Category: Churches | Page 19 | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

Blindsided: Our Letter to the Witnesses

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

As we prepared to leave Antioch Baptist Church in early September 2018, I began to assemble a document describing the events that transpired from June 2018 to September 2018 that eventually led up to our departure. This document included, but was not limited to, transcripts of Douglas Stauffer’s voicemail, private Facebook messages between Pastor Andrew Ray, Douglas Stauffer, Matthew Olds, and myself, as well as copies of the email sent to our pastor about the harassment, and summaries of the meetings that took place.

My husband, simply desiring peace, was not supportive of the idea, but Pastor Andrew Ray’s words continued to repeat in my head about how we were not supposed to know that about the letter to the Crawfords*. The church’s letter not only dismissed the Crawfords* from church membership and the Antioch Baptist Bible Institute, but even callously threatened to contact their oldest daughter’s religious educational establishment should their family not leave in a way acceptable to the ones behind the letter! I find it ironic that Pastor Andrew Ray and Douglas Stauffer repeatedly attempted to invalidate my concerns by claiming them as merely transference from my past, and yet, Pastor Andrew Ray stooped as low as my mentor’s husband (Randy) to threaten a teenager’s college education as a means of silencing and control!

Both agreeing that such actions were not only appalling but manipulative, my husband I finally compromised by deciding to limit the recipients of the document we had created to just the few witnesses present at the final meeting with Douglas Stauffer. My husband desired to not cause division or strife, but I had felt strongly that our church needed to know the truth.

A copy of the abstract and list of documents sent to the witnesses is provided below:

To Our Friends and Family at Antioch Baptist Church

Abstract:

This message/email is sent to inform our fellow members and church family at Antioch Baptist Church of events on-going from June 3, 2018 to the beginning of September 2018 despite attempts to reconcile. Despite apologizing for the initial Facebook post, Doug Stauffer continued to harass my family in June. Two months later in August, after my wife attempted the beginning of possibly making amends, he endeavored to bully our family once again under the guise of attempting to move forward. On August 22, 2018, he approached us to say that he wants to clarify things and attempt to rectify the situation, but if not possible, he said that he will step down, leave, and the prior accusations of harassment will be brought before the church. Because accusations of harassment were brought up to Pastor Ray following the incident in June, Stauffer falsely believed himself to be a victim of the #MeToo movement. By further threatening to step down and leave without resolution, he further believed himself to be the victim, rather than the perpetrator. Pastor and Stauffer have continually stated that the accusations are a mere transference of my wife’s history with spiritual abuse to negate the validity of said accusations.

When asking pastor to attend the meeting so he would be aware of threats of stepping down and leaving by a Sunday School teacher, Pastor accused my wife and I of attempting to hurt our church based on actions in June. He further attempted to control the number of witnesses and who the list consisted of, as well as threatened to have men present in the meeting to address these past actions. We have compiled a list of correspondence between Stauffer, Pastor, and my family so that our those present in the meetings can be informed of the facts in case that a men’s meeting is called after we have left the church. This way, at least we may have some representation from those men. We have further decided to leave Antioch Baptist Church for the sake of peace in this situation that keeps blowing up in our faces time and time again. I am aware that sending this may not appear to be peaceable, but we are not wanting everyone in the church to know necessarily. Again, this is simply in case there is a meeting called in which there is a meeting pertaining to my family.

The following is a list of Documents included, [followed] by Key Information about the Documents Included on the following Page:

A. Original Facebook Message by Crystal Olds on June 3, 2018

B. Transcript of Stauffer’s Voicemail to Matthew Olds on June 3, 2018 after Evening Service

C. Transcripts of Stauffer’s Messages at Antioch Baptist Church

D. Facebook Correspondence between Doug Stauffer, and Matt and Crystal Olds

E. Facebook Correspondence between Pastor Ray and Matt Olds

F. New Facebook Apology Post by Crystal Olds

G. Facebook Correspondence between Pastor Ray, Doug Staffer, and Matt and Crystal Olds

H. Private Message Sent from Doug Stauffer to Crystal Olds (Matt Olds not included)

I. Continued Messages between Pastor Ray, Doug Stauffer, Matt and Crystal Olds

J. Replacement Apology Facebook Post by Crystal Olds

K. Summary of Tuesday Meeting with Doug Stauffer, Matt and Crystal Olds, and Grayson Campbell* (witness)

L. Summary of Tuesday Meeting with Pastor Ray and Matt Olds

M. Twitter Post from Doug Stauffer on Thursday

N. Meeting with Pastor Ray on the following Sunday

O. Apology from Doug Stauffer on Monday Evening

P. Apology to Crawfords* on Tuesday

Q. Text Messages Between Pastor Ray and Crystal Olds (Matthew Olds Included) about Apology to Mary*

R. Email to Pastor Ray with Accusations of Harassment from Doug Stauffer and Analysis of Doug Stauffer’s character

S. Meeting with Pastor Ray and Matthew Olds about Email about Harassment

T. Text Message Between Pastor Ray and Crystal Olds (Matthew Olds Included) after Meeting Between Pastor Ray, Matthew Olds and Crystal Olds

U. Doug Stauffer’s August attempts at bullying, creating a hostile environment

V. Phone Conversation with Pastor the Day Before Meeting with Doug Stauffer

W. Meeting with Doug Stauffer with Three Witnesses

X. Letter of Resignation Given to Pastor Ray on Sunday, September 9, 2018 Following the Morning Service

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Finally Speaking Out” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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Blindsided: Out of the Fire… With Buckets of Water

“I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.” – Stephanie Sparkles www.livelifehappy.com

**Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed for the privacy of individuals and their families**

Just A “Typical” Sunday

When Brother Nicholas* preached, “God Leads Us Along,” he probably knew little of the trials and waves that raged about me or the fires that threatened to consume me all those years ago. I believe it was the summer following my college freshman year: spirit broken, courtship called-off, future plans in question, and an agreement made to be completely submitted to the control of my mentor and her husband, Randy, as they helped me pick up the pieces left behind. All three of us believed they were “biblical authorities” in my life, and all three of us agreed (incorrectly) that I had made a mess of my life that year in college.

This particular Sunday was just like any other Sunday that summer, filled with excitement to be at church with God’s people and to hear His Word preached, but it was also just a typical Sunday with an ever-growing list of regulations from Randy based on my actions the previous week. Could this particular Sunday service have followed the week that Randy demanded that I no longer attend our church because of a disagreement between us? Could it have followed the week when instead of passing out tracts in silence, I “disobeyed” by witnessing to a customer I had gotten to know at work? Perhaps it was just another week when I was supposed to go down to the altar and “repent,” and then beg someone to help me because I “needed to get saved.” The consequences of not going down during invitation often involved being severed from their family, knowing I was emotionally dependent upon his wife, until I met yet another ridiculous expectation. He did usually follow up such declarations with an alternative demand, but it was just as outlandish and irrational as the first one.

Though several of my college friends had tried to warn me that something was off about Randy, those concerns only confirmed in Randy’s mind that those friends were ungodly and not “part of the ten percent” of students that were actually at Bible college to serve the Lord. To make matters worse, whenever he found out that I had sought advice out of desperation, he made sure the consequences equaled his view on my “dragging his name through the mud.” Perhaps, instead, this was merely another week that he had accused me of speaking with those friends over the summer after being directed not to contact them for the supposed sake of my spiritual growth. There were literally times in my life when the only one I could turn to was God.

Closing my eyes, I can still hear Brother Nicholas’s* endearing voice echoing sweetly through our little church’s auditorium:

“God leads His dear children along
Some through the waters, some through the flood
Some through the fire, but all through the blood
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song
In the night season and all the day long.”

Brother Nicholas’s* message was like a soothing ointment to my wounds, a gift tenderly bestowed at just the time I needed it most. It was a reminder that no matter what fires I had to walk through, no matter what trials I had to face, the Bible promised that God was a buckler and a strong tower that I could run into for safety as God’s child. No matter how hard the waters raged, God would carry me through, and just like who God was, He would give me a song of peace along the way.

A Time to Speak or a Time to Keep Silent?

The Lord used that message to nourish my soul for years to come, but what if I had heeded my friends’ warnings and advice much sooner? What if the other girls under Randy and my mentor had been warned as well by someone before us? Could that not have limited the extent of Randy’s destruction in our lives? I will never know the answer to those questions, but I have long desired to warn Randy’s future pastors about the man who was outwardly intriguing and lighthearted, but was inwardly a ravening wolf. Considering his focus on teenagers, the probability was high that several teens after me would later reject the Lord because of Randy’s influence, but there was nothing more that I could do.

For the next several years, I began to find my voice after the long periods of silence, and I started to weed through the extreme viewpoints on Scripture and living the Christian life. In the process, I met countless others who had also experienced the tumultuous waves of spiritual abuse. They were abandoned by their pastors, youth leaders, parents and teachers. Their spiritual guides had betrayed their trust, covered up the abuse, and then exalted the ones responsible for the damage, all while leaving the victims to pick of the pieces of their broken lives. I realized that not only should I have spoken up during my time with Randy and his family, but that I could never be silent again. I could never allow myself to hide behind my fears, not just for the sake of my own well-being, but because there were a multitude of people who had escaped but still dealt with the residual trauma day-by-day, and countless victims that were still trapped within the confines of spiritual abuse. Above knowing I needed to speak, however, I made one determination and promise to myself: I would never allow someone to control and silence me again.

Imagine my surprise, when almost nine years later, I found myself in a position where silence about a moral issue- or lack thereof- appeared to affect my husband’s standing in the ministry and his ability to serve! Whether or not this was Douglas Stauffer or Pastor Andrew Ray’s intention, it worked incredibly well.

Back in the Fire

In June of 2018, Douglas Stauffer claimed that there had been a “church rupture” at Antioch Baptist Church in 2017, supposedly “the best thing that could have happened,” but it is my strong opinion that Stauffer’s actions proved that the dangerous infection had merely been left behind by the summer of 2018. After speaking out in June 2018, I feel that Douglas Stauffer used fear and Pastor Andrew Ray used shame to silence me for months, resulting in intense emotional distress on me and my husband, and on my young family as well. We loved our church family, and we felt that same love from the majority of those in our church family, but that same care only increased my struggle to keep silent, further straining my relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, the problem came down to two drastically different options: (1) protecting our unknowing church family and keeping that promise to myself of never being controlled or silenced again while completely disregarding my husband’s wishes or (2) supporting my husband by letting go of myself and my own personal boundaries. I was suffocating between a rock and a hard place.

Waking Up

I often conceded for my husband’s sake and for the sake of our marriage, but by the time Stauffer approached us again in August 2018 in what I felt was a threatening manner, that flicker of strength had already been re-kindled through the validation of my parents, friends, therapist, and multiple other survivors of spiritual abuse. I started to realize that Pastor Andrew Ray and Douglas Stauffer were merely “big fish in a small pond,” and thankfully, Pastor Ray broke the final straw the day before our final meeting with Staufer when Pastor Ray said we were trying to destroy our church by seeking advice back in June. Despite the turmoil between us at the time, Matt and I decided as a team that day that it was our time to leave Antioch Baptist Church in 2018, thereby numbering Pastor Ray and Douglas Stauffer’s days of manipulation and control over my family to a mere seven days.

We were broken. We were trodden down, and there was nothing else for those involved to take, but in September 2018, we gathered our immediate family together, bid farewell to our church family, and ventured off into uncertainty while making our home a “safe place” for our family once again: one that protected us from men like Douglas Stauffer.

Shortly thereafter, I determined once again to take my power back by breaking the silence of what occurred within those walls. The pain in my children’s faces were my living reminders that I needed to warn others about Pastor Andrew Ray, and especially about Douglas Stauffer. Though my desire for speaking out was never to hurt Pastor Ray or Stauffer, I needed to share my story with every fiber of my being so that maybe-just maybe- even one person might heed the warnings one day, and thus be spared the heartache that still impacts my family today.

In this series I share my thoughts and opinions concerning these ministers and the events which led to my departure. Click here to continue reading: “Blindsided: Our Letter to the Witnesses” or click on the link below.

For a list of the complete series, click here.

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When Legacy And Sexual Abuse Collide: John Shivers Part 2

(Some statements in this article are what have been alleged by others. The allegations all appear to be involving adults and not children. There have been no convictions or criminal arrests and to my knowledge, the alleged perpetrator has not admitted guilt.)

This is Part 39 of an ongoing series. Back in March, I posted about a situation in the Western District of the United Pentecostal Church, where it was alleged that one of their pastors had been accused of multiple instances of sexual misconduct. (See Part One.) A complaint had been filed with the Western District in January 2019 and they held an investigation under their judicial procedure and found the minister to be guilty of several serious allegations.

Due to what has been stated in their Manual for years, I believe it is abundantly clear that this minister should have had his license revoked immediately at the end of the investigation. Instead, John Shivers [Video has since been deleted.] was told to resign from the church and undergo more than a year of sexual predator therapy. Because his license was not immediately removed, it is alleged that this continued to be covered up and it was made to appear he was yet the pastor. In addition, as of the 2020 UPCI Directory, which was printed in January, as well as the UPCI online church locator in March 2020, John Shivers was still shown as an ordained minister, with his name listed as the pastor of Centro Vida Church, as well as other churches, though he was no longer mentioned as a District Presbyter, a position which he held for years.

It is my opinion that Shivers may have been treated differently because he married into a famous name within the organization- the Kenneth Haney family. It wouldn’t be the first time a minister was given preferential treatment because of their name or status in the organization. Besides being a pastor, Kenneth Haney served as a General Superintendent, among other things. His father, Clyde, started a UPCI Bible college in Stockton, California, which Kenneth took over after his father’s death. Kenneth and Joy Haney had five children and John Shivers married their daughter, Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Haney.

Besides the accusations against John Shivers, [Note: He has since removed this Facebook profile, but yet has this one.] there are allegations that Kenneth and Joy Haney covered up Shivers’ alleged sexual assault of a student at Christian Life College. It is alleged that Liz Haney was also aware of at least some of the accusations. This entire situation runs very deep in the UPCI and if it is true that the Haney family covered up the sexual abuse of a student, that is inexcusable and reprehensible. Joy Haney yet holds license in the UPCI. The current General Superintendent, David Bernard, would have been made aware of allegations against Shivers at least as far back as when the Western District complaint was filed by one of the victims. The position paper on abuse and sexual misconduct, adopted at the 2019 UPCI General Conference, was at least in part inspired by what has happened in this case.

Despite all this, Shiver’s still was seen speaking at the church on August 5 and guess what he is speaking on? Unforgiveness. (NOTE: Some time after we shared this, the video was made private.)

I will end this by sharing a post made by one of the alleged victims of John Shivers, that was made public by them on Facebook on Sunday, August 2, 2020. [August 8 note: This person has since removed or made private the post.] Please note that the victim mentioned who was allegedly “ignored by the elders of Centro Vida Church and by Bruce Howell” is a currently licensed United Pentecostal minister. It should also be noted that Tim Moran is married to one of the Haney’s daughters. Nathaniel Haney is Kenneth Haney’s son. Bruce Howell is the Global Missions Director of the UPCI. As you can see, this situation has tentacles running throughout the United Pentecostal Church.

PLEASE SHARE this post so that victims who have been silenced, shamed, and threatened, can come forward. Shame belongs to the perpetrator, the enablers, those that covered for the sexual predator. It never belongs to the victim.

“Making it possible to avoid the consequences…” [Lois’ Note: part of the definition of enabler.] How does a (former) minister of the United Pentecostal Church get away with sexual assault, sexual harassment, attempted rape, and 20+ years of being a sexual predator? They are enabled. Kenneth and Joy Haney knew of John Shivers sexual assault of a student at Christian Life College. (as did his wife Elizabeth Shivers, documented and verified) They did nothing. John Shivers was never disciplined. Their lack of action enabled him as a sexual predator for the next 20+ years. After one of his victims was repeatedly ignored by the elders of Centro Vida Church and by Bruce Howell, finally was heard by the Western District Board, John Shivers was investigated and unanimously found guilty. Part of the discipline enacted by the Western District Board was John Shivers was required to resign as pastor of Centro Vida Church. However, it was hidden from the saints at Centro Vida Church as Nathaniel Haney, and Tim Moran, lied to the Centro Vida church (from the pulpit, on video) about the reason John Shivers was no longer in the pulpit. Quote from Nathaniel Haney addressing the Centro Vida Church:

“your pastor never takes any time off, he burns the candle on both ends, but after a while you start getting empty if you don’t take some time to fill back up. . . so Pastor Shivers is filling up right now, so he can come back and feed his people, …we want Pastor Shivers to have that time alone with God… let’s pray that God will speak to him, God will give him new revelation and he will move deeper in the Spirit that he has ever been.”

Tim Moran lied (from the pulpit, on video) to the saints at Centro Vida about John Shivers no longer being the pastor. Instead of telling the truth he instead on a Sunday morning before Elizabeth Shivers took the pulpit (she refused to leave the church even though her husband was no longer pastor, furthering the cover-up of her husbands resignation as pastor) told the church:

“Sister Shivers will be speaking this morning….Her (Liz Shivers) and her husband (John Shivers) are the Pastors of Centro Vida and oversee Life Church. We are the Pastors of Life Church, but we are accountable to them, and they are the seniors pastors. So if you want to know how it’s organized, that’s how we’re organized. We all have to have accountability, we all have to have authorities in our lives.”

After repeatedly failing to adhere to the discipline set down by the Western District Board, John Shivers was stripped of his UPC ministerial license and permanently banned from the UPCI by the Western District Board.

Victims of John Shivers or any other UPC minister/pastor should know that you have as allies, David Bernard, and the Western District Board. They will take action on your behalf. You will not be ignored, you will not be shamed. Your voice will be heard.

Unfortunately, the voices of the women from Calvary Gospel Church have not been heard by David Bernard or the Wisconsin District Board.

Part Three

August 24, 2022 edit: Today the Stockton Record released an article about John Shivers. You must have a digital subscription to read it. See https://www.recordnet.com/story/news/2022/08/24/pastor-john-shivers-accused-sexual-assault-preaching-stockton-centro-vida-pentecostal-church/5695797001/

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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An Introduction To Elephants

The following was written by former United Pentecostal Church minister Jon Eckenrod, and used with his permission. Jon held license for about twenty years and left the organization in 2007.

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I also want to say a word to my peers and leaders still in the ministry in the United Pentecostal Church, International. For all our efforts to “preach Jesus,” and point people to the cross, in practice we accomplished the opposite. Every time we shamed someone for not measuring up, we turned them from Jesus—not to Him. We turned them to their own lack of ability to overcome, and then to our leadership to help them become better Christians—a subject about which we were ill-equipped to offer counsel. Too many of our congregants just gave up trying and decided to either “look the part,” thereby becoming hypocrites, or leave church altogether. Of course, we attributed this to a “lack of will power” or discipline. In truth, we all know that none of us was able to live as “holy” and “pure” as we preached. Consequently, in practice, we produced an atmosphere conducive to secret sin and hypocrisy. And much to our dismay, our congregants catch on quickly. They follow the leader.

The answer for all of us lies in the grace of God, not in our efforts to become more spiritual. Pastors, it is my prayer for you and your congregations that you discover and experience the grace that I have found. What a relief to find rest, not in my ability to “pray through,” but in the arms of Jesus. – Jon Eckenrod

The proverbial elephant in the room is the issue that is plain to everyone, but about which no one wants to talk. Why don’t we like to talk about the elephants? By their nature elephants are big. To acknowledge them is to begin to deal with a problem that is uncomfortable. Usually the issue is difficult and has no easy solution. So, we ignore it, or at least we try. But, because of their size, elephants are hard to ignore. The longer we turn a blind eye to them, the more difficult they are to address. Some ‘elephants’ may start out relatively small, but over time, if not dealt with, they become enormous. And the cost of dealing with them increases with each passing day.

Dr. Joseph Umidi, one of my professors at Regent University School of Divinity, told our class that when a leader does not address elephants in the room, followers begin to “collect injustices.” In other words, they begin to take note of every mistake the leader makes. They collect them, and soon, all they can see are these injustices when they look at the leader. Dr. Umidi likened it to looking at your environment through a clear pen (one of those old-fashioned Bic pens). When the first injustice occurs, the pen appears, and it is in your line of sight (perhaps at arm’s length), but you can see everything around it clearly. As more injustices are collected, the pen moves closer to your eyes, so that it fills more of your field of vision. Soon, the pen is right next to your eyes, and you can only see everything else through the pen. This is very dangerous and very toxic. That is why it is so important for leaders to be willing to address the elephants in the room—no matter how unpleasant they are.

You don’t need a room full of people in order for elephants to appear. You can create them in your private life, which is what I did. When I saw problems and chose to ignore them, or had doubts and questions, and deferred addressing them until a later date—voila! Elephants were created. When I stopped being afraid of the truth, I began to see the elephants clearly.

Life is so very uncomfortable in a room full of elephants. In some respects, I feel like I know what an elephant stampede is like. It is overwhelming. You feel like there is nowhere to go, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And in truth, there isn’t. And it is very painful to endure. The elephants come straight at you, demanding to be acknowledged and dealt with. And when the stampede is over—when you have looked each elephant squarely in the eye and addressed the problems that they posed—you wonder what just happened. You try to get your bearings again. I am still in the process of doing that, but now Jesus Christ is at the center of it all. And that makes all the difference.

The journey has not been easy. It has been painful at times, and my family members have been the ‘beneficiaries’ of much of that pain. But, by God’s grace, I was forced to address my elephants. I wouldn’t want it any other way (unless I could go back and stop the elephants from being created in the first place). Why was I afraid to acknowledge the truth? Why did I refuse to look objectively at the group with which I had been associated for so many years? For any one of us, the main reason is fear. Quite frankly, I was afraid that what I believed might be wrong. I was afraid of what that would mean. What would it cost me if I discovered that I was in error—that my organization was in error? What would that mean for my future, and for the future of my family? If I found that we had been wrong about our interpretation of scripture, could I stay in the organization? We were on a promising career track, and I had no desire to jeopardize that. And I certainly didn’t want to experience the ostracism that I had witnessed so many others who had left the organization experience. I didn’t want that for my family. There were too many questions with too many very troubling and painful answers. It was easier to remain ‘willfully ignorant’ than to do anything to rock the boat.

It is a sad commentary on any organization when a person must weigh whether to leave or not based on a fear of ostracism, rather than on truth and what is best for the individual or family. When this is the case, it indicates a major problem with the system. If it is fear that keeps us from looking objectively at our groups, we need to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Would Jesus cause us to be afraid to leave and go somewhere else? Would he make us fear to ask difficult questions? When we did have questions, would he shame us for doubting? Would he make us feel like we were the ones with the problem just because we questioned him? Finally, if Jesus would not make us afraid to ask the tough questions, then we need to ask another question: just what kind of people are running our organizations? Are we afraid to answer that? What an awful thing fear is. Truly, “fear hath torment,” (1 John 4:18, KJV).

There were times when I would address some of these nagging doubts and questions, but it was always within the context of believing that what I was taught was true. So I had to figure out why my doubts were unfounded. Or I had to figure out a way to prove why another’s objections to my beliefs were invalid. I never addressed these things objectively. That is the way most ministers and congregants addressed these questions. We were right. We just had to figure out why others were wrong. This approach is wrong-headed, and it only serves to make our elephants grow.

My intent in writing this is to expose my own shortcomings—my own humanness, if you will. I want to demonstrate how I ignored signs that I was heading in the wrong direction. I suppressed feelings. I minimized and rationalized away warnings that should have made me stop and reconsider. We all have a propensity to ignore the obvious when it doesn’t fit the context within which we live. We turn a blind eye to information when it could cause our world to crumble down around us. This is really the basis of ‘group think.’ We slowly lose the ability to look at our own group objectively. To a degree, breeding elephants is a result of self-preservation. It helps us survive and even thrive within our groups.

I don’t want people to become critical about everything in life. Life is too short. But I also don’t want people to be afraid to think critically about those things that don’t add up. I want to encourage anyone in any circumstance to not ignore those gut feelings, those signs that cause inner-turmoil. We need to be free to think objectively about ourselves and the groups of which we are a part. It is OK to examine our belief systems, and those of our churches, our leaders, or our organizations.

In doing this, there is one thing that I cannot emphasize enough: we can not be afraid to allow objective observers to look at our lives and speak to us about what they see. It is difficult to do. We are prideful, and we know intuitively that they wouldn’t understand if we tried to explain everything about our groups. But we must make the effort to find someone who doesn’t have some ulterior motive of trying to get us to join their group, and who is good at just listening—someone who won’t judge us, but who will be brutally honest with us. Sadly, for many who are involved in groups like the one I was a part of, we don’t feel like we have someone on the outside that we can trust. We have been conditioned to believe that people on the outside have suspect motives or that they are deceived—so they can’t help. But, if at all possible, we all need to find someone who can look at us objectively, which disqualifies those within our groups. I guess what I am trying to say is, we need to ‘open our eyes!’ It is difficult for elephants to breed when our eyes are open and others are watching with us.

At this point, I must point out that I don’t have it all figured out. As a matter of fact, I still have a lot of questions about a lot of issues. But I am not ignoring them, and I’m not afraid to address them. Also, I do not in any way claim to be a scholar or an expert in theology. I just want to share what I do know, and what I have learned. I hope this helps you learn as well.

State Of Wisconsin Vs Glen A Uselmann: Two Witnesses

(Some statements in this article are what have been alleged by the survivor and some other people. There have been no convictions as of yet and to my knowledge, the alleged perpetrator has not openly admitted guilt.) This is Part 38 of an ongoing series and the thirteenth pertaining to this particular affiliated United Pentecostal Church (see links at the end). In part one of this case, I addressed why Glen Uselmann should never have been given license in the United Pentecostal Church and how pastor John Wesley Grant, a member of the United Pentecostal Church’s Order of the Faith, was reckless and irresponsible in allowing such to happen as he was well aware of at least some of what Uselmann had done. In part two the charges against Uselmann are covered. As a brief recap, a criminal complaint was filed against Uselmann on July 15, 2020. This is Dane County case number 2020CF001760. Uselmann was charged with one count of second degree sexual assault of a child and one count of first degree sexual assault of a child. [EDIT: The first degree count was later dropped and then he was charged with five counts of second degree assault.] Rebecca Martin-Byrd, the survivor, was 12 years old when the sexual assault started. At the time of the alleged events, Glen Uselmann and Rebecca Martin were both members of Calvary Gospel Church (CGC), which is located at 5301 Commercial Avenue in Madison, Wisconsin. Grant is yet the bishop of CGC. Roy Howard Grant, his son, was not in the position of a pastor at this time, as he wasn’t brought in until early 2013.

There are multiple people who can corroborate various aspects of Rebecca Martin-Byrd’s allegations against Glen Alan Uselmann. These are two of those witnesses. These testimonies demonstrate that John Grant was acutely aware of accusations against Uselmann as far back as at least 1989 and chose to not report it to police and instead went on to allow Uselmann to be actively involved in the church, to preach in services and to obtain his ministerial license.

Rebecca Martin’s Letter Confirmed By The Pen-Pal

In the previous article, I wrote the following paragraph:

When Rebecca was 12-13 years old, she wrote letters to her pen pal about what was happening with Uselmann. Her sister, who attended Calvary Gospel Church, allegedly gave the letters to John Wesley Grant, the pastor, who is now considered the bishop of the church. John Grant then brought Rebecca and her parents into the church office and warned Rebecca that if she talked about this, it could ruin Uselmann’s life and damage the church. Rebecca claims that, “Uselmann later confronted her in the church parking lot shortly after her meeting with [John Grant]. Uselmann pushed her into a car and said, ‘You talked!’ Uselmann told her, ‘You cannot tell,’ and also told her they ‘had something special.’ She was terrified at the time and knew she was in trouble.”

I was able to contact Bonnie, the pen-pal that is referred to in the criminal complaint. Bonnie was interviewed by detectives in October 2019 for approximately one and a half to two hours. She was born in 1975 and is less than a year older than Rebecca. It was her sister Lucy, who she referred to as “an awesome big sister” at the time, who took the letter to pastor John Grant. Bonnie was a member of the Immanuel Apostolic Assembly in Wisconsin Dells from the age of four and left in 1991. I questioned Bonnie about her memories of these events and she gave permission to share them as well as use her name and picture as a child. This whole experience has left her very uninterested in any type of organized religion.

I showed her what was recorded of her interview in the criminal complaint and she acknowledged its accuracy. That statement is posted after this section.

Bonnie shared that she remembers Rebecca “before he [Glen Uselmann] really started to prey heavily on her. She was a happy girl and a really fun long distance friend. I got to spend the night at her house once and I thought her house was so HUGE! We had fun in the way 12 year old girls should have fun. I know we wrote several letters back and forth where he was not the focus of her letters. Sure, there was ‘boy’ talk…since I started to ‘date’ one of the other boys at her CGC. I would sort of pry and see what was going on with him and if he was flirting with other girls (he totally was – jerk) – so funny. Then the Glen stuff took over and she wrote a few letters, with him being the focus, of him paying her a lot of attention and she gushed over how she felt so much ‘better’ than the other girls (not in a mean way – just in a pride way) that he had ‘picked’ her. She would talk about how many things he would buy her and how much money he would spend on her.”

Rebecca commented, “I did feel so special. This older minister picked me. I must be worth something.”

When asked if she could share about Rebecca writing that she didn’t want Glen to touch her, she responded, “One thing that really stands out is that she stated she had her menstrual period when he was trying to finger her on the roller coaster at Great America and she said it made her extremely uncomfortable since she was fairly new to having her menstrual cycle and was wearing maxi pads.”

Rebecca responded, “It was my first month with my period. And we went to Great America for a birthday party.”

Bonnie told her sister about the letters and recalls Lucy making copies “and then me feeling a little scared about when ‘shit hit the fan’ – I was scared that I might get in trouble somehow for sharing.” She went on to add, “Once the letters were given to Grant, her letters to me were almost absent and no details on Glen anymore. I probably got 2-3 more letters and it was over. I always wondered what happened to her. I found out that they got married and thought it was really fucking odd.”

When I asked Rebecca to comment about the letters ending she stated, “I did stop writing to her. I felt humiliated and terrible that I had involved her. I was embarrassed.”

Bonnie went on to share, “Remembering those letters always made me uncomfortable and knew it was wrong. I guess I did my part in reporting to an adult. The adults failed her time and time again. I have always wondered about her dad’s part in this ordeal. He was a fucking cop. Seriously? Not only failed by your church leaders, but your own father – who is a cop? This could have so easily been me. I am sorry it happened to Rebecca but am grateful it didn’t happen to me. I was a curvy girl growing up and got some unwanted attention from men not in the UPC – so I know the feeling of not wanting the attention.” More will be written about former Madison police officer Gregory Nowell Martin in a future article.

Bonnie’s Statement From the Criminal Complaint Against Glen Alan Uselmann

BJL’s statement
On 10/31/19, Det. Ware and Det. Bauman met with BJL, who reported the following: When RAM was 12 or 13, Uselmann “paid [RAM] a lot of attention.” She remembered being with RAM when RAM was 12-13 years old and described that RAM was “gushing” about Uselmann. RAM talked about how Uselmann told her she is pretty. She and RAM sent multiple letters back and forth, as a way to keep in touch when she (BJL) was at home. When RAM was 12 years old and she was 13, she remembered receiving a letter from RAM in the summer. She described RAM as being “12 ish.” In that letter, RAM told her about going to an identified business. In that letter, RAM told her Uselmann “tried to touch her up her skirt.” “He (Uselmann) basically tried to finger her on a roller coaster.” RAM also wrote she didn’t want Uselmann to touch her. When she read that letter, she remembered it making her uncomfortable. She described the letter as “graphic” and which is probably why she still remembers it today. She remembered the letter being “super significant” because at that age, it contained “sex stuff.”

Remember John Wesley Grant’s Position

In this case, it is very important to remember that when these events occurred, John Wesley Grant wasn’t just the pastor of Calvary Gospel Church, but he was also the Wisconsin District Superintendent. By 1982, Grant was in this position and remained through part of 1999 when John Putnam was elected. Putnam was replaced by James Booker in March 2018. Due to him holding this position, he was automatically a member of the General Board as a General Presbyter. This is the Board on which the very top elected officials in the United Pentecostal Church preside. John Grant has since retained the position of Honorary Presbyter in the Wisconsin District and Honorary General Presbyter on the national level. In 2014, he was inducted into the United Pentecostal Church’s Order of the Faith, which ironically noted, “He has taught ministerial ethics and Christian principles in a very easy to understand and unique way.”

Rebecca’s Letter Taken To John Wesley Grant

Lucy was interviewed by detectives last fall for approximately two hours. She is Bonnie’s older sister and was born in 1969. She had been a member of the Immanuel Apostolic Assembly in Wisconsin Dells from the age of six through 18, now known as TurnPoint Pentecostal Church. Winton E. Maki was her pastor. While a senior in high school, she was engaged to a man from Calvary Gospel Church, who was 21. They married in 1987 and then she was a member of Calvary Gospel until August of 1990, a little more than a year after this incident took place. John Grant’s handling of this situation was a major contributor in her exit. She had two young daughters and wanted to protect them. As a child, she herself was abused by her step-father and from the age of nine she was considered by others in the UPCI to be a liar, promiscuous and possibly possessed by demons. Lucy’s sister Bonnie remembers being in her wedding when she was 12, “so I knew many of the people and when I continued to visit – which was often – I got to know them much better.”

I questioned Lucy about her memories of the letter Rebecca Martin had written to her sister. She gave permission to share these as well as use her name. I showed her what was recorded of Bonnie’s interview in the criminal complaint and she acknowledged its accuracy. When her sister was very young, she read one of Rebecca’s letters to her over the phone. As this was “a huge red flag of abuse,” Lucy immediately drove to get her sister and the letter. She recalled only seeing one letter that was very long and she made a copy of it. She believes this was in 1989.

When she approached pastor John Wesley Grant with the original letter, it is alleged that Grant proclaimed that she had written it to herself “to get attention.” He proceeded to call Lucy a “liar” and kicked her out the choir for a year. She shared that, “Singing was and is my life.” When the year was over, she approached Grant about rejoining the choir and he allegedly told her to leave his office as she had lied and tried to “strike down” God’s anointed, meaning Uselmann.

In addition, Grant informed Lucy that he would not have her stand in front of the church and repent, so as not to put her husband in a negative light. (Her husband was very involved in the church but did not hold an official title.) Lucy’s husband wouldn’t go with her to see Grant as he deemed it to be “childhood issues.” Grant kept the original letter but was unaware that Lucy had made a copy.

Grant would periodically make members he deemed to have sinned, stand in front of the church and confess to everyone. Lucy shared that, “If he says it you are guilty.” He even did this with children. Will John Grant hold himself to this same standard and openly confess all the things he has done wrong and covered up all these decades? I wouldn’t hold your breath, but he does appreciate a standing ovation from church members, as he did on August 11, 2019 after a local expose was released, sharing several cases of unreported child sexual abuse at the church.

Lucy recalls that the setting in Rebecca’s letter was a theme park and a roller coaster. Uselmann was holding Rebecca’s hand in public and was trying to hide it. It mentioned him kissing Rebecca. Lucy claims to have seen abuse at the church outside of this letter. She recalled trying to approach Rebecca about Uselmann earlier and she ran away. When she spoke to Rebecca after giving the letter to John Grant, she shared that she told her she had the letter and that she took it to Grant. Lucy explained that it was not appropriate for Uselmann to do those things to her and that what he did was abuse and not love. She shared that she had been “hurt” as a little girl and that she’d always be there if she wanted to talk. Lucy claimed Rebecca said nothing and seemed agitated. This still makes her cry for Rebecca.

After Lucy gave the letter to John Grant and he falsely accused her of writing it, he then brought Rebecca and her parents into the church office and warned Rebecca that if she talked about this, it could ruin Uselmann’s life and damage the church. Rebecca claims that, “Uselmann later confronted her in the church parking lot shortly after her meeting with [John Grant]. Uselmann pushed her into a car and said, ‘You talked!’ Uselmann told her, ‘You cannot tell,’ and also told her they ‘had something special.’ She was terrified at the time and knew she was in trouble.”

When I asked Rebecca about Lucy trying to talk to her she replied, “Lucy did try to talk me. We were at a youth function and she asked to talk to me. I was so scared that I avoided her. I don’t think she really had the opportunity to actually talk to me, as I figured that was what she was going to talk to me about, and so I avoided her. It was a bit after I was sending Bonnie the letters. I figured at some point someone would tell. So when Lucy asked to talk to me, I knew it was about the letter. So I avoided her like the plague.”

December 9, 2021 Update: A jury trial is set to start on July 11, 2022 and continue through July 15, 2022.

May 1, 2022 Edit: A jury status hearing is set for June 27, 2022, with jury selection on July 11. The trial is set for July 12- 15, 2022.

Articles:
Charges filed in sexual assault case linked to Madison’s Calvary Gospel Church– July 21, 2020 Capital Times
Columbus man charged with sexually assaulting child while working as Madison church youth minister – July 22, 2020 WKOW
‘My initial reaction was absolute shock:’ Madison woman affirmed after her alleged, childhood abuser charged with sex assault – July 23, 2020 WKOW (video)
Man charged for sexually assaulting girl at Calvary Gospel Church in Madison – July 23, 2020 WMTV NBC15 (video)
Criminal complaint alleges former youth pastor sexually assaulted girl for several years – July 23, 2020 WISC
Former Youth Minister At Columbus Church Charged With Child Sexual Assault – July 23, 2020 Seehafer News
Probable cause found in sex assault case against Columbus man – August 6, 2020 WKOW

You will find a complete list of articles in this series by clicking here.

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