers, and church, a local group that meets in a building every week. Why? Where is that in the Bible? There are a lot of verses about the Church, as in all believers,…

Love, Honor, and Obey

Traditional marriage vows in some circles. The woman promises to love, honor, and obey. In my former church, the “obey” was emphasized to the point of embarrassment in the ceremony. Supposedly the pastor was “just teasing” but it was not the time or…

Dear pastor: Mothers’ Day

I cringe every year in May. Mother’s Day is coming. After years of hearing sermons about motherhood being the highest purpose or calling of a woman, of guilt trips because I’d never had a child, of thinking I was weird for not wanting…

Male strength and leadership

I’ve often been told that men have God-given, biblically mandated authority because of their greater strength. Women, we were told, are the weaker vessels. In nearly the same breath, I and other women were told to submit to this authority, this leadership, this…