I want to explain why I think the teachings in “Created to be His Help Meet” book by Debi Pearl and the “Marriage God’s Way” DVD by Michael Pearl are completely heretical at least in situations like mine was, and worse, dangerous for abusive marriages.

In “Marriage God’s Way” Michael Pearl lists something he calls a “Moral Earnestness Test” on the screen showing all the difficult passages of scripture for women using the King James Version. He then does some commentary between verses and I’ll write whatever I can remember and/or what I understood his comments were. And then maybe I’ll add some personal comments underneath.

**Trigger Warning**

Michael Pearl’s “Moral Earnestness Test,” not necessarily in order:

  • Proverbs 31:11 – The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. {Michael Pearl taught that a woman should never spoil her husband’s reputation by saying anything negative about him to anybody.}
  • Ephesians 5:23 – For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
  • 1 Timothy 2:11-15 – Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
  • Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. {Wives should submit to their husband just like they submit to God.}
  • 1 Peter 3:1 – Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; {If they are not interested in Christianity, don’t try to evangelize them.}
  • Genesis 3:16 – Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
  • 1 Timothy 2:12 – But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. (I understood that to mean it was sin to try to apply the great commission, to contend for the faith, to correct my husband in any way whether privately or anywhere.)
  • 1 Corinthians 11:3-16 – But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. {Michael Pearl said that this means in the chain of command, my husband is god to me.}
  • 1 Corinthians 14:34 – Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but [they are commanded] to be under obedience, as also saith the law. (So it was inappropriate for me to ask the pastor anything about the teaching. I had to ask my husband about it whether he heard the lesson or not.)
  • Colossians 3:18 – Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

I just wanted to add some words and say that after seeing all those Bible verses scrunched together in that way, it is enough to keep a new young Christian wife very oppressed and confused, thinking I had to pick and choose whether to obey God’s Word or my husband. And to try to do both was really hard because I felt unequally yoked and in my zeal my husband would make fun of me. I hated being made fun of.

Don’t get me wrong. I was often rebellious to this system when I just had enough which was probably every day. Then I’d just keep trying to work the system. It felt like the rest of the Bible couldn’t possibly be for me. When I’d try to apply my personal studies I felt like it just didn’t work with my circumstances being married to a man who at the time seemed annoyed with my Christianity. This made me start feeling like I was losing my saltiness.

I couldn’t ask anybody for help because then that would require me to probably share something negative about my husband which would make me fall short of Proverbs 31 womanhood. I was stuck in bewilderment for many years just picking and choosing what seemed convenient at the time living with a confused conscience for a long time never trusting my head too much.

To be continued.

Marriage Trouble Part 1
Marriage Trouble Part 2
Marriage Trouble Part 3
Marriage Trouble Part 4
Marriage Trouble Part 5