Category: judging | Spiritual Abuse Blogs

The Impact of God Distortions

Many believe in a “God” who hates or condemns those they find objectionable or whose faith they disagree with. No matter whether the excuse is “It’s what the Bible says”, “It’s part of our tradition”, or “Pastor Whatsis believes that”, the problem is the same: The image of Christ’s self-emptying (kenosis) for our reconciliation is being distorted. Trying to “remake” God because the mercy given to us in the form of Jesus is too much to swallow is one of the biggest traps we often fall into.

They have tried to create a deity in their own image, a deity whom they want to hate those who differ from them or who gives them license to impose their twisted doctrine on others. The commandment against creating graven images doesn’t just refer to statuary or the other forms that “idols” from various religions take. At the heart of this commandment is not putting anything in God’s place, which is exactly what happens when people try to remake God in their image.

Such behavior on the part of professing Christians shows a lack of trust in the One who made them. In distorting God to suit their prejudices or legalism, they are demonstrating that lack of trust. Trying to dictate who is or isn’t worthy of salvation based on Scripture-twisting or otherwise attempting to fence God off from those seeking salvation aren’t behaviors of those who put all their faith in the One who made them.

Fear of The Other dominates those who think this way and their prejudice can have dangerous effects. There is often a fine line between disagreeing with someone’s actions and condemning the people themselves. If we’re to follow the Way of Christ, it must be a way of love.

God is far more powerful than these distortions and those who create them, as powerful as they may seem to us. When we move past these distortions, we can have a greater appreciation for our Redeemer. Peoples’ distortions of God may seem all-powerful, but we need to remember that God is greater still.

Don’t call me a “Christian”

I had something come up on my Facebook memories again. Oddly enough, it’s been something I’ve dealt with repeatedly through the years: too may times when I’d done something that someone religious disagreed with, their response has been “you’re backslid,” “you hypocrite,” or “how can you call yourself a Christian.” Recently, I’ve realized that it’s even been used on some very famous people. I’m not alone, though the words are isolating to someone who has always believed, always wanted to believe, always dreamed of doing more for God.

I’m going to be very frank, because I know too many Christians who think nothing of saying things like this. Four years ago someone told me “how can you call yourself a Christian and vote for ____?” What is not important. What IS important, and what Christians should realize before they say things like this, is that this attitude and those questions eventually may lead – did lead – me to four years of on and off saying I’m NOT a Christian. I don’t want to be a Christian if being a Christian means I have to believe in some political figure or ideology, wear certain clothes, or say certain things. If I have to follow others’ rules (which always seem to change). People ask if I’m a Christian, and I remember those words, the exclusivity, the refusal to love a neighbor who might think differently than her (because marking me anathema is not very loving) and I just kind of shrug, or laugh and say “not if you ask most Christians.”

Be careful you don’t tell people if they don’t think like you, agree with every point of doctrine and dogma, dress like you, act like you, sound like you, attend the same church as you, that they must also not be a follower of Jesus. Be careful not to label and judge so quickly. Be careful not to be quick to judge, quick to condemn, and far too quick to voice that condemnation all in the name of religion.

Before you label and judge and exclude others, stop and think. Take a breath and consider those words. Because the people who are reading or hearing your statements may not be like you, but that doesn’t make them bad. And you’ll never win them by threatening them, labeling them, marginalizing them, mocking them, or excluding them. And worse, you may actually push them in the opposite direction.

Don’t call me a Christian if you think I have to be like you. You’ve been very clear that I’m not, and I don’t want to be, anyway.

What made Jesus mad?

It wasn’t the sinners. No, he ate dinner with them. What we see Jesus fighting against are the religious Pharisees who loved to point fingers at other people’s sin and shortcomings. Legalism. It is essentially the world system telling you that salvation is not a free gift and that you must work for your grace. Grace is a free gift. If it comes with ‘requirements’ is is no longer a gift, but a paycheck. Jesus came to save the world not condemn it. A lot of these issues come from people trying to make the Bible fit their opinions. They refuse to research culture, translations, Hebrew, Greek, etc.. They fall under the influence of the adversary and believe we are not worthy of God’s acceptance unless we perform. God loves you; you have to switch your focus from you and onto what He did (and is) doing for us. By saying a dress, long hair, no jewelry, and no makeup is required to get into Heaven, you have rejected the power of Jesus dying and resurrecting by saying – No God, I think I got this. No thanks, I can save myself. However, it isn’t about us. It is all about HIM and what HE did for us.

It. Is. That. Simple.That is the GOOD NEWS!

Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see what they say.

In Matthew 23:27, Jesus addressed the Pharisees who were being judgmental and holding on to a ‘visual and works-based’ salvation by saying, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every impurity. In the same way, on the outside you seem righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” This statement was radical then and it still is today! What good is it if we visually look ‘set apart’ but we are bitter, prideful, and show no love? That is what Jesus means by a whitewashed tomb! Jesus also declares the Pharisees hypocrites for straining out a gnat but eating a camel (Matt. 23:24). This was a parable about worrying about small things but yet, you are full of hatred and pride – which are BIG issues. We must cleans our hearts. As we do this, we will reflect Christ on the outside by our actions. We are becoming love. It isn’t a checklist, it is a process; one that can take years as we begin to heal the many layers of shame, guilt, and pain that we have endured. We must have faith. Believing in something we cannot….see.

We tend to think of a Pharisee as just a Jewish person who didn’t accept Jesus as the Messiah. Why did they reject Him? Jesus was viewed as radical. His message was a 360 from the Law of Moses (Read the book of Leviticus). Moses taught you must perform a certain way to be clean. Jesus taught that God already sees us as clean and we will have eternal life if we accept Him into our hearts as our Lord and Savior. There are many more accounts recorded in the New Testament where Jesus denounced the religious hypocrites, but I would like to now focus on the gospel. The good news. We cannot follow something we do not….know. The good news is that God already loves us and he loves us with agape love. Agape love is unconditional love. Meaning, there are no conditions in which we can make God love us more or less. He loves us because He is love. Scripture tells us this.

1 John 4:8 “The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Romans 8:39 tells us that nothing can separate us from love. Nothing. Not your skirt that is above your knees, your short hair, your bitterness, your lies….NOTHING. It is written, “(No) height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!” Praise God for that because it is impossible to be sinless, but fear not! We are loved by God and we have been bought and paid for.

John 17:23 “I am in them and You are in Me. May they be made completely one, so the world may know You have sent Me and have loved them as You have loved Me.” This right here tells us we are loved the same way Jesus is loved. Hallelujah!

Ephesians 1:7-8 “We have redemption in Him through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” He has redeemed us! We are set free.

1 Corinthians 12:13 “For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.” God does not see a sinner when He looks at us. We have been baptized into Christ.

While we have this good news, so many people reject it. It is difficult for the human mind to grasp this concept that we are loved unconditionally by God. Another argument I have heard time and time again is that the God of the Old Testament was mean and full of wrath. Yes, people were killed, but the Bible is not a book of condemnation, it is a book about God’s redemption plan to save mankind after the fall. The only reason people were wiped away was due to their motives to wipe out the line to Jesus Christ. God had to preserve that at all costs because Jesus is the ONLY way to eternal life without pain and suffering.

If God was mad at us, why did he make a promise to Abraham that he would use his seed to bless the world? God made this promise in the very first book of the Bible. He wouldn’t do this if He regretted creating us. He promised Abraham, Issac, and Jacob (Israel) that He would redeem us through their bloodline. We now know that redemption plan was finished with Jesus Christ. The adversary tricked Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Good and Evil by making them feel God was hiding something from them. After the fall, they felt shame and guilt. Something God never wanted for us. The reason we felt naked was because of the enemy. Not God. We clothe ourselves to hide shame. If it was Satan who told us we were unclean in the garden, is it not Satan who is inside your head telling you that you are unclean if you don’t perform or wear certain types of attire?

One last thought. Fear in Hebrew does not translate to being scared. To fear God in the original text means to have childlike wonder and awe of God. Fear = awe. How easily we can get tricked into thinking God is angry with us. Satan has done this since the fall. The devil is the father of all lies and he knows no new tricks.

The good news is that the battle has been won. Jesus conquered the grave. We have redemption through Jesus Christ and we are covered by the blood of the lamb. Stop listening to the lies of the enemy. Read the word for yourself, rather than believing everything another human tells you. You can even question me and what I have written here in this article. Actually, I encourage you to. Seek to find the truth! The Holy Spirit will slowly reveal it if you ask for it.

We are no longer slaves. Thank you Jesus for this unconditional, undeserved gift of grace and eternal life.

Let your Kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as is it in Heaven. Until you return, I will praise You and spread this wonderful, life-giving news of how You died for me, and…..the world. I pray that every person who reads this will be filled with a seed of Truth. In Jesus’ name I declare this. Amen.

–GodIsLove

Manufactured Controversy – Unintended Results

In my years attending abusive churches, it was a common practice to hear the pastor bash various lifestyles and forms of entertainment from the pulpit. In fact, it was at times encouraged to openly protest and confront those who supported those things. I wonder if we unintentionally created audiences by creating controversy.

My dad always says “If you don’t like a certain TV show, don’t watch it.” His simple approach allows for one to make his or her stand while not raising a stink everywhere else. The pastors on the other hand wanted us to be the “faithful watchmen” and warn everyone we met about the spiritual dangers associated with certain forms of secular entertainment, fashion, and literature. I couldn’t help but reflect on certain cultural phenomena that received massive exposure and monetary gain despite controversy.

Example 1: 2 Live Crew was an obscure rap group from Miami, Florida who didn’t receive major exposure until late 1989 when there was much controversy surrounding the lyrics in their album As Nasty As They Wanna Be. After the controversy occurred, 2 Live Crew achieved major success nationally and their coffers were much fuller than before.

Example 2: Many preachers voiced concern over the Harry Potter books written by J.K. Rowling. The protests backfired here too: Rowling’s books all became best sellers, and the movies were a hugely successful franchise.

Example 3: Legendary rock band AC/DC was blasted by pulpits for decades for songs like “Highway to Hell.” The controversy probably played a big role in that band’s success as many of their albums are on the all-time best seller lists, and AC/DC still plays to packed houses after 45 years of touring and recording.

Example 4: Since its debut in 1953, Playboy magazine has been the target of pulpits claiming the adult magazine objectifies women. This didn’t slow sales nor curb women from posing for the photos that made Playboy famous. Instead, it may have increased them.

As I reflect on these and other examples, I have to wonder. Did I help create the audiences unintentionally? Human nature often shows us people are curious by things that are considered forbidden, immoral, or illegal. The more attention given, the more curious people become. As we were out there protesting and “warning” others, we may have instead led more people into those things.

I also wonder how many of us who protested in public actually enjoyed those things in private. None of these things are sinful in of themselves, but if we have our shorts in a bunch over minor issues like these, how can we focus on the serious sin issues that not just threaten our society, but us personally? We also fail to realize that those who don’t know Christ will not receive our protests. They need to know the love of Christ first, then they will look to His example not ours.

Indeed, my dad is much wiser than many pastors when it comes to dealing with “offensive” material. It’s better to not give such things an audience in the first place.

Oh be careful… what you say

It’s been nearly two years ago that a friend, a pastor’s wife, posted to Facebook, “How can anyone call themselves a Christian and vote for Hillary?” I’m sure she meant no harm. I’m sure she was making what, in her mind, was a political statement. I’m sure she thought everyone reading her posts was of her same mindset.

I’ve struggled for two years with that and other similar statements she and others made during and since that time.

She didn’t persuade me to vote her way. What she did do was make me question everything about American Christianity, especially the fundamentalist, pop culture Christianity that seems best known in the Midwest. Her words were ungracious and unwise, leaving no room for argument: Either you agree with me or you’re not a Christian.

It’s a theme I’ve heard too many times as the closing statement of an opposing view:

How can you call yourself Christian and…
Do you REALLY have the Holy Ghost if you think that?
Well, if you think that, you must be backslid!
Wow, did you hear what you said?!?! You better pray through!

And unfortunately it’s one that affects me deeply, particularly because it makes traditional denominations sound eerily like the cult I left. The cult I left was very good at questioning our salvation… but as it turns out, other Christians apparently are, too.

I have considered multiple times unfriending her and others like her on Facebook. It’s not like she ever reads my posts. It’s not like we were ever good friends. And it’s not like I’ll ever see her again on earth. Yet when I consider it, I freeze. I have friends of other persuasions that post their opinions on Facebook or state them in person. I don’t have any problem with their very liberal posts. I’ve told others they need to listen to both sides of a discussion before forming opinions. And yet I’m considering silencing one ‘side’ – the conservative Christian one – in my life. And I cringe to think that I am. Why am I silencing one side but not the other? Why is it only the conservative Christian posts that bother me? Why have I come to view these posts as uneducated, arrogant, and rude, but haven’t viewed the posts from friends on the opposite end of the spectrum the same way?

And I realize I have an answer. My friends on the opposite end of the spectrum are very liberal and they are very vocal, but they are not judgmental. They have not labeled, criticized, or unfriended me for questioning their opinions or posting an opposing view or thought. They haven’t told me “this is my wall. I’ll post what I want.” They have never said, “I don’t care if it’s true or not. I don’t have time to research everything I post to see if it’s accurate. So I don’t care if it’s right or wrong. I like it, I think it’s faith-building, and I don’t want to hear any other view.” And they have never, EVER said, “How can you call yourself a Christian and disagree with me?” I know there are people who do (even on the liberal side), but my more liberal friends have not.

The reason the conservative opinion posts bother me isn’t so much that they are posted, but that they are posted with the assumption that every Christian will agree, and often with the statement or inference that anyone who doesn’t agree is NOT Christian. My friend whose daughter is trans posts her opinion, but she doesn’t ever say that anyone who doesn’t agree will go to hell, is not a part of a specific social group or persuasion, or even cannot be her friend. Another social activist friend also posts things related to her opinion, but she doesn’t stereotype others based on their opinions. She doesn’t label or judge. Another posts about race, but she is posting about how race affects her life; she’s never said “anyone who disagrees with me is an idiot.” And I’ve never wondered if any of them would unfriend me if I questioned their opinions or posted an alternate view.

Those I know who are liberal and post their opinions view and post them, in other words, as their opinions, not the voice of God.

So I guess really I shouldn’t feel guilty, shouldn’t feel that I’m limiting the voice of only one “side” while accepting the voice of the other. I’m not choosing sides, just limiting posts to those that are respectful of others no matter what ‘side’ they’re on. It’s unfortunate that the most vocal Christians on my Facebook friends list (and in person for that matter) are so often disrespectful of anyone they perceive as different from them. But I’m not unfriending them for being Christian. If anything, I’m unfriending them for behaving in a very unchristian way.

And so I’m cleaning up my friend list, and that means deleting a surprising number of my Christian friends. I’m not doing it because I’m not a Christian. I’m doing it so that I can somehow hopefully come to a point of believing without hearing the voices of those who question my faith based, not on whether I believe in Jesus, but based instead on who I vote for, how I dress, and where I go to church. Or even who I fellowship.