Blogs | Page 204 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Does Salvation Come And Go?

The way some act in unhealthy churches, the salvation of a believer would appear to be so iffy and subject to change at any perceived wrong one might do or even think. Unhealthy churches are good at instilling this thought.

But is this the way the Bible portrays our salvation? I think not.

The Bible speaks about how intricately God knows us. He knew us even before we were formed in the womb. He knows our thoughts; he knows the number of hairs on our head.

The Bible teaches that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God.

The Bible teaches that NO ONE can pull us from God.

The Bible teaches that we are His, purchased with His blood. God has cleansed us, set us free and clothed us in His righteousness.

The Bible teaches He will NEVER leave or forsake us.

And if anyone does sin, believers have an advocate who pleads their case before the Father.

On and on it goes.

Yet if we leave a church group and their building, supposedly we’re backslid and lost and surely something bad is going to happen to us.

Do you see the picture I am trying to paint for you? Do you see how the fear that was instilled in you distorted your view? Change your focus to God and what the Bible records about Him. Therein you will find the truth to the situation and peace for your soul.

Jesus shed His blood for us- why then would He want us to cower in His presence? God is our Father- in that, He wants and invites us to come to Him. He is both the author and the finisher of our faith.

Fear permeates the teachings. That is why so many periodically question their salvation. It’s why people give up, thinking they just can’t live up to all that is expected. That is why so many live on a roller coaster ride and need to have the high from an ‘exciting’ service so they’ll feel OK for a day or so. It’s why some will follow certain standards because ‘we can’t be sure’ and they would rather be ‘safe than sorry.’

That is why when someone leaves, they often grapple with the fear of ‘what if they are right‘ or they are scared by foreboding communication from the pastor or church members.

When someone leaves a healthy church, they do not fear losing their salvation, nor do they worry that God will do something bad to them because they left. Oh, but those of use who have been immersed in an unhealthy church atmosphere encounter this fear. So much was attached to our salvation and leaving that church or group supposedly equated to leaving God and truth.

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Unhealthy Groups

I have been part of an “unhealthy group”. There’s really no need to name one… there are healthy and unhealthy churches under most-if not all-denominational banners.

What makes a church group-or any other group for that matter-unhealthy? There are lists published by people more qualified than I about exactly what constitutes an unhealthy group. My unprofessional synopsis is that if the group is consistently demanding or demeaning or a person finds himself doing things for them or with them in fear, the group is probably unhealthy for that person. Someone else may find the group to be healthy, but for the one living in fear, condemnation, shame, or other negativities, it’s unhealthy. And for anyone involved in creating those feelings, putting others down, acting disdainfully toward others, condemning and shaming others, the group is also unhealthy, though they might not realize or want to admit it. Bullies are victims as much as are the bullied.

What should a person in an unhealthy environment do? Some choose to stay there, hoping things will improve. Some try to change the group from the inside. Some ignore the problem or become part of it. And some leave.

I left. It wasn’t an easy decision, nor have things been easy since. Yet for me, it was the very best choice I could have made.

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Responding in Love

How do you respond in love to someone who repeatedly says hurtful things? Who is rude without realizing it? Who puts others down or repeatedly ‘corrects’ them in front of a group? And what do you do when the person does this to several people and makes even more others uncomfortable, but no one in leadership seems to realize it… and even praises them repeatedly and publicly? How do you respond in love when you’d like to just either retreat, hide and never go back… or fight?

Sometimes I think the only way to respond in love is not to respond at all. But am I truly loving others by remaining silent?

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God’s Love, My Trust

…It’s not a matter of whether I love God, but of whether I know he loves me, and what my understanding of that love is.

If you love me, let go of the hurt.

But justice…

No, let go. Do you not know that as deeply as you are hurt right now, as angry as you are about the injustice done, I am more? You are my child. Give it to me. Let me go seek out the troublesome one. Let me take care of this for you. I love you. I don’t want you to hurt. Just as the father would seek out those who hurt his daughter, so I will seek out those who hurt you, my daughter.

I’ve never known that kind of parent.

It’s ok. Let me be that father to you. Let my love flourish in you, cover you, protect you, heal you. Let go of your right—

But I do have a right!

Yes, you do, as a human who was treated unjustly. But you do not have that right as my child. As one who is truly mine, relinquish that right. Just as a bullied child cheers her dad for going and dealing with the bully for her, let me be your hero. Let me take care of this. Yield it to me. Trust me. Let me love you. In our relationship, the right is not yours. It is mine. And that is also love.

It’s not a matter of “forgive and forget”. It’s not a matter of forgiving at all. However, vengeance is not mine. I can speak out, I can defend myself and others, I can help others to understand. These things are right. But carrying what has happened, keeping it in the front of my mind, seeking vengeance, these are not what’s best for me. And so he asks me and others to do the impossible, to run to him after we’ve been hurt by people who’ve used his name wrongly, to see past what they said about him and trust.

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Twisted Word Meanings: Shorn

One indicator of an unhealthy church is when the meanings of words are changed. By doing this, what they teach appears on the surface to be backed by scripture. However, when one discovers that the twisted meaning is not the same as was meant in the passage(s) they use as a proof text, it will help them break from these erroneous teachings.

For those who believe that the word shorn in the Bible simply means to cut without regard to how much, I share with you a great picture demonstration that shows a half-shorn sheep. It is the copyright of photographer Cary Wolinsky.

The word shorn in 1 Corinthians 11 is twisted by some in an attempt to prove a teaching that claims women are never to cut their hair for any reason, not even a fraction of an inch. Some take the teaching even further and claim a woman protects herself and her family by keeping her hair uncut. Ruth Rieder Harvey of the United Pentecostal Church (UPC), has taught that believers replaced Lucifer as the protector and reflector of God’s glory and women accomplish this through following such holiness rules as not cutting their hair. UPC evangelist Lee Stoneking lamented in a sermon, if only Christians knew what witches and New Agers know. If witches can double the power of spells by letting their hair down and shaking it in the wind, what could our [Apostolic] women do with power on their heads?

Oh what great lengths some people take in their efforts to prop up a teaching in order to convince others to believe in and follow their ordinance.

UPC minister Daniel Segraves, in his book Women’s Hair: The Long And Short Of It, attempts to change the biblical meaning of shorn in an attempt to persuade women to follow the teaching. After using three regular dictionaries and three biblical reference books, he states: “That, while ‘shorn’ can mean ‘to cut close,’ it is certainly not limited to that meaning. Indeed, the preponderance of dictionary definitions are on the side of interpreting ‘shorn’ as simply ‘to cut,’ without specifying how much! …While a minority of the definitions could possibly apply to cutting closely, the majority testimony is that ‘shear’ simply means ‘to cut.’

Someone from biblical times would not have related to this conclusion by Segraves. To them, and to Paul who is the author of Corinthians, shorn meant to cut closely, just like is demonstrated in this picture by Wolinsky. People then were very much acquainted with the practice. If anyone had removed an inch of the wool on this sheep and tried to tell people that it was shorn, the onlookers would have heartily laughed. They knew that a shorn sheep was one where almost all the wool had been removed.

Take care to independently search out for yourself what is taught. Check to ensure that the meaning given is actually what was meant in the passage. You may find a night and day difference between scripture and what you hear from the pulpit.

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