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Alicia’s Journey In & Out of the UPC: No Tongues – No Heavenly Admittance Allowed Pt 1

The following is part one of a six part guest series from Alicia Sounier Dwivedi, a former United Pentecostal Church member.

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As a very young child of about 5 years old I began attending Sunday school at a United Pentecostal Church in Augusta, ME with my cousins, and I LOVED IT! When I was a 10-year-old girl, my mom started attending our local UPC regularly, and I LOVED IT! I even got to switch out of public school to the UPC’s Christian School, and I LOVED IT! I feel like I blossomed after being moved out of public school into the Christian school at around 10 years old. The church, school, community, and all its functions were some of the best things that ever happened to me. I am thankful for the people who invested in me from the time I was a small child. I love most of the memories I made, and love the people who were part of my community.

Now in hindsight I realize some of the things I struggled with, that tore at the very core of my being, I should never have had to go through and neither do countless others. Due to these same issues many people sit on pews wondering at their place within the church. Some walk away giving up on God altogether, and others, like me, walk away from the UPC – but not God. However, we’re considered ‘backslidden‘ or ‘prodigals’. My previous pastor said this to me not so long ago in a kind tone of voice. I’m being serious – he’s known me since I was 5 years old, and he was being lovingly kind about it.

I can remember praying with all of my little heart to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in other tongues many many many many many times as a little girl. Being so emotional and wanting something so badly, with tears rolling down my face, I can remember pleading with God to fill me with the Holy Ghost. I began wondering why he just wouldn’t give it to me. What was wrong with me that God wouldn’t give me this gift he said he would give when I asked? I was doing what I was told…I repented, and yet God was withholding something so precious from me (salvation). An innocent little child becoming a beggar at the altar. Little did I know I was being handed an unnecessary burden I would carry for the next 40 years.

Church service after church service would go by, and a child here and there would get the Holy Ghost (or be refilled) – but not me. You know if you are telling a small child to ask nicely for a treat of some sort, but don’t actually give it to them, they’ll start questioning your character. Then you keep telling them to repetitively ask “the correct way” so they’ll eventually get what was promised them, then they’ll not keep asking with any sort of faith they’ll actually get it. How heartbreaking for any child to stand with hands outstretched and pleading eyes WAITING AND WAITING. I was walking away empty handed time again all the while knowing until I spoke in tongues I would go to hell if I died. I wouldn’t do this to my own precious child, and it breaks my heart imagining how God must feel watching his children being placed under the burdens of faulty doctrine. I loved and wanted God so much, but legalistic teachings began entrenching itself into my little mind.

FINALLY one service my Sunday school teacher started celebrating while praying for me stating I’d gotten the Holy Ghost. I was confused because I hadn’t heard any new language coming out of my mouth. Sure, I had stammering lips and tears, but there was no new language. I also didn’t feel any different. I remember her shaking her head yes, and saying “Yes, Alicia. That’s the Holy Ghost, Alicia.” Then she’d speak in tongues off and on again, but break off to encourage me in English. I later learned this Sunday School teacher was known for saying kids had spoken in tongues when they actually hadn’t.

From a 5-year-old little girl until 30 I attended the UPC church. I left the church around 30, and it hasn’t been until this year as a 45-year-old woman that I FINALLY figured out some things and have closure. To this day I truly don’t know if I ever really spoke in tongues. Instead I believe what I was experiencing was a wildly emotional response taught to me by my peers.

Growing up in the church and being a part of its functions were right up my alley. No one had to force me to go to church – I ABSOLUTELY LOVED MY CHURCH & CHURCH FAMILY! It didn’t matter what I had to do to be pleasing to God, I would do it without much thought or hesitation. Don’t cut your hair – OK. Don’t wear makeup – OK. Don’t wear pants – OK. Come to church three times a week and five days a week during revival – OK. Sleeves down to your elbows and skirts below the knee – OK. No worldly music, no cussing, no drinking, no smoking, no premarital sex – OK. Standards didn’t overwhelm me, and I did them because I thought this was what God wanted. My issue was elsewhere – SPEAKING IN TONGUES.

Being a part of a church that taught speaking in tongues as not only the initial evidence of the infilling of the Holy Ghost, but it was also something that had to be repeated (should be daily), but also needed to be done again on cue if asked to ‘pray in the Spirit’ at any time during a church service. I COULDN’T DO IT. I would wonder what was wrong with me that I couldn’t speak out like ‘everybody else’. Questioning my salvation was regularly on my mind and in my heart. I cried – A LOT (understatement – I can’t adequately describe the amount of tears). I became very self-conscious in not only praying for myself, but praying for others. If I couldn’t speak in tongues properly – therefore not being saved properly – how then could I pray for anybody else to get the Holy Ghost? I would feel so relieved when the Pastor would come take my place while praying for somebody. My prayers were not as effective as his…

I begged God service after service to change me. Do anything he needed to do to me to allow me the ease of speaking in tongues to be absolutely sure of my salvation. I had no reassurance when I died I would go to Heaven, and was literally petrified of death.

I would ask various people I respected about why it takes some people longer to receive the Holy Ghost. I would never reveal I was asking for myself, but it was always for “another person I knew.” The consistent answer was there was something within that person that was wrong and stopping them from receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. So, something was wrong with me, yet I couldn’t figure out what it was. Church service after church service would go by, year after year would go by, and there I was still stuck begging God for just the basics of salvation.

There were infrequent times I thought possibly I spoke in tongues, but these situations were few, far between and very questionable. I had to be bawling my eyes out, extremely emotional with tears, stammering lips, and there’d be slight repetitive syllables softly rolling off my tongue. When this would happen I would then immediately start to pray for God to kill me. Let me die now! Die in my sleep, get in an accident on the way home, or just a death that wasn’t too painful. PLEASE LET ME DIE NOW SO I CAN GO TO HEAVEN. This is all I really wanted. I wasn’t too concerned with my future or what God wanted me to accomplish with a full life. I just wanted to go to Heaven so badly. I was a healthy teenager who loved God, yet there I was praying for death. Also when these situations would occur I didn’t feel any extra peace, happiness or reassurance. I still questioned myself.

I remember this one very well-known evangelist who came to our church to minister. Our church would be packed out when he’d show up, and I always looked forward to his arrival. At the altar call of one service he was praying over a teenager in our youth group. Because the evangelist had the microphone up to his face and the young man’s he was praying for, the whole church could hear the young man praying in tongues. His tongue sounded almost exactly like mine. The evangelist proceeded to tell the young man to grow up and gain some depth in God because his tongue was a baby tongue!

I WAS MORTIFIED and so thankful the evangelist hadn’t been praying for me and said that. So not only did I very rarely speak in tongues, but the tongue I did sometimes have was a baby tongue? This was so confusing to me. How did God give us a baby tongue that was supposed to gradually switch over into what? An adult tongue? Where was this mentioned in the Bible? In fact, most of the tongues I did hear going on in church didn’t sound like languages at all. Speaking in tongues wasn’t supposed to be about ‘learning to do it’ like a language we learn to speak. It was supposed to be something the Holy Ghost accomplished within us, right? But what did I know? The people I looked up to and loved said this is the way it was, so this is the way it was.

Deanna Jo of Responsible Faith interviews Alicia:

See Part 2.

Sacrifice, Salvation and Security

Purpose: To understand the power of the cross limitations (if any) of grace.

Sacrifice

Leviticus 17:11 explains the purpose of blood sacrifice, “For the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes atonement for one’s life.”

We see in Isaiah 59:2 that “It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, he has turned away and will not listen anymore.” Because of our sins, we had no connection to God, nor any hope of ever being connected, unless there was a blood sacrifice, which was the price of forgiveness. Hebrews 9:22 says “For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness.”

The only way we could be forgiven was through blood. So, Jesus, being the only sinless one, the Son of God, died in our place so that we could be forgiven by his substitution–sacrifice for our sins. 1 Peter 2:24 shows that “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right.” I Corinthians 5:21 says, “God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin so that we could be made right with God through Christ.”

Because of Jesus dying as a substitute for us, our sins are forgiven and we take on His righteousness when we become believers. Matthew 26:28 says that Jesus proclaimed, “for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many.” I Corinthians 5:19 explains, “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them.” Romans 5:9 agrees, “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!” Ephesians 1 also points out that “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace”

There are so many verses that point to these truths that it is impossible to share them all here.

Salvation

What then is salvation? He died for our sins, so does that just immediately make us all saved? What do we have to do?

In Acts 16:30, a man asked this very question of Paul and Silas, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” This was their very simple answer: “They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.”

These people believed, and then they chose to be baptized, but the passage doesn’t hint in any way that the choice for baptism was mandatory to their salvation. In fact, in verse 34, there is no mention of the baptism having any bearing on their joy or their salvation, saying “he and his entire household rejoiced because they all believed in God.“(emphasis added)

Romans 10: 9-10 further explains, ” If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.” (emphasis added)

Ephesians 2:8, written to the believers in Ephesus states, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” (emphasis added).

Although many of us were taught, or even indoctrinated to believe there was a whole list of things you had to do to be saved, these verses and many more make it clear that God wants our faith in the work of the cross…nothing we can do can save us…not baptism, not living a certain way, not anything.

Last year, several family members and acquaintances died. All were from the generation before mine, all still in the apostolic belief I grew up in. I went to two different funerals, and both were very sad, not only because of losing the loved one, but because of the things that were stated and believed by the majority of those who were at the funerals.

At my own mother’s funeral, my dad (a pastor) insisted on giving the message at the graveside. His entire admitted purpose for his small sermon was “to state the salvation message that some here may not have another opportunity to hear”. As I listened to what he was saying, it struck me anew how unbiblical it all was, and I was filled with sadness for the people who continue to believe it. He said that, “in order to ever see” her again, one had “to repent, and be baptized (using a certain formula), and …..and…..and live a life of holiness (a key phrase meant to imply dress standards)….and…submit to a pastor.”

As I listened, I knew that there were people there who, knowing I no longer belong to this group, were watching my facial expressions. When I first found my place, sensing what was coming, I looked at one of the roses on the casket, noting how beautiful it was, and I allowed my face to reflect the emotion the rose evoked. Then I froze my face in that exact expression, not allowing any change of emotion throughout the entire graveside service.

Yet, inside myself, as I listened to this proclamation of “how to be saved”, inside my head, I was hearing the strong refrain, “Nothing but the blood of Jesus! What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus! What can for sin atone? Nothing but the blood of Jesus! Naught of good that I have done. Nothing but the blood of Jesus!” I wondered, as I sat there, if my dad has ever stopped to think about what he is saying, or noticed how many “and’s” he added on.

I felt sad for my dad, and for all of the people who follow this teaching. I grew up in this church and didn’t leave until I was nearly forty years of age. I know and love many of these people, who are sincere, but so very “beat down” in their general demeanor. Somehow, they keep striving, and it is never enough. It will never be enough. God sees their works, their weariness, and their anxiety. I’m sure it makes Him sad too, watching those He loves so dearly, as they try to earn what He already freely gave.

Instead of understanding that there is not one blessed thing they could ever do to earn it, they are like the proverbial donkey with the carrot on a stick in front of them, continually toiling for something they can never obtain.

Jesus already did everything that was necessary to save. Our efforts are useless and frankly, disgusting. We can’t earn it or ever do enough. It is actually insulting to think that we devalue what he did by thinking we can somehow do enough to earn our way to heaven.

There is no “and…and…and” about it. It is simple, and in that simplicity, there is actually awe. It requires a lot of faith to really understand that we are completely and totally dependent on trusting God completely and trusting in the blood of Jesus to cleanse us from sin and save us. It requires us to rest in that hope and to stop our thrashing about and striving so hard to do something that is not humanly possible.

Our attempts at righteousness are, to God, as “filthy rags” Isaiah 64:6, speaking of the sinfulness of humanity, points out ” When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags.” Filthy rags stink. They are gross. They need to be washed. They are not fit to be placed at the table.

The only way we can be saved is to have our sins washed by the blood of Jesus…through faith in the work on the cross.

Security

Seeing what sin did to us, and understanding the purpose of the sacrifice on the cross leads us to salvation, but what happens after that? We are still human. Temptation is all around us, and we aren’t perfected. What happens when we sin again?

Some groups teach that every time we sin, we are again separated from God. They say that this requires us to repent (turn around and go the opposite direction) again and to re-experience the cross through prayer and a contrite attitude.

On the surface, that sounds legitimate. However, what happens if we suddenly die after making a sinful mistake and we haven’t had time to repent or pray?

Last May, when I was with my sweet, gentle momma, I saw her in dire emotional distress as she neared death. This experience forced me to begin contemplating this issue in a new way.

We’ve heard all the stories about the saints of God and their confidence and faith, dying peacefully. Because of those stories, (which I’d always believed, even if that seems naive), I fully expected to see that in this case.

Although mom did eventually find a peaceful death, I was very troubled by witnessing the extreme anxiety experienced as she first realized this was the end.

I saw clearly a conflict between sorrow of leaving loved ones behind, and the desire to see ones gone on before. This was something that I’d not considered before, but now know is a normal part of dying. Love hurts, even in death.

Beyond that conflict, I witnessed something that I had never imagined possible for my mother. She was awash in true fear about whether or not she was ready to go.

Mom had been serving God since she was a child. Although imperfect as any human, she was extremely contentious, and had never once turned away from her Christian beliefs or her service to God. My mother was widely known to be a very sweet, loving, and gentle soul who generally exhibited the fruit of the Spirit.

Yet, as she lay, suddenly aware that death was imminent, she cried out to God in fear and anxiety, asking Him to forgive her, over and over. She was yelling out for hours, begging for God to help her be holy. No amount of reassurance from my dad (whom she considered her pastor) or others was enough in that moment to calm the intense anxiety.

The experience was so troubling to me, that I have been haunted by it ever since. She had lived her entire life in a legalistic environment, as her dad was also a pastor in the same belief.

Obviously, I too grew up in the same. I remember often worrying that I’d forgotten to repent over some negative thought, or had somehow overlooked a failure that would “send me to hell”. It used to continually concern me that I’d somehow not done enough, despite my efforts. I recognized her anxiety and fear for what it was.

In the moment, my sister and my father were also aware of the nature of mom’s fears–for dad repeatedly tried to reassure her, then laid hands on her and rebuked the spirit of anxiety. By the time she had passed on, they had re-framed what occurred, altering it to fit with their beliefs. At the funeral, it was described that she “travailed for the lost for eight hours straight”. Those of us who had actually witnessed what happened knew the truth. Although she (believing that my sons and I are “lost”) did use some of that time praying for us to be saved, a large portion of the time was undeniably her own anxiety about being saved.

In this high control religion, indoctrinated with the teachings, we saw God as continually frowning down, constantly aware of any misdeeds. We pictured his frown of disapproval, because that is what was emphasized in our environment.

Knowing what I know now, I was filled with deep sorrow for my sweet, sensitive mother. She was denied the peace and assurance that she was headed straight into the loving arms of God. False doctrine had robbed her and left her afraid. I could not help thinking of 1 John 4:7-19.

Here are some excerpts (in bold is the specific portion that came to my mind as I stood by my mother and held her hand). “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love….as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”

In light of this passage, it is heartbreaking that someone could live almost seventy years showing the love of God, and still be so afraid of being lost.

As I witnessed her fear on that day in the hospital, I remember feeling such sadness and pain, watching her struggle, and knowing that it stemmed from legalistic beliefs about salvation and works. Now, I’m angry. I’m angry to think how peace, love, and joy was stolen from her by years of false doctrine. She knew nothing else. It makes me angry to think of her mental anguish over such an untruth.

I knew my opinion was not welcome in the family, as everyone in the room (outside of me and my boys) was part of the legalism. Toward the end of the day, I had the opportunity to stand right at the head of her bed, with my mouth close to her ear. As she cried out anxiously “God, make me holy,” I’d had enough of trying to “go with the flow”. I quietly whispered in her ear, “you already are holy! The blood of Jesus has already made you holy!” I began to quietly sing a song that one of them had written long ago “I can come to Him boldly, stand in the Holy of Holies. His blood has made me worthy. I can come boldly unto the Lord.”

Hebrews 13:12 states, “So also Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates to make his people holy by means of his own blood.”(emphasis added)

It is incomprehensible to me that a God of love would want one of his precious saints who had always loved him and shown his love to others to suffer the anxiety and distress of coming to the end of the road, feeling as if they still were “not good enough“.

Of course, none of us are good enough by human effort. Still, if our faith is truly in God’s work on the cross, would He not want us to have peace in our passing?

Romans 5:1 “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.” (emphasis added). This shows the power of our faith in him…not our faith in our own service to him.

If it is His work on the cross that saves us, then putting our faith in anything other than His perfect work on the cross is wrong. It is insulting to the suffering of Jesus on the cross to think we can do anything beyond what He has already done. Ephesians 2:8-10 teaches that, when we trust in our own works (any effort we put forth) for salvation, we are taking away from the work on the cross.

It is the shed blood of Jesus that substitutes for our death. His sacrifice on the cross makes us sinless before God.

So what about besetting sins?

In my above example, my mom had done her best to follow God, as she understood him, all her life. She had worried and fretted over every possible sin and had lived a life of contriteness.

Not everyone lives this way though, and at this point, it seems to me that living as she was indoctrinated to live is perhaps even dishonoring to God, because of the level of fear and anxiety that is present. If we love God and if understand his love perfectly, would there be such a constant fear of displeasing him?

Then, where do we draw the line? Because there is grace, does that mean we just live however we want to live, with no regard for right and wrong? Once we have faith in his work on the cross as the only saving power, does it mean we are sinless in his eyes no matter what we do from that point forward?

(to be continued)

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Love Lessons

I never related very well to the parable of the prodigal. I heard people amazed that the father ran to meet the prodigal and that the prodigal was unworthy. Those things I got, but… so? My own parents were distant growing up in some ways. I’m not sure they would have run, but they’d have welcomed me, even if through slightly gritted teeth.

But… I’ve recently become acquainted with a couple who fosters kids. They’ve had their current fosters since before the pandemic, and their fosters will be adopted soon. And the man has been crying all week. Every time someone asks how he is, every time someone asks about the kids, he chokes up. They aren’t his kids. He’s know they were only there temporarily. That they’re being adopted is great for the kids, and he has said so, but still, this has been a really hard transition for him.

I’ve watched him with those kids. I’ve watched him live in the moment with them, and watched him choke up when the kids won’t see. It’s hard for him to see them go, hard knowing they will be moving away. There’ll be an emptiness in this couple’s lives when those kids are gone, and their own grief is as real as their love for the kids.

If he were the father in that parable I would understand why he was running – not just to welcome him back, but because he missed them and he loves them, no matter what they do, no matter where they are. If this man were the father, and he saw one of his fosters – not even his own kids – coming toward him, he’d run, and no one who knows him would be surprised at that. Not at all. No matter what they’d done, no matter where they were, he’d run to them if they ever needed him, and he wouldn’t ever consider them “unworthy” (like I was taught from the story of the prodigal). He wouldn’t, and neither did the father in the story. They’d be the first to remind them of their worth, not because of what they’d done or not done, but simply because they are.

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Finding home

Two months ago I started attending a church… after around 5-6 years of swearing I was done, and after one infamously sarcastic Google search for what I thought was the impossible… a church that accepted even doubters and unbelievers.

For two months I’ve watched people in this church – leaders and laity – being authentic, accepting and loving. They’ve invited me to sit with them and welcomed me to their classes, groups, and discussions. They’ve never once pressured me for information about myself or pushed for any commitment from me. They’ve listened, they’ve shared, and they’ve loved.

When I first started going, I’d physically shake and my blood pressure would go hypertensive, which is very unusual for me. But I was actually IN a church building, and that was a terrifyingly dangerous place in my mind. And this was a different kind of church than I was used to (thank goodness!), and the unfamiliarity was also scary. But there was something incredible happening and I knew it, and I knew that this church was part of it.

I asked God at the time to please provide answers to some of my many questions without me having to ask. That prayer has been answered many times over, and is still being answered in amazing ways but I’m not afraid to ask questions now. This is a safe place to wonder, to question, to ask. Even to doubt or differ.

The last two months have brought healing to 22 years of deep wounds, and a restoration I didn’t dare dream of.

I’m so incredibly happy that I’m joining this church tomorrow. No, membership there changes nothing. There’s no extra perk to joining, unless you count getting a name tag, and no one will expect anything more or less of me. Nothing changes because they will continue to do just what they’ve already done and be what they’ve already been. But it means a lot to me, and it’s my opportunity to say, “me, too.”

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Giveaway: C.H. Yadon & the Vanishing Theological Past in Oneness Pentecostalism

This is only open to those with a USA mailing address.

This is your chance to receive a new copy of C.H. Yadon and the Vanishing Theological Past in Oneness Pentecostalism by Thomas Fudge. It is the third book in his series on Oneness Pentecostalism. It sells new for $29.95. It covers Oneness Pentecostal history, and highlights the United Pentecostal Church, of which Mr. Fudge was once a member. The emphasis is on the life of C.H. Yadon. Yadon turned in his UPC license in 1993 when the affirmation statement started being required of all ministers. Over the years, the UPCI has pushed various people out of the organization as they took stands against various beliefs.

United Pentecostal General Superintendent David Bernard did not want this book to be published and his comments are included in Fudge’s work. His comments alone are a good reason to want to read this book as the UPCI doesn’t want aspects of their actual history known. This is what he wrote:

“I do not recommend the book for publication, for the following reasons: (1) The audience is extremely limited. The focus and tone are too narrow to appeal to most scholars. The subject matter is of interest primarily to Oneness Pentecostals, but C.H. Yadon is not a well-known figure in the movement’s history, and those who would be interested could be repelled by the harsh anti-UPC rhetoric. Thus, the most likely readers are those who have left the Oneness Pentecostal movement or who are considering it. (2) The research does not meet scholarly standards. It doesn’t adequately engage the latest scholarship in the field. It doesn’t consider or interact meaningfully with opposing evidence or alternative views. It relies excessively on marginal, questionable, or unverifiable sources with inadequate attention to readily available, documented, and credible sources. (3) It is a mixture of historical analysis and theological debate, but doesn’t fully complete either task successfully. In any case, the author has already covered this ground in a previous book. (4) It gives excessive space and coverage to a little-known, insignificant work by a nineteenth-century, semi-Arian writer. Since that work doesn’t represent a significant position within Oneness Pentecostalism, it has limited historical or theological value. (5) The family of C.H. Yadon opposes publication.”

This giveaway is a drawing and not a first come, first served giveaway. To enter, just leave a comment to show you wish to be included. The drawing will close on October 19, 2021 at 6pm (eastern time), after which I will draw the winner. Be sure to check back to see if you have won as in the past some people have not responded after winning and so a new winner had to be drawn. You will then need to email me your mailing address if I do not already have it, so be sure to watch your email and check the spam folder. There is absolutely no cost to enter. Don’t be alarmed if your comment does not immediately show as they require approval when you are commenting for the first time.

We always provide these giveaways at no charge to our readers. If anyone would like to help with the expenses involved in providing material to people, you may do so via our Fundraiser at GoFundMe.

Some might be interested in a series of lectures by Thomas Fudge on the history of Christianity from the Roman Empire until the Reformation. https://youtu.be/WgTDplQabRk

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