I hated the huge push for quick marriages, and it is actually one of the reasons I didn’t marry. Then, too… well, “God will give you someone if you’re right with him and you ask hard enough” is all fine and good. And then someone comes and he’s abusive or a stalker or just downright disgusting, and they say that this is the will of God, because God is giving you what you want. Uh, no. THAT is NOT what I want, and abuse is NEVER the will of God.

And then… then you pray and you get a husband or a child or whatever and it isn’t good – the man is abusive, the spouse meets an untimely death, the child is chronically ill, you lose the dream job and go bankrupt, or whatever…. and then the same people say you asked amiss or you did something wrong. Or you think you must have because you heard for so long that you’d have this or that if you did more, prayed perfectly, etc. No. Those things aren’t God’s punishment or our faults, either. It’s easy to cycle into a performance trap with stuff like this, and a downward spiral of self-blame.