Category: United Pentecostal Church | Page 23

Study and research, or proving you’re right?

When I first started attending a United Pentecostal Church, I “did my research” to find out if they were right. I looked up the verses they gave me to look up, and they’d accurately quoted them. I did NOT read the surrounding verses or consider the Bible as a whole, however, so I didn’t know they were sometimes taken out of context or twisted to fit their desires. I also searched Bible dictionaries and commentaries for the specific words the UPC used… and thought “Wow, even other churches’ commentaries say the UPC is right, even though they don’t follow it’s teaching!” BUT I never checked to see why those other churches did NOT teach like UPC or why they decided to teach what they did.

I run into the same issues today. I and others too often call something “research” when really what we’re doing is trying to find backing for the thing we WANT to believe, rather than looking for the truth in a matter. We want to be right. We want what we now believe to be right. And we’re willing to go to great lengths to silence opposing opinions, when really if we’re seeking truth, we should be doing the real research of studying out those opposing opinions and why people hold them, and comparing them to our own opinions and our reasons for them.

Cults love to “stack” false teachings by using our desire to justify our opinions and be right with a misconception of what study and research really mean. They’ll use obscure sources (or their own publications) to “prove” that what they’re saying is right, without giving consideration to any other perspective. Others “don’t have the truth” or are “lost”. They don’t have the great “revelations” that we’ve now been presented with [and had better accept or we’ll also be lost]. And so begins the stacking process. Then they do this, for example:

1) there is one God. (of course there is)
2) His name is Jesus. (wait, that’s not quite… but they have plenty of verses and we want to understand, and the verses are in the Bible, so…)
3) And every believer should be baptized in Jesus’ name (I was already baptized. Oh, but that’s not how you should REALLY be baptized. But maybe you don’t have this revelation. But if the Father, Son and Holy Ghost is Jesus, then I HAVE been baptized into Christ. No, not the same. The right words weren’t said. But don’t worry about that right now. Just keep coming and you’ll see…)

And after awhile, a person accepts the teaching as true. And because it’s preached often, even to a room full of people who already believe it, it’s reinforced and reemphasized until it becomes fact in their minds.

When I first started attending a UPC, on several occasions I was told not to ask certain questions or think about certain things yet, because they didn’t want to “confuse” me. The truth of the matter was that if I’d considered them at that point, before they’d finished stacking their false teachings in my mind, I WOULD have seen. I would have seen that what they wanted me to believe wasn’t all Truth at all. If I’d known how to research, how to really study rather than just trying to prove my own point or verify theirs, then I would have grown.

It’s easy to prove a point. There’s always someone, somewhere, who will agree that you can use to back your point. But it’s harder to take years of various opinions and consider and weigh all of them. It’s much harder to read about why people disagree with something you want to believe – to read respectfully, without constantly thinking what they’re saying is all wrong, but actually considering their words. It’s hard, but it’s healthy. And often it’s the only way to untangle unhealthy religious teachings at all.

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Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse IV

“Ginger” is a beautiful young lady, talented and poised. The story she shared with me was in drastic, shocking contrast to her appearance. It was unimaginable what she had gone through as a child, what she continues to experience as an adult.

In Ginger’s case, it wasn’t the church who administered the worst part of the spiritual abuse–yet spiritual abuse it undoubtedly was. She describes that “Everything in life was about trying to obtain a spiritual experience, (speaking in tongues).”

Ginger remembers watching as her mother made her older sister give up a beginning career in modelling to pray “for eight hours every night in order to “get saved.” Her sister still had to work eight hours a day at another job. After many months of sleep deprivation, the older sister finally decided to pretend to “be saved.” Is this not torture? Is this not the type of techniques used by the Gestapo, and by other groups who torture prisoners until they finally give up out of physical misery?

Ginger notes that she saw her sister lose the next 22 years of her life to constant prayer, going to church, no dating, and no hobbies. She was 42 when she finally left the home, then ended up lonely, never married, and too old to finish her modelling career.

For Ginger, it all began at just five years of age. She recalls “Sometimes, we had to sit in a cold, dark closet and pray for several hours. We could not ask to come out because she would say that we “were not interested in Jesus.” We were supposed to pray until we showed some sign of “being saved.” That must have been grueling and difficult for a five year old girl.

She recounts how she was in the closet with her other sister, closer to her age, and that eventually “one time my sister stumbled on a few words and my mother thought that she was speaking in tongues.” Ginger says mom then announced that the sister was “saved”. Not content with that small victory, Ginger’s mother then began to use this to torture the little five-year-old, by saying “everyone in this house is saved except you. You’re the only one who is going to Hell.” Ginger remembers that this was the constant narrative until finally, her mother realized that the sister was not really speaking in tongues.

What does that do to a five year old? Can you imagine her sensitive little heart and the threat of hell, just because she had not spoken in tongues?

She goes on to describe how, as they grew older, “things became more strict. During the summers, we’d have to pray from immediately after twelve noon into midnight with few or no breaks. Once, I had to use the restroom and my mother said “go to the restroom, but I hope that you don’t go to Hell while you are in there.”

What kind of anxiety inducing insanity is that? Using the restroom is a human physical need and here we see her being shamed for having physical needs. We see fear tactics being used without any regards to physical human needs.

Ginger tries to explain her mother’s actions by saying, “Breaks during prayer were frowned upon because the thought that it was the Devil’s excuse to stop a prayer. Therefore, any time that a child asked for a break, they thought that it was the Devil speaking through the child.” This line of thought is hardly rational, so where did this belief come from? There is nothing remotely biblical about this philosophy.

Also, attending games, concerts, etc. were not allowed unless it was required for school. Dating was prohibited. In fact, if Ginger or her sisters even mentioned that they wanted a husband, she took it to automatically mean that they didn’t want God. Interestingly, Ginger stated that her father was not in her life, nor was any father figure in the home. This brings her mother’s opinion about marriage into question, as far as motivation. Was her own past experience jading her view? Yet, as most who perpetuate spiritual abuse, she turned her opinions into a “spiritual” cause, in order to control others.

Ginger reflects that “Sometimes, my mother would play games to see if I was Christian enough. One time, she made a song about me going to Hell and decided to sing it over and over to see if I would react.” What kind of mother does that? She continues to describe these “games”…”Another time, she pretended to be dead to see the manner in which I would react.” These descriptions are reflections of the manipulative nature of spiritual abuse. Using fear and shame to shape someone’s decisions and life are not Christ-like techniques to win the lost. These are tactics used in manipulation. These are abusive tactics that took a “spiritual” twist.

Ginger says that “Studying for school was okay, but mom would sometimes try to stop me from reading textbooks because she believed that the Bible was the only book that should be read.” There are other cases where pastors preached against reading any fiction books. In some cases, the pastor would tell his congregation that it was not okay to read any books without his approval. Why is this so? Think about the history of books in Nazi Germany. Why were there book burnings? Books hold the power to expand the mind and affect one’s beliefs. In order to control Germany, there could be no freedom to read books that might disagree with Nazi philosophy. This is an age-old tool to controlling the minds of people. The Bible is important to read, undoubtedly. However, other books can be necessary as well. Jesus gives us freedom to choose. How can one have freedom if mind control is being used?

Ginger’s mother did not stop the abuse when her children reached adulthood. By then, she had a strong control over their minds. Her manipulation tactics were so powerful that, even then, she held them firmly under her thumb. “She kept changing the rules as to when someone was old enough to move out of her home. At first, she said it was after high school. When I graduated, it became the age of 21. When I was turning 21, my mother suddenly received a message from God that I should never marry because ‘God doesn’t like marriage.’ She also changed the age that I could move out to 25.” Here again, what was with the hatred towards marriage? Is it not possible that mother had some unresolved issues with marriage that tainted her view of the subject?

Ginger continues to describe her early adulthood in the home. “During those years, I also had a very strict curfew. Mom had to open and close all doors upon me entering or leaving the house. I could not talk to anyone on the phone without her knowledge, and I wasn’t allowed to do any hobbies for too long without her interrupting and telling me that I was putting the activity “before God.” During this time, I received interviews at the Peabody Conservatory and the Julliard School to study music, but my mother completely prohibited this, saying that I would “go to Hell” if she could not see me, to verify that I was reading the Bible and praying.” Do you hear the control in this? Is this really about spirituality? Is there truly anything righteous in this? What about the command to “save yourself from this untoward generation?” Mom felt she alone was in control of Ginger’s ability to be saved. What a terrible burden to take upon oneself!

Ginger describes how she finally broke free. “Finally, I figured out that she would never let me leave, and I moved out suddenly at the age of thirty without her expecting it. She had a lot of verbal tantrums over the phone, excluded me from a lot of family activities, and gave a lot of silent treatment before she accepted it. She still checks on me from time to time to make sure that I’m ‘still a virgin.'” That last sentence is beyond insane. This is an attractive, intelligent, and successful woman in her thirties, yet her mother still insists on trying to control her from afar. Instead of being proud of the fine young woman she has become, she continues to inquire about private parts of her life and to put her down for her choices to be independent and healthy.

Ginger says that her mother learned most of the rules from the United Pentecostal church they attended, but that they did not see how her mother acted in the home.

She does recall that, “some of our neighbors also attended the church and they didn’t think anything was wrong. I could sometimes hear their kids screaming while being brutally spanked.”

She shares that the church did have slightly different rules on dating. “They allowed it, but only in public and no touching. Also, the woman didn’t have to be attracted to the man but she was still encouraged to accept the date.”

When I asked Ginger how she is affected in her adult life, she shared that she has had to block her family on social media, and she just visits occasionally. She says “I can only have a normal life by keeping my life separate and only visiting on the holidays.” She says that one sister is still trapped, living at home with mom, and that her sister acts maliciously towards Ginger because Ginger has found freedom.

I was impressed with what Ginger has accomplished in her life, in spite of this traumatic upbringing. To be robbed of one’s childhood is a great tragedy. Children must be allowed to play and to explore as part of normal development. To deprive them of this in order to make them pray for so many hours a day under fear of hell fire is terrible child abuse.

Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse
Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse II
Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse III
Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse IV
Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse V

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Melanie, A Minister’s Wife, Shares Her United Pentecostal Experience

Below is the experience of Melanie and Mark who were long-term members of the United Pentecostal Church. They pastored a church for years and Mark held several district positions during his time as a UPC minister. What happened to them isn’t just a one-time incident in the organization, as you will see from a second couple who recently shared a small part of their story. I saw Melanie’s story elsewhere and asked permission to share it here so that others would be able to see it and be helped and encouraged. (Some changes have been made.) The organization doesn’t just bite and devour some of its former members who were never licensed or didn’t hold positions, but they have also done so to their licensed ministers, people who have served the UPCI for years, some for decades.

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Mark was born and raised in the United Pentecostal Church. He is now 54. I left Catholicism and came in at 15 (37 years ago). After biting our (ever bleeding) tongues over hearing and seeing more than any one should hear or see as a Christian, much less as a minister in this organization … and further, after raising our children in this, we finally had enough and left about a year and a half ago. The only regret we have is that we didn’t have the courage to do it sooner.

We pastored for over 30 years in various capacities. Mark held many district positions. His most recent pastorate was for 18 years. When I stop here to say that Mark’s identity and livelihood was tied to the UPC, it is an understatement. His family goes back 4 generations. His great grandfather, grandfather, father, brothers, uncles and some cousins are all ministers. His family is well known and respected in the UPC. Most every member of his family, immediate and extended, are “in church”. As far as Mark’s livelihood goes, Mark worked at a building supply store, besides pastoring full time. Two thirds of our income was derived from the church. We depended on the church for our bread and butter. Mark had always felt it was important to earn his own paycheck from outside the church. We both felt it was important to interact with our small town community. However, to survive without the church income was somewhat impossible, or so we thought.

Now, my upbringing, on the other hand, was quite in contrast to Mark’s. My dad owned a bar and therefore, I was raised on the bar stool … the bartender’s daughter. Very well loved by him and quite protected by his bouncers and bartenders. However, I so desperately wanted to know and understand God, that I was willing to do what I needed to do, so as to “prove” it to Him. In reality, it really ended up that I was proving it to those who were telling me what to do. I truly came into this innocently but with a deep desire to learn about and love God. It wasn’t even a year after we were married when I began to see and question things that didn’t add up. But I buried those questions in an effort not to alarm Mark. Not knowing he had the same questions and concerns. During our 33+ years of marriage, we have seen and experienced more junk in the UPC than I care to mention! But as you also know, we were all taught to bury those concerns or questions and to trust in those who have rule over us, to carry on blindly, to focus on “God and His word,” or what they said was God’s word.

We have 3 children, 19, 21 and 29 years of age. We denied our children (and ourselves) so much life and fun in the attempt to do the “right thing”. I am deeply grieved when I think on it. Thankfully, our three children still love and serve God. They are strong in their faith in Him. They also love and are very loyal to family. We were always very open with them, encouraged discussion and also taught them to question and think for themselves. As a result of our deep discussions, our children each formulated their own beliefs and guidelines which, of course (no surprise), were very different than UPC and in some ways different than ours. We are ok with that. We want them to make their own decisions, just as we wanted to make our own. All 3 of our children and son-in-law chose to stay and help our efforts until we left. They all basically said the same thing but at separate times, when they each came to us on their own. They said since we all felt the same concerning the standards, or should I say legalism, they wanted to help us see this thing through and if we couldn’t see it through together, then they wanted us to all leave together rather than fragment off at separate times. We are so thankful for their moral support! Our children have made us feel so honored and loved. They are such blessings to us!!!

Over the years, we had always tried to do our best and comply with the all the rules in an effort to be pleasing to both God and man, with emphasis on “man”. We hoped we could make a difference in helping the 35+ congregation to see another way, to understand what God’s grace was really all about and to allow them to make their own choices without any interference from us. Sometimes we thought we were making progress. How wrong we were, and on so many counts! In spite of constant looks of judgement and gossip, we truly did love them and so continued at our post. It was a heavy load. We were depressed, bound and always stressed. All of us! I won’t go into the fact that our family had to do nearly everything in the church. That’s another long heart wrenching story.

We finally left after our church board was insisting that I quit my new job as an EMT. I had gone back to school, became an EMT and had been working on the ambulance corp for a year and a half before they found out I was wearing a uniform! …. more specifically pants and only while on duty. A double standard, we know. But, we knew that there might be some of the congregation that might accept my wearing them on the job only and then as a result, we might have an open door in the future to discuss the falseness in their long held beliefs. I know it was probably a futile effort, but we loved the people and so much wanted to open their eyes to God’s understanding, grace and freedom.

Let me point out here, that during Mark’s ministry, he never once preached standards. Mainly because he couldn’t bring himself to preach things he questioned. He always allowed people to make their own choices. However, when it was time for us to experience that same liberty, we were denied it … and with extreme anger judgement, I might add! The church turned on us, so ardently, that many fabricated rumors circulating concern our marriage and children! The shunning was so pronounced, it was as though all the good things and sacrifices we made over 18 years as pastor at this church, were negated from this one act! Of course I was to blame for leading my family astray. The woman is always at fault … Of course they say that because they can “see” the “sinfulness”. Mark was reduced to a non-thinking man that could only follow his wife! And our adult children and son-in-law, well it wasn’t their fault, they had no choice but to follow when the mother fails. When in fact, it was all of us choosing to think for ourselves and make our own decisions!

Anyway, there were so many major controlling and insulting issues over the years (too many to count) that should have made us walk away many years ago, but this was the final straw. I was only wanting to help by ministering to the practical needs of my neighbors and surrounding communities. I guess only “sinner” EMT women can minister in this way. None of the church folks would refuse help from a “sinner” EMT woman if she showed up. Anyway, I could rant on and on over the “should haves and could haves” but the simple fact is, we finally did it. We resigned and all left the same night. It was the best decision we ever made. It’s sad to say, but no one from the district has tried to contact us to see how we are. Mark even tried to ask to meet with some of the district board to discuss his concerns and differences before he made the decision to leave…. no bites. It’s painful and hurts deeply to realize their acceptance or approval of us was predicated upon our compliance. In spite of Mark’s good standing throughout all his life in the UPC, no one thought him important enough to check on on him and his family, or even throw him a lifeline. The hateful way we were treated over the couple months before we chose to resign, is more than I can write here. The shunning by the ladies alone was heart wrenching and painful. I became an outcast. No one would speak to me at service, for the most part I was ignored. There is so much more I could add, but I’ll stop now.

I still sometimes have to vent as things surface, but to dwell on them and continue to be angry about them is not something I want to subject myself to. To do so (to me) would make me feel and appear to God as though I am unthankful for His deliverance from this bondage of legalism. Besides, it really only hurts me and not those that have hurt me. The hardships, the lies, the loss of our good UPC standing, the loss of a lifetime network of friends and family, the pain of rejection, the public shaming that I have experienced (verbally in very public places) and the shunning cannot be compared to the the grace, the freedom, the happiness and the joy we now experience in God! Our good financial name has not suffered in the least. God provided ways for us to earn a living that we had not foreseen and would not have foreseen, had we not taken that leap of faith. My income as an EMT doubled since last year and Mark received an increase as well as the opportunity to work overtime every week. We don’t have much but we have enough to pay the bills and we are much happier and at peace. God has provided what we needed. We will never again allow ourselves to be dependent on any church for any amount of income. We are much happier not feeling obliged to the church in any way and earning our own way.

Our family is so much closer and so much happier than we have ever been. No more tension and scrutiny in our home. No more attempting to make sure we are complying to what others think. No more dread of and/or arguing on Sunday mornings and evenings. We look forward to Sunday mornings and going to a free thinking church. We all made our own decisions as to where we wanted to attend after taking a break. And to our surprise, we all ended up at the same church (a community minded Church of God, that does not subscribe to organized religion) and we still gather for Sunday dinner at our house every week. And no evening service! We have time for rest and family. Imagine that! Wow, what freedom! … What peace! What joy! It brings Mark and I so much joy to watch our children and their families live life freely. We have acquired a daughter-in-law and a grandson since we left. What a comfort to know our grandchildren will not be tainted by the UPC’s destructiveness and control.

We are free to love God and love our neighbors as we read it and see it in His word. We no longer serve other men’s convictions. We are free to apply the Scriptures to our lives and work out our own salvation as His word states we are to do. We are FREE at last! Best decision EVER! We are so happy, I smile and have tears of joy when thinking about it …. which is often, indeed. We are truly happy at last. BEST decision EVER!

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Note from Lois: Some may be interested in also watching two videos with Esther and Brian Henry, former United Pentecostal Church missionaries to Papua New Guinea. They were also pastors at a UPCI church in Wisconsin. The Wisconsin District of the UPCI and the District Superintendent at that time treated them very poorly. We also have a five part series about people where various people share about being harmed in the United Pentecostal Church.

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Children Raised Under Spiritual Abuse III

In my career as a social worker, we have case studies that we use to examine a person’s life story in order to assess and evaluate how to best help the individual. When we are sharing with other professionals, we give the individual client a made up name in order to protect their privacy.

I have chosen this method to introduce to you some people I have known who have shared with me their stories of being raised in a spiritually abusive environment. Because of being raised in such a climate, many of these individuals still have parents or other family members who are in these groups, and therefore do not want to be identified in a public blog, due to the very difficult task of trying to maintain family relations with loved ones who are still in the group. I have honored their need for confidentiality.

Grace was born into the spiritually abusive environment she now believes to be a cult. Her father was a United Pentecostal Church ordained minister, and both grandfathers were also ordained in the same organization. Grace’s parents were evangelists, traveling around and preaching almost every night of the week for different churches in the United States. This was many years ago and Grace’s parents traveled by auto, staying in the homes of the pastors for which they preached.

During this time period, Grace was approximately two months old when her father decided one day that her screaming was “anger”, and that she was “throwing a tantrum.” He spanked her infant legs with his hand, a couple of swats to make it sting and begin teaching her early that “anger is a sin.” At her next doctor’s appointment, it was discovered that her mother, who’d been trying to breastfeed her, was not making enough milk, and the cries were cries of hunger and tummy discomfort. Grace is unclear about her parent’s feelings in this regard, simply stating that they recorded it in her baby book with a “ha, ha” beside the date of her “first spanking,” even after they knew about the hunger.

Grace says her parents did love her and did not intend to be cruel, but the toxic environment was one both of them had been raised in, and they were simply doing what they thought was right at the time, based on their intense devotion to the God they’d been taught to believe was a demanding God of judgement.

Grace describes how her parents bragged for many years to their saints and to her and her siblings that they knew how to “train a child” to “behave in the house of God,” because they had trained her at nine months of age to “sit on the front row” during song service, alone with no adult. “If you got up or turned around, one of us would come off the platform (her mom was playing an instrument and her dad was leading service) and spank you, then sit you back down. You learned quickly. We know even babies can be trained.” Grace says their reasoning for this was that they were “home missionaries” starting a church and did not have a trustworthy adult yet converted to help watch her during service.

Grace says that some of her earliest memories were related to church. She says she can strongly relate to a title of a pop song that recently became popular, called “Sit Still Look Pretty,” because that was what she was told to do often as a little girl. She remembers wearing ruffled dresses with itchy tulle slips under them, squirming because she was uncomfortable in those clothes as they irritated her skin, but she would often be reprimanded for moving or swatted on the leg if she could not sit still.

She remembers her grandmother being reprimanded from the pulpit by her father, during one of his sermons, because the grandmother was drawing pictures for her to keep her entertained during the long sermons that were completely beyond her ability to understand.

Grace remembers taking candy from a Sunday School room at about age five and then, when her mother found out, she told Grace that it was stealing, it was a sin, and she would be lost for taking candy like that. She was led in a prayer of repentance and sent to apologize to the Sunday School Teacher. She still remembers the heavy sense of guilt, though she really didn’t know it was stealing when she did it.

From age five, when her sense of sin was awakened by the “stealing” event, Grace describes how she would “seek the Holy Ghost” every service, going down to the altar and kneeling there as long as she could stand it to pray and ask for the experience of speaking in tongues. This went on every service for three years, until she finally received the experience at the age of eight. She remembers being baptized “in Jesus’ name” not long before that, and how “I really did feel very clean and light inside,” but wonders if it was the baptism itself or the belief in what it was doing (taking away her sins).

Grace recalls a time around nine years of age when “we were having a shouting service” and she and a friend around the same age fell out on the floor and rolled back and forth “because we had heard them preach about holy rollers being really spiritual”. Adults stopped them from continuing, but she remembers being confused about why they would lift up such a thing verbally, but yet stop the girls from actually doing it. She remembers a mixture of shame and confusion about the incident.

Out of 12 years of education, Grace says only two and a half years were in a public school. “Three years were our own church school, and the rest of the time I was home-schooled.” She says she did not learn some of the things that are normal for school aged young people to learn. “I never learned anything about Greek mythology, and even the philosophers were barely mentioned in the context of Paul’s visit there.” She relates that her education was very poor in mathematics, and that she distinctly remembers her father slapping her when she couldn’t figure out how to do a math problem. She remembers a lot of yelling at her as well, when it came to learning math.

Grace describes herself as a “very shy, timid teenager, easily brought to tears.” She says that, because of the environment, she was highly sensitive and full of shame and guilt that was largely misplaced.

“The church rules…you never questioned them”. She learned as a toddler that pants, cut hair, and makeup were sins for women and she would point out people she saw wearing these things and ask her mother “Is that lady Catholic?” She apparently equated sinfulness with the Catholic religion, as is so often done over UPC pulpits.

No jewelry of any kind was allowed, and strict rules governed the sleeve length and dress length of her clothing. “We stopped wearing short sleeves when I was about ten,” she remembers. No slits of any length were ever allowed in skirts, and sleeves were required to be below the elbow. Hems were below the knee “sitting, standing or kneeling.” She said her long uncut hair was at one time to her ankles, “but we were not allowed to wear our hair down if we were going to be on the platform. It was considered stringy and unkempt.” She remembers that, when going around family members who were not in the group, her parents would make sure she braided her hair or wore it in a bun so that “we will be a good testimony to the family.” Somehow, even though her hair was praised and glorified throughout her lifetime, Grace knew that it looked “like a hippy” when it was down and obviously untrimmed.

Grace calls herself a “girly-girl” because she always loved beautiful things, but says that she had to confine it to lace and flowers for most of her life because most pretty things were forbidden–such as jewelry, makeup, nail polish, etcetera.

Grace describes hearing many sermons about women staying in their place, but mostly from her father’s associates, not from him. She says this is probably likely to the fact that his mother was also a preacher when he was a child. However, submission was a topic that was preached in great doses, especially submission to one’s husband and primarily to the pastor.

Grace ends our interview by relating that she feels the most harmful part of being raised in this environment was the fact that the parents controlled the children to such a degree, and then her parents used the pastoral role to control her even further. “The pastor could tell you to do anything, even if the Bible didn’t say do it. You had to do it because the pastor said and if you didn’t you were going to hell, because the pastor was God’s man and you had to obey him as if he was God.” Grace says that, where parental boundaries fell short, her father was adept at “pulling the pastor card” in order to control her.

“I finally left his church when, as an adult in my thirties, I was told I had to have his permission to have people over to my house and he was in control of the guest list.” This was in his role as her pastor, not her father.

Grace’s story is only one of many that I hope to introduce you to over the next few posts. An entire life from babyhood into middle adulthood can hardly be summed up in this short article, but I have tried to include some of the most powerful stories that Grace shared about what it was like to grow up in this environment, virtually brainwashed by the isolation and involvement in such a group.

(To be continued)

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Jason Hubacek UPCI Sexual Abuse Case: Complaint To Kevin Prince

This is part eighteen in a series of articles. You may want to first read this one as it covers the very basics of this case as well as part two as it looks at the church guidelines regarding children, as well as questions about them, and includes two court documents. This pertains to the recent sentencing of pedophile Jason Charles Hubacek of Beaumont Texas, who had been a member of at least two affiliated United Pentecostal Churches: Abundant Life Sanctuary in Groves, Texas and The Anchor of Beaumont in Beaumont, previously known as the First United Pentecostal Church of Beaumont and New Life Tabernacle. Some background on the latter may be found in the first article. He was at the Anchor for a short period and taught Sunday School there. (Some statements in this article are what have been alleged by people with whom I have been in contact, who are well acquainted with this situation.)

We may never know how many victims there are as it’s clear Hubacek didn’t care if a child was an infant yet in diapers, someone who would be incapable of comprehending or articulating what was done to them by a pedophile. A most frightening aspect is that for around ten years Jason C. Hubacek was permitted to work with children at these two churches, allowing him to come in contact with an untold number of children. (As mentioned in the first article, he also was involved in events at other churches.) It is my opinion that part of that fault lies with the first judge that handled the case years ago when Jason was first publicly accused of molesting children and the other part lies with Abundant Life Sanctuary for only going by a judge in a divorce case proceeding and dismissing these accusations when allowing him to work with children in various capacities, even after several people allegedly approached them through the years with serious concerns. His activity in the church should have been strictly limited to adults, erring on the side of caution, considering the severity of the sexual abuse accusations.

This article has minimal commentary and will mainly focus on two letters from a former member of Abundant Life Sanctuary who dated Hubacek in between his two marriages. She alleges that herself, a sister and her husband, as well as others, did bring their concerns about Jason Hubacek to the attention of David and/or Sandra Myer after the original divorce court case. At least one of those happened in early 2012 and two others in 2015. The church, in its September 19, 2018 letter to members, denied any such thing saying, “We never once received an accusation of sexual misconduct against Jason from anyone in the church or anyone whose child attended our church.” Image link for page 1, page 2 of the letter.

Between the asterisks is a certified letter sent to Kevin L. Prince, the current Texas District Superintendent. It was received and signed for on October 9, 2018 [proof of receipt from the USPS] and the sender has never heard anything back from him as of the writing of this article. [Note: At the time, she was unaware of the requirements needed in order to file an official complaint with the UPCI, such as the need for at least two signatures of witnesses.] According to Article V, Section 2 of the judicial procedure of the United Pentecostal Church, Kevin Prince should have sent a response immediately requesting additional information from the sender. “Upon the receipt of a complaint that does not have the required information (see Article I, Section 2, Paragraph 2)[screen shot], the District Superintendent shall inform the signatories of the need of further appropriate information to meet the requirements.” Once all required information is received, the Superintendent has thirty days to “appoint two (2) ordained ministers of the district to serve with him as the investigative committee.” Should a complaint be dismissed, they must “notify the accused minister and the persons who initiated the complaint.” Instead, all this woman has heard was silence from the Texas District of the UPCI. [screen shot of Article V from 2018 UPCI Manual: page one, page two]

The letter to Kevin Prince was later brought to the attention of David Bernard, General Superintendent of the United Pentecostal Church, in a recent exchange on his Facebook profile. This discussion is how I initially heard about the case. On the evening of November 11, 2018, Bernard responded to this woman, “I will find out what you are talking about, since the social media posts are so confusing. Again, I don’t do business over social media, for this very reason.” [screen shot of part of the discussion] To date she has not heard from Bernard. [Note added the afternoon of November 20 Very interesting development- since this article went live around 1am today, the quote in it that I shared from David Bernard has been removed from his profile. Also the woman who wrote the letter to the TX District Superintendent has been banned from Bernard’s profile. Additional conversations in the same discussion have also been removed, including ones about Bobby Hart still being licensed. (That is a totally different case.) Does this mean that Bernard will no longer be looking into the letter she sent? Why would you ban someone who is concerned about the welfare of children who have been around a pedophile?]

The personal information of the sender has been removed from the letter to Prince as has the last name of one individual mentioned. Below it you will find her letter to Judge Stevens that is referenced in the letter to Kevin Prince. It contains numerous thoughts regarding Hubacek as well as statements that concerns were reported to David and Sandra Myer. [May 29, 2024 Edit: David Myer passed away on September 10, 2020.]

More may be written about Jason Hubacek’s case in the future.

June 14, 2019 Note: On May 10, 2019, Kevin L. Prince stepped down as the District Superintendent. Jeffery P. “JP” Story, an ordained UPC minister, has taken his place. As of the date that Prince stepped down, he never responded to Carrie.

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October 3, 2018
Kevin Prince
Texas District Superintendent – UPCI
4109 S 1st St.
Lufkin, TX 75901

Dear Mr. Prince,
I am writing to you due to a grave concern I am trying to get someone to address.

I am a former member of Abundant Life Sanctuary in Groves, Tx pastored by David and Sandra Myer and Jason Myer.

On September 17, 2018 one of their Sunday School Teachers, Van driver and Usher, Jason Charles Hubacek, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for 3 counts of Aggravated Sexual Assault and 4 counts of indecency with a child. These children were his three daughters that he abused while a member of ALS.

I formerly dated Jason Hubacek for a brief period of 4 months and witnessed things that caused me concern. He had unrestricted and unsupervised access to children even after these pastors were told he was a pedophile by his ex-wife and members of her family. Jason’s ex-wife was the first person that tried to talk to them about what all he had done to their girls. She was a member of Abundant Life Sanctuary at that time. Another member of ALS, also the uncle of the children and David Myer’s close friend, Freddie [last name removed], spoke with David Myer concerning the allegations the children were making.

Please check on the children of this church. These pastors protected a pedophile for over ten years. He confessed to the Myers and they allegedly paid his bail even after they knew the details of his crimes and appeared with him in court when his own family would not. Amidst the backlash of their congregation finding out what this monster did to children they personally knew, his own children, the pastors recently gave a written statement (attached) which included that they were never told of any concerns of sexual misconduct regarding this member. I did come to them. My sister did come to them. My brother in law did come to them, all on separate occasions regarding different matters of sexual misconduct over a period of two years. There are also other outside believers who attend church elsewhere that came to them with concerns.

The statement that the Myers made had no reference to remorse, compassion or apologies to the victims and their family. It did not address the all too real fact that pedophiles abuse many children over a span of many years before being brought to justice. I understand they feel the strong need to protect themselves and my only intention is for someone to please check on the children that Jason Hubacek supervised and picked up on the bus Ministry, especially the ones he drove home in his personal truck with no other adults present. I personally witnessed him doing so.

I provided a similar statement to this one to the District Attorney who then presented it to Judge Stevens who determined Jason Hubacek’s sentence. The judge specifically stated that he had received statements from church people in defense of this pedophile and that he was not going to consider them for even a moment. I cannot shake the urgency that someone needs to check on all the children this man interacted with and very possibly groomed and/or harmed. Please do not ignore this crucial and devastating issue.

Sincerely,
Carrie Loftin Mena

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This is the letter sent to the district attorney that was to be forwarded to Judge Stevens prior to Hubacek being sentenced. It has been more heavily edited due to the personal information shared.

It is my concern and suspicion that more children have been affected by Jason Hubacek.

He had free unrestricted access to children for 10+ years at Abundant Life Sanctuary church in Groves, Tx. The pastors, David and Sandra Myer, attended court with him when he was initially accused of sexual abuse of his toddler daughters. After he was acquitted, they allowed him to serve in the capacities of sunday school teacher, church van driver and church usher. There were no cameras in the church so no way of monitoring any areas. The Sunday school classroom was also next to the kitchen which had a secluded pantry/closet in the back that the children could go in and get snacks, presenting many opportunities for him to be alone with a child if he chose. He was often taking kids home in his personal vehicle by himself with no other adult present. I personally witnessed these occasions. The church had a policy that if picking up/dropping off SS kids in the church van, there had to be two adults present. As an usher, he was instructed to follow children out if they left out of the auditorium alone, just to monitor and make sure they were not playing and ensure they returned to service promptly. This would have also given him many opportunities to be alone with children.

A friend of mine told me last week that when her son was baptized at church in 2016, Jason Hubacek is the one who was with him alone to supervise him changing into a baptismal robe. The boy was ten years old.

My connection and background:

I briefly dated Jason in 2010…met him July 4th, 2010 at the Abundant Life Sanctuary church in Groves, Tx at a 4th of July celebration.

I have a degree in Social Work, but am not a licensed social worker. I worked with Workforce Solutions in Port Arthur as a case manager with our Non-Custodial Parent jobs program, serving as a resource partner at Jefferson County Courthouse with the Child Support Office. I worked for 13 years in Social Services before becoming a stay home mom in 2014.

Shortly after I started dating Jason in 2010, my older sister had concerns about me getting him close to our 2 year old niece because of the prior allegations with his daughters….He and I were at my other sisters house and I sent out a picture of him laying on the loveseat with my niece on top of him…there was a bit of a family disagreement over this and so I told Jason all about it.

His demeanor immediately changed and he seemed desperate to convince me it was a lie….he also slowly started distancing himself from me and we were broke up by the beginning of December 2010, but he made sure to still be super nice to me as if to stay in my good graces.

My sister and her husband had known him since 2007 and did break off the relationship he had formed with them and my niece but Jason still pursued my niece….any time he was near her at church or in Sunday school he made a point of teasing her and making her laugh just to keep a steady contact and rapport with her. He would watch her from across the church building….and even though my brother in law would give him dirty looks, he would still try to talk to my niece. My family and I stopped going to Abundant Life Sanctuary for 3.5 years.

When my niece got older, my sister and her family returned to ALS and my niece understood to stay away from Jason and never be alone with him. Jason still tried to speak to her every chance he got so my sister and her husband went to Pastor Myer and asked that they tell Jason to leave her alone. One specific occasion occurred where Jason thought [name of niece removed] was alone in the hallway at church and he tried to walk with her and my brother in law appeared from behind, took Jason by surprise and stopped him and told him to his face to stay away from his daughter.

Jason once told me about a kid named [name of minor boy removed] from his Sunday school class. A boy about 9 years old who would come to church on the church van. [Name of minor boy removed] stopped coming to Sunday school for a whole year and they later found out it was because he had been sexually abused. When he finally was convinced to come back again on the church van he was still withdrawn at church. This would have been around years 2009-2010. [Note: It has since been confirmed that Hubacek was not the molester in this case.]

[Name of minor girl removed] is [name of minor boy removed]’s sister and she was very attached to Jason. Always hugging him, getting candy from his pockets, always around him. When she created a Facebook page and sent him a friend request he made sure to tell me she had sent him the friend request. She was probably about 11 years old then but her Facebook picture was a bit risqué.

There was a weird occurrence with a friend of his who was also a youth pastor at another church.

Jason and I saw his friend, [male name removed] and his family along with other church members on a Sunday night at Mazzio’s pizza place in Port Arthur, Tx. Jason spent the whole time playing with [male name removed]’s little girls (approx 4 and 5 yrs old). He later told me that after dropping me off, he stopped by [male name removed]’s house because the girls had wanted candy and he didn’t have any in his pockets but then he found some in his truck so he stopped by to give it to them even though it was past 10pm. [Male name removed] wouldn’t let him in the house….said the girls were already in bed. [Male name removed] was also his co-worker at Johnson Controls.

Another weird occurrence that I include because Jason has one sibling, [female name removed], who he is very close to. She and her husband and toddler twins lived in close proximity to Jason in Beaumont when he lived with his parents. They were always at one another’s homes, at least weekly, and the toddlers (a boy and a girl) were very close to Jason.

Jason’s niece- [name of minor girl removed]. Her parents are [female name removed] and [male name removed].

[Name of minor girl removed] was in daycare in 2011 and [female parent’s name removed] told me that the little girl had a favorite hooded jacket that she loved. It was summer time and the lil girl would insist on wearing it to school, refuse to take it off, wore it around the house, with it zipped up and the hood over her head and face and just play like that. If anyone tried to take it off she screamed and cried and fought them. [Name removed] would have to force it off her for bath time and the lil girl would be sweated down, hair wet from wearing it.

At present time, there is a story floating around that what actually precipitated Jason’s confession in 2017 is an incident happened at his then current church in Beaumont, the Anchor church. It involves an incriminating photo on his phone which his wife, [name removed], took to their pastor and that’s when Jason supposedly confessed. Jason was asked not to return back to the church and [name removed] divorced him. He went to his ex-wife [name removed] to also confess to her and he went to his former church, the above mentioned Abundant Life Sanctuary to also make some sort of confession to that pastor. Regarding what or who, I do not know. After that is when he confessed to Detective Hudson.

It is my hope that any and all such information will help to provide Judge Stevens with all the information he needs in order to render the maximum sentence for Jason Hubacek on September 10.

Thank you for your assistance and service to the community.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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