What happened to being nice?

I’ve been attending a certain church since February. In all that time, I still haven’t really connected with anyone. They’ve said so many times, “We’re all introverts,” as an excuse for why they aren’t friendlier. This morning I pulled into the parking lot for second service, and these “introverts” who excuse themselves for not talking to me were talking so much that they were talking from car to car even as both drivers were pulling out. I went in and for the first ten minutes of services, these same “introverts” didn’t even come into the sanctuary because they were visiting in the fellowship area. Not one but the door greeter said hi to me, even in response to my greeting.

I don’t know if I’m angrier that they are doing this, angrier that they’re excusing themselves deceitfully, or just sadder or more disgusted about the whole situation. I enjoy the preaching and the music most of the time, but I could get that from the internet at home in my PJs. What’s more unfortunate is that after years of being told that we go to church to gather together, more and more I recognize that there is gathering but not togetherness in far too many churches, and organized religion is actually doing much to push people out of it’s doors not only in cults, but in Christianity at large. If Christians won’t love each other, the unloved will find friendship and fellowship elsewhere, often in settings or with people that these same unfriendly Christians would disagree with. And then the Christians will look around and wonder why people aren’t coming to their churches, even though they ignore them when they come.

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Author: Through Grace

I was raised in a somewhat unhealthy church group within the Nondenominational Christian Church. After graduating high school, I began attending a United Pentecostal Church (UPC). I've been a member of four UPC churches and visited many others. Of the four of which I was a member, I was "encouraged" not to leave the first and then later sent to the second; attended the second where an usher repeatedly attempted to touch me and the pastor told me I should not care about the standards of the organization and was wrong to do so; ran to a third at that point, which threw me out after a couple years; and walked out of a fourth. For these transfers and because I refused to gossip about my former churches, some called me a "wandering star, a cloud without water" (Jude 1:12). I love the fact that when the blind man was healed, questioned by the Pharisees and temple rulers, and expelled from the temple, Jesus went and sought him out. He very rarely did this once someone was healed, but for this man, he did. I believe God has a special place in his heart for those who are abused, wrongfully accused, or condemned by religious leadership. I believe He loves those who are wronged by churchianity--yes, churchianity, not Christianity, because those who do these wrongs follow a church, not Christ. 1 John 4:7-8 7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

One thought on “What happened to being nice?”

  1. A good point indeed. It seems like a lot of groups that aren’t thriving have the reason staring them in the face, but they ignore it. I think people really need to feel that they matter as a part of a congregation and if they don’t, no wonder they go elsewhere.

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