Multiple bloggers sharing, educating and supporting those who have been in unhealthy churches.

Author: Grace

Born into family of third generation Oneness Pentecostal parents, to a father who was a second generation UPC preacher, and a mother who'd been raised by UPC preacher father as well. My parents' goal was to raise me up to be "preacher's wife material", which they considered the "highest calling" for a female. I am currently in a graduate program for psychological counseling. I work in the mental health field, with children and families. My goal is to educate and enlighten parents to raise children who are self confident and happy, free from anxiety and depression, as well as other pathological outcomes from abusive upbringing.

Dissonance

What is it? How does it apply to spiritual abuse? Who does it affect? The dictionary defines dissonance as: “lack of harmony among musical notes. a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.” A great analogy would…

Toilet Training Your Emotions

Weird as that title might sound, we all have a load of emotions to deal with.  Especially if you’ve been in a spiritually abusive environment, sometimes the feelings can be very overwhelming.  The thing is, you were probably taught that some of those…

God is Like An Elephant

How would you describe an elephant?  To me, elephants are gray, and generally calm.  They are plodding, steadfast, and they nurture their young.  They generally live in herds, and they can work together to accomplish important tasks for the livelihood of their ecosystem. …

“Of Like Precious”…(Abuse?)

If I had a dime for all the times I heard it said “of like precious faith”, I’d likely be very rich today (but only if I didn’t give all those dimes away in the offering). “Of like precious faith” was a code…

Love Without Fear

This morning I woke up around 4:40 am as usual, because I’m getting older and I have to go use the restroom about that time.  After I got back in bed, I dozed off, but the rest of my sleep was rather light…

Attachment

In a recent turn of events, I was discussing with a professional counselor various aspects of relationships with people who are members of the cult that I grew up in. Specifically, we were discussing relationships with family members who are still involved in…

Identity Theft

I got this cup for Christmas from my best friend. It says “Be You.” Only a very close friend could have known the impact of that phrase for me. As I have written before, when one is raised in the cult environment, an…

Holiday Celebration

As I have been working the last two weeks, I have run across different ideas from different churches that affect children who are my clients. These differences have to do with how holidays are celebrated. Needless to say, I have definitely had a few…

Shame on You!

As stated before, I was a sensitive child.  I grew into a sensitive teen, who became a sensitive adult.  The age-old question arises, was it nature or nurture? Was it biology, or environment?  Obviously, it is impossible to decipher. Regardless of the cause,…

Curse of the Cult

Being raised my entire life in the controlling atmosphere of this type of religion left permanent scars on me. Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel so angry and betrayed! The cult dynamic leaves you feeling helpless and unable to make it…

Measuring Up

Whatever you did, you did not miss church unless it was very dire. If you were sick, you came to church anyway, unless you were throwing up or had diarrhea. Unless you were contagious you were at church. When it came to working…