Category: Churches | Page 36 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Free: From Legalism to Grace Breaking Out of the United Pentecostal Church Book Giveaway

As with all of our giveaways, this is only open to those with a USA mailing address.

The true tragedy of this reality is many good people are honestly doing the very best they know how, but are tangled up in this religion. Many people I know are living a life of spiritual bondage with the purest intentions. They feel oppressed, but don’t know why. They are questioning things that maybe don’t feel right to them, dismissing it as their issue. Wanting to ask questions or even leave, but can’t because they fear losing relationships with loved ones or worse, having a reprobate mind and going to hell. This is why I cannot keep my mouth shut. They are the reason I want to share my story. – Jennifer Brewer

This is your chance to receive a new copy of Free: From Legalism to Grace Breaking Out of the United Pentecostal Church by Jennifer Brewer. One copy will be given away. The book was released in August 2019 and is the third memoir from 2019 that deals in part with the United Pentecostal Church. Available in paperback and Kindle, it is 124 pages and sells for $6.99 or $3.99 for the Kindle version. If you purchase the paperback, you can receive the Kindle for only 99 cents. Earlier this year we were able to give away three copies of the first UPCI related memoir from 2019, The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid by Ronna Russell, and have a current giveaway in progress for Let’s Go to California: The Story of the Singing Holley Family by Margaret Toedy Duke.

The idea of leaving although appealing was daunting. I was acutely aware of how everyone would think about us. All of the people we knew and loved, including my family, would genuinely be concerned for our souls. They would feel we had left the “truth” and be bound for hell. They would view us as souls to be saved, their personal mission field. …From the beginning, we had wanted nothing more than to reaffirm our childhood beliefs by studying out God’s word. Instead, God guided our studies from the get-go and had shown us in indisputable ways the errors of our current doctrine.

This giveaway is a drawing and not a first come, first served giveaway. To enter, just leave a comment to show you wish to be included. The drawing will close on Saturday August 24 at 8pm (eastern time), after which I will draw the winner. You will then need to email me your mailing address if I do not already have it. There is absolutely no cost to enter. Don’t be alarmed if your comment does not immediately show as they require approval when you are commenting for the first time.

We always provide these at no charge to our readers. Two copies of this book were previously given away in our support group on Facebook.

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Let’s Go To California – Singing Holley Family Book Giveaway

As with all of our giveaways, this is only open to those with a USA mailing address.

We were picked on and criticized for the way we looked by some church members. On one occasion back east a preacher cancelled our revival two days before we were to start because one of his members told him that he saw us looking worldly. Marble had a scarf around her neck tied in a pretty flower bow. The man said it was a choker and that was frowned upon in the UPC church. …Another minister cancelled us because my hair ‘looked cut.’ My hair had never been even trimmed. Another church cancelled us because Jerry’s hair was real curly. It seemed everywhere we turned, we were giving our all for something that was giving us nothing in return. – Margaret Toedy Duke

This is your chance to receive a new copy of Let’s Go to California: The Story of the Singing Holley Family by Margaret Toedy Duke. One copy will be given away. The book was released in May 2019 and is another memoir that deals in part with the United Pentecostal Church. Available only in paperback, it is just over 100 pages and sells for under $4.00. Earlier this year we were able to give away three copies of the first UPCI related memoir from 2019, The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid by Ronna Russell. There is a vast difference between the quality of these two books, with Ronna’s being by far the best.

We always provide these at no charge to our readers. A copy of this book was previously given away in our support group on Facebook.

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Informational post on speaking in tongues #12: Stammering Lips

This is just a little ‘did you know’ informational post on the subject of speaking in tongues, shared as some food for thought. Often when we were in our former unhealthy churches, we did not stop and see if things we saw, experienced and were taught were found in the Bible. For Pentecostals, this is one of those teachings/experiences.

We saw people with quivering lips during a church service and were taught that this is the ‘stammering lips’ spoken of in Isaiah. Many of us experienced this ourselves. People who had not yet spoken in tongues would be told the Holy Spirit was all over them if their lips started trembling. They were seen as just not letting God’s Spirit inside, through lack of faith, pride or perhaps sin. This is seen as a sign in Pentecostalism.

Yet here is where we didn’t realize that there wasn’t anywhere in the entire New Testament that spoke of or showed that the lips of a believer were trembling. There is no teaching in any of the epistles that would lead us to believe that this is a sign that the Holy Spirit is all around someone and wants the person to speak in tongues (another language for those not acquainted with Pentecostalism). There are no examples of Peter grabbing anyone’s chin and shaking it upon seeing their lips tremble, saying something like, “It’s right here! He’s all over you! Let your tongue go!” There is no mention of Jesus ever sharing that a sign to look for is when the lips of a person tremble. In none of the three places in Acts where we see it mentioned that people spoke in tongues, do we read that their lips were quivering. And yet, in spite of all this, many accepted, perpetuated and practiced a teaching that is non-existent in our Bibles.

In the KJV, ‘stammering’ is seen only twice and it is in the Old Testament: Isaiah 28:11, which says stammering lips, and Isaiah 33:19, which speaks of a stammering tongue. Each comes from a different Hebrew word. (There is also Isaiah 32:4 : “The heart also of the rash shall understand knowledge, and the tongue of the stammerers shall be ready to speak plainly.” Stammerers in this instance, illeg, only occurs one time and the word means speaking inarticulately and to stutter.)

Isaiah 28:11-12 states, “For with stammering lips and another tongue will he speak to this people. To whom he said, This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing: yet they would not hear.” You may not realize this, but Paul references this passage in 1 Corinthians 14 when he shares in verse 21, “In the law it is written, With men of other tongues and other lips will I speak unto this people; and yet for all that will they not hear me, saith the Lord.” Do you see the difference in the wording and that Paul never mentions stammering lips?

The verse is translated various ways in different versions of the Bible. The NIV records it as “In the law it is written, With men of other tongues and other lips will I speak unto this people; and yet for all that will they not hear me, saith the Lord” and the NLT states “So now God will have to speak to his people through foreign oppressors who speak a strange language!” The ESV translates it as “For by people of strange lips and with a foreign tongue the LORD will speak to this people,” while the ISV writes “Very well, then, through the mouths of foreigners and foreign languages the LORD will speak to this people.” None of these translations show anything even remotely resembling a teaching about quivering lips.

So how did this one mention of ‘stammering lips’ in Isaiah (KJV) come to mean what is taught and seen in many Pentecostal type churches today? If we go to the original word meaning, it doesn’t come from there, either. It means mocking. The word has nothing to do with quivering or trembling lips. Spend some time in Strong’s, various lexicons and Bible commentaries and see the actual meaning and don’t accept the distorted meaning that some groups and churches use today.

You may also be interested in watching Aurelio Lessey’s video on stammering tongues.

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A Day Of Reckoning For Calvary Gospel Church

This is Part 23 of an ongoing series of articles pertaining to sexual abuse and the United Pentecostal Church. It is the eighth article addressing Calvary Gospel Church in Madison, Wisconsin and Steven J. Dahl of the Pentecostal Lighthouse Church in Oconto. As you read this article, keep in mind that I must call what I am sharing to be allegations because no one has [yet] been arrested, charged or convicted of a crime. It’s what happens when people fail to report child sexual abuse to police or CPS. It doesn’t mean I do not believe the reports of these survivors, of which there are many. I do believe them, stand firmly with them, and support them.

Just as the church has authority to examine and approve ministerial candidates, so it has authority to remove someone from a ministerial position if he no longer meets God’s requirements. Actually the person disqualifies himself by his actions, and the church simply recognizes this fact. Solomon permanently removed Abiathar from the high priesthood, a hereditary role explicitly ordained by God, because of his rebellion (I Kings 2:26-27). – David Bernard, January-March 1988 Forward

Today is a day of reckoning, a time for light to shine into the darkness found within Calvary Gospel Church. No more can certain alleged crimes, sins and the mishandling of child sexual abuse be kept from its members. While the leadership of John Wesley Grant and his son, Roy Grant, have controlled what information has been shared with members, they cannot control what is happening today because it has reached outside their walls and gone public for the world to see. While they may be able to manipulate and pull the wool over the heads of some who enter their church doors, they will not be able to do so as the public learns of decades of horror that some members have suffered.

They have had more than a year to come clean, to admit they failed to protect children and to report crimes against them, but instead of reaching out in humility to those harmed, they have attempted to create an us versus them mentality among its members, crying out how they are not a cult, and going so far as to read Scriptures just last Wednesday and proclaim that the survivors who have come forward have brought damnation upon themselves. More than a year ago their response was similar when they further victimized survivors by claiming this was a spiritual attack, saying they [the survivors] needed to ask themselves what part they played in why their sexual abuse happened (as if young children play a role in their sexual assault), and have claimed that they always report these cases to the police and that parents didn’t want to report them when police were contacted. This is simply not true. When Debbie McNulty, one of the survivors, went to report her case last year, she discovered that the church had not reported any cases of sexual abuse to police.

We know that Calvary Gospel Church and its leadership have been aware of the articles and blogs written about them. They shut down the review section of their church Facebook Page last year after some former members started leaving negative reviews there. They have deleted comments that some have left on their posts. The same happened with Steven Dahl and he even removed the Facebook Page for his church, changed what was written on his profile, and made it so only friends could comment. The website for his church disappeared as well. He also did not reach out to his alleged victim, Debbie McNulty. He has previously claimed that this was a spiritual attack on him and that he was praying that God “Avenge me of my adversaries.” [scroll down for this comment] He periodically posts about people needing to forgive others, as early as yesterday.

It has come to the place where Katelyn Ferral, a reporter from Capital Newspapers, has heard the voices of the survivors crying out, saying there is something very wrong at this church. She initiated an investigation and her article was released today. Police Chief Mike Koval is now involved in this situation as well. Later today at 11:15 am, at the State Capitol, Senate Parlor, “Wisconsin Senator Lena Taylor, Representatives Chris Taylor and Melissa Sargent will be joined by survivors of childhood sexual assault, the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, (WCASA), the Wisconsin Chapter of The National Association of Social Workers (WI-NASW), and the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) to introduce two major victim rights and child protection bills.” [link] These bills “would significantly reform Wisconsin’s mandated reporting law on child sex abuse and eliminate the civil statute of limitations on child sex crimes.” One would close the current loophole that allows clergy to claim clergy privilege and not report cases of child sexual abuse. The bills need your support and they need to be passed. Debbie McNulty and Rebecca Martin Byrd spoke boldly at this event and afterward they were interviewed by more than one news source. This is just the beginning.

I have been up all night in anticipation of today’s events. My heart goes out to all the courageous people who have stepped forward to shine a light where darkness has prevailed for far too long. May your voices prevail and be heard and may the lies of others be exposed.

I call on David Bernard, the General Superintendent of the United Pentecostal Church, as well as James D. Booker, the Wisconsin District Superintendent, to fully investigate this church and its leadership. Let’s see actions to go along with what you wrote in the 1988 Forward article. I also call on David Bernard to review how United Pentecostal Churches are handling, and mishandling, sexual abuse cases. Introduce a resolution for the organization to take a strong stand against sexual abuse, take action against ministers who fail to report or who cover up these crimes and revoke their ministerial license, and create a policy that clearly states that all your licensed ministers are required to report any suspected case of child sexual abuse regardless of what the law in their state stipulates. There is nothing in your Manual that addresses the need of your ministers and pastors to report abuse.

Jon Eckenrod, a former ordained minister in the UPCI and former associate pastor at Calvary Gospel Church, now says he was aware of instances where older men pursued young girls while he taught at the church and school. He heard rumors of other sexual improprieties with members, but said he always deferred to [John] Grant on how best to handle them and never sought details. – From the article, Stolen childhoods: Women allege they were sexually abused as kids at Calvary Gospel Church in Madison

Katelyn Ferral later released an article about the statute of limitations in Wisconsin, with a picture of Calvary Gospel Church and the notation, “Calvary Gospel Church at 5301 Commercial Ave. in Madison. Numerous former members have said they were abused there as children. They say finances are the only thing holding them back from filing a civil suit against the church and would pursue that route if it is within the state’s statute of limitations for such cases.”

On August 15, a second article was released where another survivor has come forward to tell her story: Another woman comes forward to allege sexual abuse at Madison’s Calvary Gospel Church

“What I didn’t realize is that in addition, they were going to tell all my friends … never to speak to me,” she said. “I don’t even know how to put it into words. We were never allowed to have friends outside of the church or associate with people outside of the church and all of a sudden all of my friends are gone.” – Lisa Kum, child sexual assault survivor, from the article: Another woman comes forward to allege sexual abuse at Madison’s Calvary Gospel Church

On August 19, 2019, Dee from The Wartburg Watch started blogging about this church and the survivors. The second article posted on August 21.

Since this article was released, Calvary Gospel Church has removed their Twitter account. They had previously blocked me some time back when they discovered I was tagging them in some tweets. But on August 8, I discovered after tagging them in things related to this story, that their account is no longer available. It was @CGCMadison.

Note: I have updated this article as events transpired through August 31.

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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Leaving Behind Performance Based Religion

The following is a guest post by John, a former member of the United Pentecostal Church.

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In my world and realm of connection of UPCI (and such like churches), I am noticing a trend. Now I realize this isn’t the same in all circles or regions, but it could be soon.

The once high standards are falling away. The outward standards are being let down, reinterpreted, not preached as much, and in some instances being done away with.

Some churches are allowing saints to go to theaters, sporting events, allow facial hair on men, allow hair coloring, allow hair trimming, allow some make-up, etc…

For someone that left an ultra conservative legalistic Oneness church, this makes it tempting to return to one of these. They can still enjoy the worship service and the friendships they have been accustomed to without as much condemnation or guilt.

I’m going to steal the analogy I heard one of my former pastors use, it’s like putting “lipstick on a pig.” When they remove old standards there are simply new ones that replace them that determine your salvation. The following phrase was often said in such liberal setting, “you can’t behave your way into heaven but you sure can misbehave your way into hell.” It is still performance based religion. Whether it’s your pastor or fellow members watching you to see if you dress or appear right, OR if they are simply watching now if you talk or act right, it’s still the same mindset!

This church culture may start to water down their so-called standards but they will still treat sin the same. Sure they may have more patience, but they will still see you as someone that needs to ‘perform’ the role of a Christian, as they define it, to be saved. They still expect you to ‘fake it until you make it.’ Renaming or redefining the standards doesn’t change the fact they are trying to earn the right to maintain their salvation and it is that mindset that oppressed every man and woman.

I took some time away from a group for about three months. I needed to silence voices from both sides of this spectrum to make sure my influence was that of genuine ‘truth.’ In that time, I have seen how horribly divisive some churches are, even outside of Oneness churches. If you choose to live with God, then do it genuinely, not to please man; do it genuinely, not in hopes to generate a feeling; do it genuinely, not to complete a series of ‘checklists;’ do it genuinely, so that your relationship with him is your own!

Even in the watered down UPCI churches it is still divisive. It is still their ‘Acts 2:38’ message that is the only way, and that ‘my way or the highway’ mentality is a bunch of garbage. For three months I had been a part of a non-denominational Trinitarian church, until I learned they believed that if someone didn’t fully believe the Trinity then they weren’t saved. When I learned this I got so sick to my stomach. It was no different than what I just left. It’s not only the overwhelming standards and micromanaging of lives (not to minimize the affect of this stuff in our healing), but it is that overriding thought process that says beyond ‘belief’ we (a church,) have additional aspects that must be followed. It is this divisiveness that destroys, that generates the judgment, that fuels the micromanaging, that turns the wheels of the performance based religion and oppressed people.

I say all this… I know many are atheist now, or agnostic, or believers but not church goers. For each category I respect and understand your decisions and this isn’t necessarily for you directly. But for those looking or attending a new church, be wise. Even in the liberal Apostolics, Protestants, and non-denominational churches, there are those that have a performance based religion. I’m convinced in such atmosphere you won’t grow. It will be the lipstick on a pig. The same mindset, just different ways of doing it. I’m convinced there are churches that truly allow you to live, to exist without such condemnation. There are churches that believe that God isn’t concerned with changing our outward behaviors, but rather doing a work on the inside, that, yes, will eventually affect our outward behaviors naturally in everyone’s own time, and it’s okay that everyone’s journey is different. I personally am thankful that I have finally found one.

I’ll end with this… I have learned that I am sickened, and dare I say that I think God is also sickened, by churches that are legalistic, regardless if UPCI, Apostolic, Protestant, Non-denominational, or even Catholic/Orthodox. We all came out of an extreme version of it; beware of the more subtle versions as well. I highly recommend that you don’t simply leave a church because it had the name UPCI, to another church simply because it’s name isn’t UPCI. Leave the performance based religion and enter into an actual joyful and liberating walk and journey with God!

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