“What, you too? I thought I was the only one.”

I have random thoughts as I read a quote from a famous person, or a passage in a book, or hear something while watching a movie and it triggers a thought about my former church or perhaps about spiritual abuse in general. Or it may just be a thought that pops unexpectedly into my brain or things that are talked about by others talking about spiritual abuse.

For example, I recently saw this quote: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another ‘What, you too? I though I was the only one.'” ~ C. S. Lewis.

It wasn’t the friendship part, but the “What, you too?” part that got me. When I first joined the spiritual abuse support group, I read a number of posts by many different people and could not believe the similarities between parts of my story and theirs. Many people had been through different situations than me, but still it was all the same in a way. People also told me that my story could be theirs.

I am not alone, I found out. It was not just me. So many of us knew something was wrong at church. But no one else wanted to talk about it. For me I knew to not speak it out loud. It seemed to be forbidden. Whatever it was, I thought I was the only one. So I kept it all pushed down out of mind. And so some of us stayed for years (18 for me) and accepted the abnormal for normal.

Now that I have been out for three years, I realize that some of the early ‘red flags’ I was getting, I should have paid more attention to. Hindsight is always better. Even when you consider yourself to be a rational person who would never get caught up in a cult-like organization.

So if you are here because you want to find out what in the world is going on and “is that really in the Bible?” remember, You are not alone.

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Author: Random Thoughts

I was a member of a UPCI church for 18 years. I left just before Thanksgiving 2012. I did not leave because of abuse directed at me specifically nor did I leave due to questioning standards. It was what was going on in the church, the gossip about some people. And I had sat on the pew for about 2 years wondering "Where is Jesus? What have they done with Him?" It was truly "Christianity Without the Cross" even before I had heard of that book. I joined Lois Gibson's SA support group that November I left and am glad that I am no longer associated with my former church. And I am thankful for Lois's efforts to educate people about spiritual abuse. :)

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