Going back through some of my blogs, I realize how much things have changed in a short amount of time. I mentioned a few months ago that I was having trouble with Bible reading, and wanted to respond to that now.
I still don’t tend to pick up a Bible and start reading. My former church was heavily into the BREAD program, where everyone is supposed to read a certain number of chapters (and certain ones, designated by a sheet that’s handed out) every day. That might be part of my resistance to picking up the Bible and reading now, I’m not sure.
What I do know is that it’s becoming easier to read and study the Bible now. Several months ago I started participating in an online Bible study. It obligated me to post 15 verses a day and study them. Fifteen verses isn’t much, so I could do that. I had a few nightmares, but posting online and opening the verses for discussion helped me immensely–I was accountable to read at least some amount, and when I got to a sticky place I could ask questions and/or look for answers to help someone else. I still don’t know how I’d handle Revelation, but even Hebrews is OK. Fewer and fewer verses trigger me, even of those that haven’t been part of the discussion yet.
Everyone’s different. I wanted to read but couldn’t seem to do so without resentment and a flood of bad memories. Everyone’s different, but if a person wants to do something and can’t seem to because of memories, there’s probably a way, or will be, given a little time and patience.