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Arrogance in the church? Nah.

“One thing is for certain about the Amish. They are a modest bunch of people. They will never condemn you for having another religion as they believe that arrogance is a sin.” (From 26 Amish Facts You Need to Know – Sportingz.com/news/26-amish-facts-need-know/26/)

I never thought I was an arrogant person but after being in my former church for 18 years, I think I had become that way. No one had any truth unless they went to our church. No one knew how to pray, how to worship unless it was our way (noisy and active). We had ALL the TRUTH. It was our duty to try to get people to come visit our church (and of course stay) and become one of us. Surely we were not arrogant. We just wanted people to know the truth.

We did the Saturday morning visitation thing of course. I remember going out with some of the other girls and women. A couple of the teen girls had knocked on a door and the person told them to go away. They went away and “shook off the dust from their of their feet against them….” (It is in the Bible – Acts 13:51). I remember thinking “I hope the people in that house did not see them do that.” It did not seem very Christ-like to me even then.

Small children raised in that church could point out all the women they saw that were not dressed right (skirts/dresses only and down to the ankles, no slacks, long sleeves not above the elbow, and no short hair except for men). People of other denominations sometimes were ridiculed from the pulpit and of course we all “amened” that.

If people didn’t look like our church members, then they did not have the Truth (as we saw it, as it was taught and preached to us which was not necessarily what was in the Bible). It made us feel special, called by God, God’s Chosen People. We had Church, with running, dancing, singing, loud music and the louder the better. All other churches were considered “dead” because they did not “worship” the way we did.

Does God always want all that noise? There is a time and place for everything. Maybe sometimes we want to leap for joy before God. David did. Sometimes we want to play the music loud. That is in Psalms. But sometimes we should just be quiet so we can hear that still, small voice talking to us. Prayer was never quiet. How could any of us hear God? How could we feel God move on us? We only had good church if we went late, with an hour altar call with screaming, dancing, louder and faster music. Being slain in the spirit, chattering in tongues, kicking off shoes.

Judging people for how they dressed or worshiped; people who were different in their churchiness. Arrogantly feeling sorry for those who did not have the Truth. But it was all outward appearance and what we did in church and how many times – oh, those other people who went to those other churches only went one hour Sunday morning. Just think how much they are missing by not going several times a week.

People are different. God made us that way. We like to gather with others who think the same way and that is OK, but don’t begrudge anyone else from thinking and doing differently. Don’t isolate yourself from so many others who may just have a good way to worship God even if it is different.

Join Our Blogging Team

In July 2016 this website started a special section for multiple bloggers using WordPress. We currently have ten bloggers, 160 blog posts and 109 comments. Some blog regularly and others periodically.

In order to make this what I envisioned, we’d like to see a number of additional people blogging, all from varied unhealthy Christian groups/churches. The more people involved, the more people we will be able to help. You do not need to be a skilled writer. If you have been to an unhealthy church, you have a story. There are experiences to share and helpful thoughts of what worked and didn’t work for you as you have recovered. There are a multitude of issues you could write about that could potentially help many, many people.

Please consider joining the blog and adding your voice. You are under no obligation to make a certain number of posts or to post x amount of times in a month. Though I will know who is blogging, you may remain anonymous to our readers. Have you wanted or needed to share about something that happened to you but have not because of privacy issues? Now is your opportunity to do so. Have you been helped by those who have shared their journeys and insights? Now is your opportunity to do the same for others.

On the right side of this post you will see a section entitled ‘meta’ (on cell phones just scroll down past the post) and there you will find a link to register as a blogger. Select a screen name which cannot be linked to you if you wish to remain anonymous. No spaces please. I will contact you with further information through the email address you provide.

Edited to add: This is a Christian based website. That doesn’t mean non-Christians cannot blog here. Just do not promote other religions, atheism or agnosticism.

The fragility of truth

Someone told me today that he had come to the conclusion that “Orthodoxy is a fragile thing, which can be good. If it’s false, it can be easily dropped, and broken. But if it’s true, it must be constantly maintained.” I wonder if I misheard him. Because if what we believe is false, it can be easily dropped and broken, yes. But that is when it must be constantly maintained. Only the false is fragile. The truth, like fire, should not be so easily snuffed out.

It was an interesting comment and an interesting line of thought. Should the truth need to be constantly maintained? I don’t believe so. Truth will flourish on it’s own. The false, the insufficient will be easily broken or snuffed out, yes. Something closely related to that has been bothering me lately. After nineteen years of believing a certain way and giving my life to it, I find myself wondering what I believe.

I’m not sorry for the positive things that came of my life in Pentecost, but I don’t believe what I did just two months ago. I told someone not long ago that I haven’t left Pentecostalism, I’ve just grown beyond it. That is very true. It was good in it’s place and time, but there are deeper, richer places in God, and I’m ready to explore those.

So was what I believed false, that it could be easily broken? I can’t answer that yet. Is my faith broken or bigger now? I’d have to say bigger. Maybe in answering the second question, I’ve answered the first. So again I come to the thought that I haven’t left Pentecostalism, but I have grown beyond it.

Only what is false must be constantly maintained, in my opinion. Truth will stand on it’s own, and falsehoods won’t tarnish or change it. Truth is strong, but falsehood is weak and easily broken. Systems that encourage people not to look beyond their group’s way of thinking are maintaining something. But truth promotes growth, not maintenance.

The difference between falsehood and truth, to me, are like the difference between a spark and a bonfire. One can be easily snuffed; the other can burn for days without any human effort. So when I’m told if I miss a service that I’m “leaving truth,” when I realize that after 19 years that two months has totally changed my opinion on certain passages in the Bible… I have to wonder what I was maintaining all these years.

God made the mountains. He put the stars into space. He is truth. Truth doesn’t need to be maintained by humanity. Truth extends way beyond humanity. Who ever heard of maintaining a mountain? Or maintaining a star? So why, then, do we think truth must be fought over and maintained through such careful monitoring of every bit of information that passes our eyes? Truth will stand on it’s own. It isn’t fragile, and there is no need to maintain it.

There is no reason to fear that truth will break so easily. It should be treated respectfully, but even when left alone it will persevere. If a person is afraid that “truth” can be easily broken or lost, that is a very good sign that they are only maintaining an ideology, a mindset, or a thought pattern, rather than real truth and faith.

It Is The Pastors Who Must Give Account…Of Themselves!

I can imagine Jesus saying something today like He did in Matthew 23, “Woe unto you ministers who cause all kinds of harm to those trying to follow Me! Woe unto you who abuse my people, making merchandise of them for your own gain! Woe unto you ministers who rob people of their hard earned money and live the high life!….”

So often in unhealthy churches we heard to ‘obey them that have the rule over you‘ because they will be giving an account of you to God. My desire is not to delve into that at the moment, except to say it isn’t true. Ministers have super big egos if they think they get to be a go-between with you and God. The point I wish to make is the price these ministers may have to pay in the end if they do not change their ways.

It is one thing to teach erroneous doctrines in sincerity and with love, believing them to be true. I am fairly certain that we all believe some things that we will find are not true. However, it is a different story when a minister refuses to objectively look at what they are teaching when valid points are made in love. It isn’t the same when things are taught with shaming, threats and manipulative tactics or when God is painted in such a manner as to be viewed as a harsh taskmaster, almost anxiously waiting for you to mess up on the smallest details so He can pummel and/or leave you.

Through the years, I have witnessed a multitude of individuals with varying degrees of harm, left by those who were supposed to help them grow in their walk with God. Some of these people leave and live a destructive lifestyle because they believe they are lost and without hope. Others cannot bring themselves to become involved with a group of believers as they are too fearful and/or non-trusting. Some struggle for years with the after effects of their experience. There are so many issues people face when they have been involved in unhealthy and abusive churches.

Their experience may cause them to no longer believe in God or they continue to believe in the warped sense of God that was presented in their former church. Some, though they see the errors of the teachings, cannot see that the false image of God doesn’t accurately portray Him. They don’t want to follow a God that is so harsh and ready to pulverize them at any small indiscretion. Who wants to follow a God like that?

These ministers won’t be reporting to God about you, but they will be answering to God for what THEY have done. Though written in regard to the spiritual leaders of Israel, I believe the same applies toward certain ministers today.

“Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of My pasture!” declares the LORD. Therefore thus says the LORD God of Israel concerning the shepherds who are tending My people: “You have scattered My flock and driven them away, and have not attended to them; behold, I am about to attend to you for the evil of your deeds,” declares the LORD. Jeremiah 23:1-2 (NASB)

Then the word of the LORD came to me saying, “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. Prophesy and say to those shepherds, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD, “Woe, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flock? You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat sheep without feeding the flock. Those who are sickly you have not strengthened, the diseased you have not healed, the broken you have not bound up, the scattered you have not brought back, nor have you sought for the lost; but with force and with severity you have dominated them.” …Thus says the Lord GOD, “Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will demand My sheep from them and make them cease from feeding sheep. So the shepherds will not feed themselves anymore, but I will deliver My flock from their mouth, so that they will not be food for them.”‘ Ezekiel 34:1-10 (NASB)

For the joy

Sometimes I feel like dancing…

I don’t know what to write. There is so much going through my mind, and sometimes there aren’t words for what we experience. That’s where I am right now. Sometime, probably soon, several pages will all appear at once on my blog, but for now, I’m just happy and enjoying that happiness.

Several months before I left church, the pastor preached and said that people appear happier for awhile after they leave church, because they have made a decision one way or the other after riding the fence for so long. After being out awhile, I have to say that is probably wrong, at least in some cases. I’m not happy to have left- I still believe much the same things and dress much the same way, and I miss my friends. I haven’t figured out yet how to make connections outside of church, and so I’m lonely sometimes too.

But I’m also just… joyful. I am finally getting the rest that I need, when I need it. Enjoying the peacefulness and quiet of my home. Cleaning house, since that was always the first thing to fall by the wayside when I was overwhelmed. Organizing. And feeling good about myself for doing these things and for not always worrying about what anyone will say or think or do. Just being myself. Its been a nice change.

Do I enjoy being able to do whatever I want? Of course. But what have I done? I ate soup with a man, in broad daylight, without a chaperone. I’ve watched three and a half movies (plus two and a half before I left). YouTube sometimes, a little face powder for a while, trimmed my hair twice just a tiny bit. And missed church.

What have I found? Its fun to meet new people or to share a meal with someone without a chaperone. Movies are generally pretty boring, even if they were once favorites. I could care less about makeup, and like my hair as it is, but don’t think trimming it was a sin. I really enjoy the hymns and quiet worship of many denominational churches, their sermons about God’s love and mercy and grace, and their teachings about how to love each other… and haven’t yet found one that seems to be a good fit for me. But that’s OK.

And in all these things and others, I’ve discovered that it’s OK to relax. God loves us. He isn’t waiting to whack us if we are a little “off.” He won’t strike us the minute we stumble, but like any good parent will gently catch us, set us upright and encourage us to keep walking. It’s nice to be imperfect. And it’s a joy to realize perfection isn’t required. God loves us just the way we are.